He was bundled into the warmth and light of the police station, blinking and exhausted, and made his apologies with quite unexpected grace, out of the fullness of his own plenty. He said thank you to everyone who had gathered there from the great boy-hunt, and requested that his thanks be conveyed to all those who were not there to hear for themselves. Hewitt received the offering with considerable complacency, out of pure relief, but maintained a solemn face.
“Don’t you think you’ve heard the last of it, young feller-me-lad. Your next six months’ pocket-money’s going to be needed to pay for police shoe-leather. I’ll be sending you in a bill.” He grinned at Tim over the tow-coloured head that was beginning to be unconscionably heavy. “Take him home, clean him up and put him to bed, Mr. Rossall. I’ll talk to him in the morning, he’s out on his feet now.”
He remembered looking round a whole ring of faces when he said good-night. Mr. Felse was there with his wife, Tamsin was there, and Dominic, and the Vicar, and Uncle Simon. Uncle Simon was looking at him in an odd sort of way, smiling, but without the sparkle, and twice as hard as usual. And he didn’t come with them. Why didn’t he? Oh, yes, of course, he probably had his own car here, so he had to drive it home. But it didn’t look as if that was in his mind, somehow, when he shook his head at Dad, with that odd, rueful smile on his face, and said: “No, I’ll follow you down later, old boy. This is a family special.”
That reminded Paddy of how this extraordinary day had started. There were things he still had to know about himself, but somehow all the urgency was already gone. In the back seat of the car, rolled up again snugly in the rug, with Phil’s arm round him, and Phil’s shoulder comfortable and comforting under his cheek, he drowsed gloriously, too tired to know anything clearly except the one wonderful, all-pervading fact that it was all right. That everything was all right, because his belonging to them was everything.
And whoever he might have belonged to in the beginning, he was certainly theirs now. Heaven help anyone who tried to take him away from them, or them from him!
“I’m glad you know I know,” he said out of his pillows, bathed, fed, warmed and cosseted, and drowning in a delicious, sleepy happiness. “It did come as a bit of a shock at first, that’s why I sheered off from Aunt Rachel’s without telling anybody. I wasn’t trying to frighten anyone, or run away from home, or anything daft, like that. Honestly! I’m not such a clot.”
“I should hope not,” said Tim.
“No, but I was afraid you might think—I just felt shaken up, and not wanting to see anybody, or be talked to. You know! I started for home, and then I couldn’t face it, not until I’d had time to think. I went up on the Head, instead, but it was swarming. People everywhere. I just ditched the bike, and nipped down the cliff path and into the cave, where I knew I could be quiet. Just till I got a bit more used to it, that’s all. But then some kids came in, playing, and I backed up as far as I could, to get out of their way.”
Having, thought Phil, who had not failed to distinguish the tear-marks from the general stains of sea-water and cave-grime, an entirely visible and possibly temporarily uncontrollable distress to hide by then.
“Never mind now, darling, you go to sleep. There’s time for all that to-morrow. You’re home, and that’s all that matters.”
“Yes, but I just wanted you to know I wasn’t sulking, or anything childish like that. It was just by accident I happened to find this passage in the top end of the cave. Only a low sort of hole, you have to crawl through it on hands and knees. I was backed up into this corner, and I shoved my shoulder through it in the dark. It goes a long way. That’s how I lost time, having to be careful because of not having a light. In the end I did call it a day and decide to come back some other time with a torch, but what with not being able to see my watch, and forgetting because I was interested, by the time I crawled back through the hole I’d had it. The water was almost up to the top of the cave mouth, and I didn’t dare dive for it, it was too rough. I had to lie up and wait, there wasn’t anything else to do.” He looked up with the remembered terror suddenly brilliant in his eyes, squarely into Tim’s face. “I was scared green,” he said.
“So would I have been. Even knowing that the top part of the Hole’s above high water, I’d still have been scared.”
“And even there you get a bit battered. And deafened! I couldn’t wait to get out, it seemed for ever. I couldn’t tell what time it was, you see, I just had to follow the water down, and you have to be super-cautious feeling your way in the dark. But I was on my way out as fast as I dared when they came and found me.”
Phil turned the shaded light away from her own face, for fear he should see his ordeal reflected there all too plainly, stroked the fuzz of fair hair back from his forehead, and said: “Yes, well, it’s all over now. You just forget it and go to sleep.”
“Yes—all right, I will. I just wanted you to know how it was. I’m sorry I caused everybody so much trouble.” Half asleep and off his guard, he said with shattering simplicity: “I was just so miserable I didn’t know what to do.”
Tim hooked a large right fist to the angle of his son’s jaw, and rolled the fair head gently on the pillow till a shamefaced grin came through.
“Did you say you weren’t a clot? You could have fooled me! Sure you know now where you live?” The drowsy head nodded; the grin had a curious but happy shyness. “And what time the tide comes in? All right, then, you sleep it off. If you want anything we’ll be around.” He rose, rolled Paddy over in the bed, and smacked the slight hummock of his rump under the clothes. “Good-night, son!”
“Good-night, Dad!”
All the years they’d been saying exactly the same words, and they’d never meant so much before!
Phil kissed the spot where the blonde hair grew to a slight point on the smooth forehead, and was following Tim from the room when a small, self-conscious voice behind her said: “Mummy!”
The tone of it tugged her back to him in a hurry. He hadn’t said it without thought, it had a ceremonial solemnity. She stooped over him, and he pushed away the bedclothes suddenly and reached up his arms for her, burrowing his face thankfully into the hollow of her neck.
“Just making sure,” he said in a muffled whisper. “You are, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am, Patrick Rossall, and don’t you dare forget it.”
She gathered up his clothes when she left the room. The flannels would have to go straight to the cleaners. She sat down on the rug beside Tim, and extracted from the pockets, smiling over them with a ridiculous tenderness because they were small projections of Paddy’s personality, one exceedingly grubby handkerchief, sticky with sea-water, a ball pen down to its last inch, the end chewed, two or three foreign stamps, a used bus ticket, one dilapidated toffee, and a few coins, which she stacked carefully on the arm of Tim’s chair.
“He’s all right, isn’t he?” said Tim, ears pricked for any sound from upstairs.
“Yes, he’s all right.” Her smile was heavy, maternal and assured. “Don’t worry about Paddy. Tim, I’m glad! I’m glad she told him. It’s a once-only. He knows now.”
“He’s a nice kid,” said Tim. He took up the little pile of coins to play with, because they were Paddy’s. “Look, a brand-new halfpenny.” He looked again, and froze. “It isn’t, though! What is it? Phil, look! It isn’t copper. It looks like gold!”
She dropped the crumpled, dirty flannels, and held out her hand curiously for the coin. It lay demurely in her palm, showing a thick-necked female profile, with a curled lock of hair draped over one plump shoulder.
“Tim, it must be a guinea! Or a half-guinea—-but it’s too big, isn’t it? ANNA DEI GRATIA. And VIGO underneath her portrait. What does that mean? There’s a date on the other side, 1703. REG. MAG. BR. FR. et HIB.” She looked up at Tim over her spread palm, open-mouthed. “Tim, where on earth did our Paddy get a Queen Anne guinea?”