A Phule and His Money

"I suppose there's no point in postponing it," said Phule, sighing. "Send 'em on in."

Moments later the door to Phule's office opened and the two government officials barged through. "There," said Eastman, pointing to the image of Jennie, still visible in the holo-viewing area. "What do you say about that?"

"I say it's great publicity for the park," said Phule. "It's been running every half hour, in every major market in this sector. If it brings visitors from off-planet, your park will benefit, as well."

"I expected some such impertinence," said Eastman. He pointed his finger at Phule. "What do you have to say about publishing state secrets? That's espionage, no matter how you slice it."

Phule raised his brows. "State secrets? I can't imagine what you mean."

Mays leaned forward over Phule's desk. "Do you deny tipping your journalist friend about Landoor Park?"

"Of course I deny it," said Phule, leaning back in his desk chair. "Jennie is a good reporter-she can find things by herself, and I suspect that's all she did here. I won't deny telling her about New Atlantis Park. Publicity is a big part of the game plan, Colonel. If Taep's going to repay my loans, his park's got to get off-planet customers. We've got to let the people on other planets know it's here. What better way than talking to a reporter?"

"And in the process, you force our hand," said Mays. "If we copy your tactics, we undergo a radical increase in expenses. If we ignore them, you gain the edge in publicity."

"It doesn't cost anything to talk to Jennie," said Phule. "If you hadn't turned down her interview requests..."

"We are bound by government regulations," said Eastman. "I would risk a jail sentence for disclosing state secrets. At the very least, I could lose my position."

"If I were you, I'd get the regulations changed," said Phule. "The planet's future depends on it."

"It is you who have put us in this dilemma," said Eastman. His face was red, and his voice had risen in pitch. "You will force us to take extreme measures, if you are not careful."

"Do what you have to," said Phule. "I'll do what I believe is best for the entire planet, not just one faction. Now, gentlemen, is there anything else?"

"Not for the moment," said Colonel Mays, taking Eastman by the elbow and steering him toward the door. "But I can promise you there will be."

There are any number of phrases no executive wants to hear, but most of them boil down to "Boss, we got trouble." Which is what Okidata said as he burst into the Landoor Plaza's dining room. Phule was halfway through a delicious plate of oysters Landoor-a dish Escrima had happily adopted from the local cooks. Bluepoint oysters had been one of Earth's most popular exports to developing worlds. They had done especially well on Landoor.

Phule wiped the spicy sauce from his lips and said, "We've had surprise inspections and smoke bombs and wildcat picket lines and power outages, and we've survived them all. So unless this new problem is incoming missiles, I suspect it can wait while I finish these oysters. Sit down and have a drink. What kind of trouble are we talking about?"

"The government's starting a new ride," said Okidata, sliding into the seat opposite Phule. "And from the look of it, they're aiming to top the Zipper."

"Well, you predicted as much," said Phule, sighing. "We'll have to see what else the Maestro has in his portfolio."

"He'd better have something pretty triff," said Okidata. He was interrupted by the waiter's arrival. After ordering an iced coffee, he turned back to Phule. "We can't tell much about the design yet, but the main drop is five meters higher than the Zipper, and they've got what might be a double loop, the second one an inverse-that's gonna be a serious ride."

"We'll have to do better," said Phule. "Learn as much about the new ride as you can. We'll call in Buster and the Maestro and see what we can come up with. We're not going to let them have the last word."

"Yes, sir!" said Okidata, his enthusiasm returning. "This is going to be fun!"

"I suppose it is," said Phule. "I can tell it's also going to be very expensive."

"Why, sure," said Okidata, beaming. "Isn't that what fun's all about?"

Phule shrugged. Whatever it cost, his Dilithium Express card would cover it.

The new government ride was dubbed the "Beast." After studying spy-camera holos of its emerging superstructure (partly concealed behind a security screen), Phule's advisory team began to design a ride to eclipse it: code name "Topper," developed from one of Maestro Zipiti's designs. The ride featured an initial drop ten meters higher than the new government ride-insuring an even higher speed and a longer duration than the Beast. With Okidata suggesting enhancements and Buster troubleshooting potential problems, construction began even before the final touches were put on the Zipper. And in accordance with Phule's conviction that publicity was imperative, press releases went out even before the ground was broken:

Shortly after the framework was begun, a government delegation arrived at the park gate, headed by none other than Boris Eastman, with a team of safety inspectors in tow. "Now, Deputy Eastman, we've already obtained permits from the Department of Parks," said Phule, greeting them at the gate. "There's really nothing to be discussed."

"I'm afraid there is, Captain," said Eastman, smirking. "It has come to our attention that you are building a ride that violates safety regulations."

"Safety regulations?" Buster was livid. "I'm compliant with every damn safety regulation you can think up, and then some. Tarnation, we doubled the load-bearing specs on every single stress point of this bugger. You show me in the books where I'm violatin' your regulations."

"You may not have kept up with current legislation while you were out in the jungle, playing revolutionary," said Eastman, smirking even more nastily. He handed Buster a thick sheaf of printout. "But now that you are back in civilization, you will have to conform to our laws. The relevant passage is on page fourteen, I believe."

Buster quickly flipped to the page in question and read it. He looked up and passed the sheets to Phule. "You bastards! You've set the maximum legal height for a ride right at the height of your new coaster. And you did this just last week!"

Phule quickly scanned the printout, which verified Buster's statement. "This is obviously aimed at preventing us from competing with you," he said, frowning at Eastman. "This is nothing short of restraint of free competition."

"Call it what you will," said Eastman, looking down his nose at Phule. "The law is the law. If your ride's in violation, we intend to shut down your whole park. Now, are you going to comply with the regulations, or shall I send my inspectors to start measuring?"

"I reckon we could beat this in court," muttered Buster, balling his fists. "Problem is, it'll take months, and the ride'll sit there unfinished while we fight the case."

"We'll beat it without breaking the regulations," said Phule. "Deputy Eastman, I thank you for your advisory. But if you think we're going to let this stop us, you're dead wrong."

"Perhaps so, Captain," said Eastman, grinning. "But remember, we'll be watching you. Build one centimeter over the legal height, and we'll padlock the place. Good day, sir!"

"A bad day to you," growled Buster, but Eastman had already turned on his heel and left.

Phule slapped Buster on the shoulder. "Don't worry, we knew what we were up against when we started this game. We can still top them-and they'll find out that all they've done is make it harder for themselves to come back and top us!"

"I sure hope you're right," said Buster. But when Phule explained what he had in mind, a grin spread across his face. "Yeah, that ought to do the trick," he said at last.

"Good," said Phule. "Now, all we have to do is turn it into hardware. Come on, we've got work to do!"