It was almost evening by the time I got back to my room. I sat there, looking at the carp, with its eyes open, its thin nose and lips, its delicate features, and its wonderful shape and smell. So tempting and luscious was its body that it seemed to be enveloped in a gleaming white halo. I was so thrilled by its appearance and eager to consume it that I rushed to prepare it for grilling so that I would gain the greatest possible benefit from eating it. And so it was. Once I had finished, I gave thanks to God Almighty and lay down to concentrate on the concept of those gorgeous, bright, mascara-lined eyes I had seen. When I had first spotted her, she had lowered her gaze, and I got the impression that I was looking at a devout recluse. But then I had taken a longer look, and the sense of pleasure I felt was even stronger and more penetrating, the kind that, within the context of women and pleasure, will regularly strike the lover-all in accordance with the practice of the Prophet of Islam, who declared, "There is no monasticism in Islam." It was that stronger and more penetrating sense of delight that was affecting me now, as I lay there on my own recalling the face of that lovely, radiant woman.
How amazing that I should feel so passionate toward those who make up half of humanity!
How amazing that I've not forgotten those who are the companions of men, particularly in view of the fact that this period that I'm spending in seclusion in this zawiya imposes no barriers between myself and the supply of women!
No, I am no ascetic when it comes to women or my own portion of this life on earth. I'm neither an ascetic nor a monk, the kind of people who go to excessive lengths in displaying their poverty, harboring their frustrations, and renouncing all of life's demands on them.
While my memory, associations, and impressions were all at their height, I had the vision of a woman whose name and other particulars I had forgotten. All I could recall were her facial features and the fact that she loathed men. She used to spend precious time setting snares to trap her lovers, then cast them off and laugh at their indignity. No sooner had God seen fit to enlighten me about her behavior than I made good my escape.
There was another woman as well about whom the only thing I can remember is that I'd spoken to her as she emerged from a swim. "That water's dirty and unsafe," I said. "You're extremely beautiful and deserve much better. Shall I show you where such water can be found?"
"Haven't you anything better to do," she responded with a sarcastic laugh, "than hang around leering at me?"
I cannot remember how I replied. All I know is that the exchange marked the beginning of a profound relationship that was only broken by a rich merchant who managed to immerse her in a vast sea of money and gifts and kept her like a toy doll amid all his other possessions and property.
Had I kept on invoking memories like these, I could have come up with images of other women, scattered and fragmentary though they might well be. For that very reason I decided to think about nothing; yes indeed, nothing at all!
Come to ablution, then prayer! That done, I kept sleep at bay by finishing my reading of Ibn al-'Arabi's Bezels of Wisdom, actually the final section, "The Bezel of the Unique Wisdom in the Word of Muhammad." I contemplated the significance of several amazing paragraphs, among which were the following:
Concerning the category of love, which is the basis of existence, he said, "In your world three things were made objects of my love, in that the world contains a threefold aspect. He then mentions women and perfume, with prayer as the most desirable of all. Thus, the Prophet began with women and placed prayer at the end, in that woman is a part of man in the basic manifestation of her source and man's awareness of his own self antecedes that of God. Knowledge of God is a result of self-knowledge. For that reason the Prophet-peace be upon him!said, `He who knows himself, knows his Lord."'
Here is another wonderful passage: "Muhammad-may God bless and preserve him! — is the clearest proof of his Lord. Every part of this world gives evidence of its source, namely the Lord; so take notice! Women were made beloved to Muhammad, so he longed for them since it is part of the longing that the whole feels for its individual parts."
And another one: "When a man loves a woman, he desires union; that is, the goal of union that exists through love. In the image of essential formation there exists no greater union than that of marriage."
And one last one, although by no means the last of alclass="underline" "The witness of the Truth regarding women is the finest and most complete of all. Marriage is the finest union. It is akin to divine direction given to those whom He has created in His image in order to create him. Thus, in him He sees His own self. He molded him, adjusted him, and breathed into him His own spirit which is His own self. The outer surface of Him is creation; the inner part is Truth…"
No sooner had I finished reading this chapter and started contemplating its significance than I fell into a deeply contented slumber. When I woke again, it was to realize that the inevitable had indeed happened: a dream in which I was dancing with a carp that had been transformed into a mermaid, the most beautiful and gorgeous imaginable; and another dream involving pleasantries exchanged with virgin girls, followed by sex with exquisite houris, and a life of bliss. And all of it thanks to a dream culled from my reading of paradise as envisaged by Muhyi al-din Ibn al to whom I express my gratitude.
So come to purity and prayer, and then the ritual of union!
These reflections were interrupted by a series of gentle knocks on the door. I allowed Tariq to come in and found myself facing the quartet of my closest confidants. I stood up to embrace them all and asked them why they had stayed away for so long, hoping all the while that it was all to the good.
"Yes, everything's fine, praise God!" said `Adnan to reassure me. "The problems of daily life have kept us occupied, but you, beloved friend, reside permanently in our hearts."
"You asked that your seclusion be I 'Amr went on. "For that reason we were anxious not to disturb you."
"Even so," Tariq added, we found the long separation unbearable, so we've come to see you along with the ever-growing number of your admirers. We won't be staying any longer than necessary."
"You are all welcome," I told them joyfully. "Bring them all in."
There were about thirty people, so my room was far too small. I invited them all to take a walk on Jabal Musa so we could stroll around, fill our nostrils with the fresh air, contemplate the things we saw, and appreciate the miracles of divine creation. I began by introducing myself to each one of them, but then we made our way to Jabal Musa; sometimes I would be in the lead, but at others I preferred to stay in the middle. I said rather little, choosing instead to give free rein to gestures and the vistas before us.
We made our way through a shady forest with overhanging branches and leaves. It was inhabited by monkeys, gazelles, and other species of animals whose calls we could hear without actually seeing them. We then reached an open park area with rippling brooks and lush trees. At their tops birds of all kinds competed to sing the loveliest song as though to provide welcome and entertainment in celebration of our arrival.
For the benefit of the overwhelmed students I pointed out one of the ascetics, who was transferring his gaze from the heavens to the stone tablet on which he was drawing. But, when some of us drew near, he grabbed his tablet and ran away. I then went on to identify someone else who was watching in fascination as flowers and trees shed their blossoms; and still another one, whom I had never seen before, stark naked except for a loincloth, who was rolling around in the dust and water, repeating over and over again, "He is God… He is God!" I told them all not to go near him, or else he would vanish in the blink of an eye.