"What are you wearing? You can see . . . all your . . . naughty bits."
Penelope threw herself between Newt and me. I didn't need her defense and gently nudged her aside.
I grabbed a sharp knife from the table. "I'm going upstairs. Behave yourselves." I used the plural, but I looked at Newt.
"Good luck," said Newt.
"Remember," added the fox, "mate first. Eat second."
"Rip out his throat," grumbled Newt.
Penelope followed me upstairs. Each footfall seemed heavier than the last. I didn't understand exactly what trepidation gripped me, but as I neared Wyst's room, it grew Ghastly Edna had taught me not to fear failure or horrible death, but she'd never prepared me for this. She'd once said, "It's easy to defeat life-or-death ordeals. Such tribulations demand success. It's the small tests that require something more from us. When we can turn and walk away is when we find what we're made of."
I stopped at Wyst's door. I reached for the knob but stopped short. I considered turning back. So long as I didn't open that door, I could always live with not knowing.
Penelope nudged my elbow.
I stood there frozen. I even stopped breathing. I ran it over and over through my mind. Could I really live without knowing? What if he turned me away? What if I killed him? What if he was forced to kill me? There were so many questions, and every answer seemed wrong. I was no closer to making the decision when Penelope finally made it for me.
She rapped on the door twice and floated behind me as it opened. Wyst stood there. He didn't say anything. His face remained blank, save for the soft arch of his eyebrows.
I suddenly felt very self-conscious. I didn't mind being practically nude before anyone. Anyone but this man. I was a creature of flawless, accursed beauty, and he loved me. Knowing didn't seem to make any difference. I wanted my thick, black frock. Maybe a hat. Even a shawl to drape across my shoulders would've been nice.
I kept my hands by my side, resisting the urge to hide my body behind folded arms. I swallowed a lump in my throat.
"May I come in?"
His eyebrows rose another notch. He glanced down the hall, back to his room, and back at me before moving aside. I stepped into his room. Penelope stayed in the hall. I whispered a thank you to my broom as I closed the door.
His room was cozy. I was too distracted to notice anything but the bed and a folded blanket lying on the floor.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"I was only meditating."
The meditation of White Knights must've been a strenuous practice. He was slightly out of breath. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and his entire body was tense. Or maybe these were due to my presence. He could only look at me from the corner of his eye.
It was terribly hot in this room. I paced to the window and opened it a crack. Wyst was reflected in the spotless glass. He studied my back, unaware I could see his glance wander up and down my body. I put my fingers to the window and traced the image of his strong, pleasing face.
"Is something wrong, witch?" He spoke softly. The first time I'd ever heard him mumble.
I was woefully inexperienced, but I was a creature made to seduce. I trusted my instincts. I turned slowly, allowing Wyst to enjoy my form from all angles. Then I glided to him, literally floating a hairsbreadth off the floor. My gown billowed upward, revealing my perfect legs. His already tense body tightened. I drew close but didn't touch him.
He turned his face from me. "What are you doing?"
I put a palm to his cheek and turned his face back. He closed his eyes.
"I can't do this."
Words could say much, and they said all the more when there were so few. He hadn't said he wouldn't. He'd said he couldn't. Can't is for things you mustn't do, yet you know you will.
He put a hand to my hand as if to pull it away. "I've taken a vow, a sacred vow."
I ran my thumb across his soft lips. "Tell me to leave, and I will." I did my best to sound as if this wouldn't bother me.
"I need my virtue," he whispered. "Without it, I'll be no match for the sorcerer."
"With it, you are still no match."
He withdrew half a step. "I can't let you face him alone. I have to protect you."
Again, his words said much. His resistance didn't come from his vows of purity. It stemmed from his love, his desire to keep me from harm. I understood more than he knew. We were so much alike, but unlike my burden, his could be put aside.
"You can't protect me from my fate, Wyst. And you won't meet Soulless Gustav tomorrow. That is my battle alone. You've done everything you can for me. There is only one favor I have left to ask of you ..."
I moved as close as I could without touching him. The heat of his body washed over me. The lanterns flared with my rising desire. I wanted to throw him down and force him to love me. But it was his decision to make.
He stared into my eyes and bit his lower lip.
"When I meet my destiny tomorrow, Wyst, I will greet it gladly, without regrets. Save one. Unless you see fit to grant me one last favor."
"I can t."
I put a finger to his lips. The lanterns dimmed.
"They're just words, Wyst. They say much and mean nothing. Empty syllables carried on whispers, that's all they are. If you can deny me, deny yourself, without them, I'll go."
He ran his fingers through my hair and smiled sweetly. "I can't..."
"No words."
We drew closer.
"But..." He sounded parched.
I put my hands on his chest and felt the pounding of his heart. The warmth of his flesh seared my palms. His hand slipped down my neck and slid the gown from my shoulders. I ran my calf along his thigh. Strange, how natural it all was. As if I'd done this a thousand times before.
We kissed. I couldn't remember who kissed who. We just suddenly were. My stomach grumbled. The fiend within wanted to bite off his tongue. I could feel the gush of tangled veins in his throat, just begging to be ripped out.
I pulled away, and it was his turn to be puzzled. "I have to warn you. I might kill you."
I handed him the knife.
"If you feel you must, drive this blade in my heart and save yourself."
The knife clattered to the floor. He took me in his arms and kissed my neck. He whispered softly in my ear.
"Some things are worth the risk."
27
Wyst's btood tasted evensweeter than I'd expected.
I en joyed a drop, gained in a moment when my passion and carnivorous lusts caught me unaware, and I'd nibbled his ear too sharply. It was the only slip. Though at the heights of our rapture, visions of rent flesh did flash through my mind. The carnal pleasures overwhelmed my appetite. Mostly.
Wyst put a hand to my grumbling stomach. The dark of his fingers against my alabaster skin seemed a perfect contradiction. We were so different on the surface, yet so much alike.
"Do you regret it?" I asked. "The loss of your virtue?"
He put fingers to my chin and raised my face to his. "If I'd regretted it, I would've stopped after the first time. And my virtue isn't lost, only my chastity."
His lips graced my forehead. I kissed him and my hand danced down his thigh.
"Again? You really will kill me."
I smiled. He didn't know how right he was. With my curse, I could do just that. I could hold him in this bed and stoke his fires over and over again until every last ounce of his life burned away. The danger of that was a long way off. Wyst was a healthy specimen, possessed of enough stamina to survive a week or two in my dangerous embrace.
I slipped over him and nibbled on his lower lip. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed me tight against him. My stomach roared, no longer to be neglected. I found the strength to roll away. It was easier knowing he would still be here when I got back. I put on my gown and paused at the door just long enough to cast a sidelong glance at him lying there. Any more would have been too much temptation.