"Not exactly," said Phule. "I guess I'd better see them anyway. I'll be in my office in five minutes."
"I'll tell them," said Mother. Then, after a pause, "That doesn't give you enough time to change. You aren't going to change to meet them? Tsk, tsk."
"If they're that anxious to see me, I shouldn't make them wait," said Phule. "Besides, if I show up in skivvies, it proves I'm taking them seriously. It can't hurt. Tell them I'm on my way." He toweled a few beads of sweat off his forehead, and made his way through the hotel's back corridors to his office.
Mays and Eastman were in the waiting room. Eastman was seated, tapping his fingers nervously, but Mays was pacing, jittery as a caged predator. They both turned to glare as he strode briskly through the door. "Well, gentlemen, sorry to keep you waiting," said Phule. "We in the military have to stay in shape, and I'm afraid I haven't had much time for that lately. What can I do for you?" He indicated the open doorway into his private office.
"You've had plenty of time for meddling," snapped Eastman. He rose to his feet, his fists balled at his side.
"That depends on what you mean by meddling," said Phule, as calmly as he could manage. "Come inside and we can discuss it."
The two followed him into the office, grumbling, and he closed the door behind them. He directed them to a large couch, then perched on the edge of his desk and said, "Gentlemen, I have good news for you. I have just returned from a mission to persuade Le Duc Taep to end his rebellion. I'm sure you will be pleased to learn that Le Duc Taep is disbanding his army. Instead of trying to overthrow the government, the rebels are ready to do their part to build a strong economy."
"Build the economy? Better you should say destroy the economy!" said Eastman. "We know the score. The outlaws plan a theme park in direct competition with Landoor Park-endangering a project the government has invested millions in!"
Phule smiled. "Le Duc Taep's new park will create jobs-I'd think you'd be in favor of that."
"He will steal our workers-people we've trained!" snarled Eastman, "The workers should be grateful for government jobs."
"If the jobs are that good, Taep won't be able to hire the workers away," said Phule. "I'm a businessman, Deputy Eastman. I don't expect the law of supply and demand to suspend itself for my benefit."
"No, but you're not above diddling with it," said Colonel Mays, grimacing. "I won't deny you your due, Captain-if you have convinced the rebels to lay down their arms, you have earned our sincere congratulations. But tell me this, Le Duc Taep is not a poor man, but he has never had the capital to start up a project like this. You're bankrolling him, aren't you?"
"I've extended him a business loan," said Phule, with a shrug. "I've had everything vetted by a local lawyer, and she assures me we're in perfect compliance with your laws."
Eastman made a rude noise. "You can find a lawyer to approve anything, if you're willing to pay enough. Don't bandy legalisms with us, Captain. You've been trying to undermine this government ever since you arrived onplanet-"
Phule cut him off. "Let's get one thing straight, Deputy. My orders come from the Galactic Joint Chiefs of Staff-not from anybody on this planet. I'm not so foolish as to ignore local opinion in arriving at my policies. But so far all I've heard from the government is accusations and bluster."
"That's the line you're taking, is it?" said the Colonel. "Well, I give you credit for guts, if not for common sense. Don't think we won't go over your head, Captain-you are a very small fish, whether you know it or not."
"I am no egomaniac, Colonel," said Phule. "But I suggest you stop trying to intimidate me. That's already been tried. By the way, have your police found those snipers yet?"
"I don't like your implication," Eastman bristled.
Mays held up a hand. "Let me respond to that, Boris," he said. Then he turned back to Phule. "Captain, I'm sure that my police could find the sniper quickly enough, if they questioned some of your new associates. Oh, that reminds me of a question I had-when can we expect you to turn over the rebel leaders to stand trial for their crimes?"
"I'm not convinced they've committed any crimes, Colonel," said Phule. "You've made plenty of accusations, but nobody's shown me hard evidence of criminal acts. Lacking that, I must consider any attempt to arrest them a treaty violation by the government."
Colonel Mays rose to his feet. "Boris, I can see we're wasting our time here. The captain will whistle a different tune when his commanding general hears about his obstructionism. Until then, we have business to attend to."
"Good day, Colonel," said Phule. "Be sure to come back when the park opens, gentlemen. I'll have Taep set aside free tickets for you both."
"The rebel park will never open," said Eastman. "Good day, Captain." And he and Colonel Mays stalked out of the office.
"Thrill rides," said Armstrong. He shook his head. "They upset my stomach. Why would somebody travel halfway across the galaxy to get on something that upsets his stomach?"
"Don't ask me," said Rembrandt, leaning back in her chair. They were in the hotel's conference room, waiting for Phule to come brief them on the company's new project. "I can take 'em or leave 'em. I mean, they're fun once in a while, but you'd never get me to stand in line for half an hour to get on that UItraDragon, over at the beach."
"Half an hour? The lines were seventy minutes long yesterday afternoon!" Armstrong said, his face a study in perplexity. "For a ride that lasts ten minutes! And this is a run-of-the-mill amusement park on a backwater planet."
"Don't let any Landoorans hear you say that," said Brandy. "They kind of like this place, and they're serious about those rides. Besides, it is a burnin' hot ride-I'd say it's worth the wait, yeah. Even Tusk-anini seemed to like it, once Gnat persuaded him to try it. And Do-Wop and Mahatma got back in line to ride it again."
"Mahatma? I wouldn't expect anything else of Do-Wop, but Mahatma..." Armstrong paused and scratched his head. "Maybe I don't understand Mahatma," he said at last.
"Man, if you did, you could give courses in it to the rest of us," said Brandy, chuckling. "But these Landoorans really have a thing for thrill rides. The capital isn't all that big a city, but it's got five different parks with a couple of pretty good rides apiece, or so the tourist guidebook says. So I'd bet the big park the government is building will have half a dozen really good rides. The rebel's park has to match that-or top it, if they can. So maybe you better take your motion-sickness pills and climb on a couple of roller coasters. It looks like we're gonna be in the business."
"Oh, we're already in the business," said Armstrong resignedly. "The captain's made up his mind, and that's all I needed to know. But I'll gladly let Do-Wop and Mahatma do the ride-testing. There has to be some advantage to being an officer in this outfit!"
"Advantage to being an officer? That's the best joke I've heard all year," said Phule, sweeping into the room. He had a roll of blueprints under his arm, which he dumped on the conference table. Behind him was a tall man in a metallic silver jumpsuit, silver-tinted goggles, and silver hair. Seeing his officers' curiosity, Phule said, "I should introduce our new consultant: Maestro Mario Zipiti, the galaxy's leading expert on thrill rides."
"Eet ees ze plaisir to make ze acquaintance," said the Maestro, with a florid bow. "Togezzer, ve make ze most grand ride yet to be see in ze galaxy!" He pronounced the last word with the stress on the middle syllable.