“No this is different. This isn’t just about some zombies stumbling across us and trying to eat us. We’re being singled out, purposefully tracked.”
“How? That’s not even possible.” She yelled back, more in defense of her sanity than in any answer to transgression on my part.
“Possible? You’re pulling the possible card out?” I asked.
“Ok sorry. But how?” She said subdued. “And I guess, why? And who?”
“Maybe we taste better.” I said. Tracy glared at me. “Sorry.” I held my hands up to ward off any attempted blows. “Poor choice of words.”
“You think?”
I was scared shitless but I was trying my best to put on a brave face for Travis, Tommy and Tracy and well if I’m being honest, even myself. “I’m pretty sure about the ‘Who’, somewhat sure about the ‘Why’ and not a fucking clue as to ‘How’.” I laid out my concerns about Justin and how he could potentially be guiding every nearby zombie to our location. Tracy wasn’t buying it. I’m sure the majority of her reasoning had to do with plausible deniability, what mother ever wants to think her child could bring harm unto others. Tracy looked over at me, like I had just spit into her Cheerios. “It’s a theory I didn’t say it was fact.”
“Come up with something else college boy.” She said as she crossed her arms over her chest and turned to stare out of the windshield.
Lesson learned. Fact number one – never throw one of your children under the bus in front of your wife. We were almost out of the center of town when we came upon the non-descript sheriff’s office. I passed by slowly looking for any sign of problems. I was really getting sick of the calm before the storm crap. It was quiet, eerily so. The place wasn’t much bigger than your average Laundromat and about as appealing, but it would fit all of us easily enough. The two windows in the front were thankfully barred and the door looked heavily fortified enough. Why I kept remembering the motto for the roach motel, I don’t know. Humans go in but they don’t come out.
“Man, I just don’t like the looks of this.” I said out loud to no one in particular.
Tracy mirrored my unease. “Then let’s just go.”
“Yeah but I like the idea of sleeping in the Jeep, on the road even less. So it’s really the lesser of two crappy situations that I’m contemplating. Vona it is then.”
“You sure?” My wife asked looking around the cabin of the Jeep like all of a sudden it went from matchbox size to palaciousness.
As if in answer I yawned. My non-response was the worst decision I had made thus far. I was prepared to head out when my wife stopped me.
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“Cooking an omelet.” I shot back, one of these days my brain to mouth filter will work but for now I’ll have to just go back to what I do best, back-peddle. “Aw hell, I’m sorry Tracy, I’m just beat.” Did that get me off the hook? I looked over cautiously, when confronted with a wild animal (in this case a female human) it is best to avoid direct eye contact and make no fast furtive movements. I could tell by the way her hands were folded in her lap that I was in little danger of being struck but as I slowly raised my gaze, the look of fire in her eyes confirmed my suspicions, I was still in the doghouse.
“Talbot, are you going to check to see if the door is open?”
The question was reasonable. My reaction was not. All of a sudden the thought of vacating the relative safety of our rolling arsenal seemed like the worst idea ever presented. Damn her logic! I was going to suggest that I’d pull up to the front door and she could give it a quick yank, but we all know how well that would have gone over. I even began to form the arguments in my head like ‘I’ll stay behind the wheel and you can hop in so we can get away fast.’ Or ‘Have you ever seen how bad you drive a stick?’ or even better ‘You’re smaller so they won’t want to eat you as bad.’ Dammit “Sounds great, can’t wait,” I forced through a Cheshire cat smile. I pulled onto the gravel parking lot. The crunch of small stones under my tires set a flock of ravens into flight. ‘Oh pissa. That doesn’t seem too ominous.’ I thought sarcastically.
“Trav can you hand me the .357?” I asked.
He checked to make sure the cylinder was loaded. “You want me to come with you dad?”
The answer was obviously yes, but I had already had this battle once with Tracy and she was not about to go 0-2. “No.” I gulped out. I could feel some of the tension in Tracy drain out. “Grab the AR and cover my retreat if needed.” I didn’t want him using the shotgun, the last thing I wanted to do was pull buckshot out of my ass. I looked over to Tommy again, hoping for some divine intervention, nothing, no last minute stay of execution from the governor. He shrugged in response. I took a deep breath as I stepped out of the Jeep, the cold wind whipped across my face. I sucked in a shock of super frigid breath, my exhalation leaving a long plume. It was five purposeful strides to the front door of the sheriff’s office. I did it in 15 small cautious ones. ‘Be locked, be locked, be locked!’ The handle turned quietly, the door silently slid open. The pea soup murkiness inside the jail was broken only by ribbons of light that streamed in through the dusty windows. Dust lazily swirled about in those rays of sun. The smell was intense. I staggered back. Tracy had got into the driver’s seat and Travis stepped out to get a clearer shot.
I jumped when she yelled. “What is it?”
Well if they didn’t know we were here, they do now. I did not turn my head away from the door to respond. “It smells like Henry after a bean burrito.” It was kind of funny I think, Tracy actually turned green with the olfactory thought of that. We had only been removed from the stench for less than a day and this was not something you quickly forgot. “Death.”
“Get in, let’s go.” She said nervously.
I loved the suggestion, but when I wasn’t immediately attacked I let curiosity get the better of me. Plus being the gun nut that I am, I figured we could get all sorts of new armaments from here. “Hey pull up here and turn the lights on.”
“Are you serious? I think we should just go.” She replied.
“You’re probably right, but come over here anyway.” Travis walked alongside the Jeep constantly scanning for problems. Tommy nervously stared through the window, but not the front. He was looking back the way we had come. Whether he sensed something coming or wished we were heading back, he never said. Tracy pulled up closer, the headlights perfectly straddling the sides of the office door, lighting up the outside wall perfectly, and the inside, well not so much. “Um, could you maybe back up and get one of the headlights to shine into the door way?” I asked as nicely as possible.
“You didn’t say that’s what you wanted.” She shot back.
If I ever wanted to have relations with my wife again it was abundantly clear to me that I was going to have to not say what had bubbled to the top of my brain plate. “Yep you’re right.” I struggled to get out in a civil tone. When did ‘common sense’ not become a common virtue? I hope to God she never reads these journals.
She backed up with a jerk, the Jeep stalling. Ok this is about the time in any classic horror movie where the monster makes itself known. I jumped a measure or two when she turned the ignition over, the reverberation of the catching engine off the wall drowned out all other sound. This should be it. I tensed. A hand, a mouth, a bite, something should be happening soon.
“Oops.” Tracy said out the window.
That was pretty much the sentiment I had when I thought I had messed my underwear. Again these aren’t proud moments. I’m not some action movie star with stand-in stunt doubles, or a character on an Xbox360. I don’t get multiple retakes or extra lives. This life is a one shot deal, something goes wrong and I can’t hit ‘reset’.