"Getting this house arrest lifted would be a good start," said Phule. "The park opens tomorrow morning, and I want to be there. I can work on the rest of my problems from a jail cell, if need be, but I think I've earned the right to be at the opening."
"Your priorities astonish me, sir," said Beeker. "However, I am certain we can find a way to persuade the general to give you your freedom for the day-possibly you'll have to put up with a guard, but that should be a minor inconvenience."
"Good, I trust you to explore all avenues on that one," said Phule. "As far as the rest-well, I told the IRS you had the figures to prove I'm in compliance with the tax laws, but they didn't want to hear it. I think they're so used to dealing with criminals that they can't imagine anyone actually obeying the law."
"More likely, the laws make it impossible to file a tax return without some sort of violation," said Beeker, dryly. "How much do they claim you owe?"
"Including penalties and interest, it's something like twenty million," said Phule. "That's absurd, of course-I can't possibly owe them penalties or interest if I'm not guilty of any violations to begin with."
"Your faith in common sense is quite inspiring, sir. I regret to inform you that the IRS operates on some entirely different system, as appalling in its way as anything the military can conjure up."
"Well, if you can't find me a way out, I doubt anybody can. You've got all the records here, don't you?"
"Yes, sir," said Beeker, nodding in the direction of his Port-a-Brain. "I'll set up a meeting to show them the relevant figures-that will take a good while, though. And we may still have to drag it through a couple of levels of appeal before we satisfy them. It might be easier to agree to some token payment, say a couple of million, to get rid of them."
"Blackmail!" said Phule. "I won't do it!"
"As you wish, sir. Unfortunately, they can tie up your assets rather thoroughly pending appeal. Not even Dilithium Express can entirely shield your money from the IRS, although I suspect you'll be able to pay your personal bills."
"I'll need more than that, if I'm going to keep running the company," said Phule.
"General Blitzkrieg seems bent on preventing that, sir," Beeker pointed out. "It might be prudent for you to give some thought to counteracting the general's plans, while I'm saving you from the IRS."
"Believe me, Beeker, I'm trying." Phule paused, then said, "Well, to be honest, keeping me from going bankrupt is of some urgency, as well. But I'm going to leave that in your hands, Beeker."
"I appreciate your confidence, sir," said Beeker.
Phule smiled. "It's been well-earned, Beeker. This won't be the first time you've saved my assets."
Journal #448
Obtaining my employer's release from house arrest turned out to be easier than anticipated. All that was really necessary was Le Duc Taep petitioning Ambassador Gottesman to allow Phule to attend the opening of the park he had done so much to bring to fruition. The ambassador, recognizing the former rebel leader as a significant player in the Landooran political arena, conveyed to General Blitzkrieg that keeping my employer confined would have undesirable political consequences. Surprisingly, even the Landooran government agreed that preventing him from attending the opening would be excessively cruel punishment for someone not yet proven guilty of anything. That was enough to get my employer his freedom-at least, for the day.
Le Duc Taep stood looking out a tower window at the customers standing in line outside the park. It was quarter to eight in the morning, and some people had been standing in line since before sunup. A few had even camped out overnight so as to be among the first to enter. They would have camped out longer, except the Legion security guards had made it clear they wouldn't allow them to.
He looked back at Phule and said, "My compliments, Captain. There have been times I despaired of this park ever opening. Now, we have come to the crowning moment-and look: The people have turned out for us in overwhelming numbers. The triumph of our cause is imminent."
"Don't get too enthusiastic," said Phule. "We'd have gotten a big crowd for opening day no matter what, with the half-price tickets. Our publicity campaign can't have hurt the crowds-we've beaten the government's pants off in that department. The real test will be how many people we have in line after the novelty wears off." Despite his cautious words, Phule smiled. It was hard not to smile, looking at the lines snaking through the turnstiles, and stretching as far back as the eye could see.
"I wonder how the lines are for Landoor Park," said Rembrandt.
"They've got huge lines, too," said Phule. "We think we've done a little better, but it's anybody's guess until we have real numbers. And the day's barely begun."
"We're still working to build attendance," said Rembrandt. "Our people will be handing out flyers at their exits, offering anyone with a ticket stub from their opening day a half-price ticket for our park, valid for one full year."
"That's a brilliant idea," said Taep. "Once the park has shown them the superiority of our principles, not many will endorse the government's sleazy operation."
"I'd hope they keep coming to both parks," said Phule. He put his hand on Taep's shoulder. "It's important for your park to succeed, but it's even more important for all your world's people to do well. And that's going to depend on drawing off-planet visitors. Your people will support the parks, but they can't revive the economy all by themselves. It would be like two men passing a dollar back and forth every few seconds and claiming they were each taking in ten dollars a minute."
"We're not reduced to that," said Okidata, chuckling at the image. "We'll see how well the off-planet attendance holds up in the long run, but we've got a great start."
"Well, if Jenny's opening day report gets broadcast widely enough, that'll be a big plus," said Phule, pointing to the reporter and her cameraman, working the crowds. There were other reporters there, too-the press had sensed a good human-interest story. "The only thing better than publicity is free publicity," he said. "I think I'll go down and mingle with the crowd some-I haven't even tried any rides yet."
"That's the spirit," said Le Duc Taep. "We'll make a proper New Atlantean of you yet!"
"I'll come with you," said Rembrandt. "I've got to check on our attendance monitors."
The stairs led down to the park's main street, where groups of tourists were surging forward toward the newly opened rides. Others were more leisurely looking into the souvenir shops along the way.
Rembrandt stopped outside the door and said, "All right, Captain, I can tell something's eating you. What is it?"
Phule turned to her and said, "The IRS has decided I owe them some enormous amount in back taxes. I mean to fight it, of course, but that'll take time away from running the company. You may be in charge a lot more-assuming I'm not replaced entirely."
"Replaced?" Rembrandt stopped in her tracks. "That's going to happen over our dead bodies, Captain!"
Phule responded with a thin smile. "I appreciate the support, Remmie, but General Blitzkrieg is trying to get rid of me. Knowing him, he'd probably enjoy wiping out the entire company in the process-he considers its very existence a blot on his record."
"And making it a success is probably a deadly insult," said Rembrandt. The two of them began walking, sharing the street with the ebullient crowds. "The brass hats couldn't make this company effective, but you came in and did it in a couple of years-mainly by scrapping their system. And in the process, showing them up as incompetents who couldn't recognize good legionnaires if they fell over them."