"Thank you," I said, pulling my shoulders back. "I hadn't realized I was in such disgrace."
"Oh dear," Lady Elinor said. "You've not heard the rumor then?" I shook my head. "Ivy, will you walk ahead with Isabelle?"
"It must be quite awful if you're unwilling for her to hear it," I said, trying to inject into my voice a light tone as Ivy and Isabelle pulled away from us.
"One would think the fact that the two of you are walking together would put an end to all this, but apparently not." She looked back and forth between Margaret and myself as she spoke. "The story goes that the Duke of Bainbridge had a large quantity of flowers delivered to you as a gesture of thanks after you had...well...you can imagine what they think."
"That is absolutely outrageous!" Margaret cried.
"Do lower your voice, Miss Seward. Any hint of excitement on your part will do nothing but appear to confirm this rumor."
"I received flowers, but they weren't from Jeremy," I said.
"They say that you prominently displayed the card he sent on the center of your mantelpiece."
I could not speak. This was beyond awful, more terrible than I could have imagined. People might talk and criticize me for indulging in a romantic flirtation with no intention of marrying Jeremy, but if they believed that the relationship had progressed to an actual affair, and that we were so foolish as to not be discreet — that could ruin me.
"I won't stand for this," Margaret said. "We have to do something."
"There's very little we can do," Lady Elinor said. Ivy looked back over her shoulder, her face full of questions. "The duke has of course denied it, but no one would expect a gentleman to do anything else."
"So Emily is to sit here and allow this trash to fester? No. Not acceptable."
"You could perhaps go abroad, let the scandal die down."
"That would be tantamount to admitting guilt," I said. "I shan't do that."
"I see your point, but I do hate the thought of your being subjected to all this," Lady Elinor said. "I'm afraid that Lady Frideswide has been particularly vocal about you."
"I suppose that shouldn't come as a surprise," I said.
"This is my fault," Margaret said. "I've taken advantage of your generosity, Emily." She turned to Lady Elinor. "Mrs. Taylor and my mother won't give me a moment of peace. They hover over me mercilessly when Jeremy calls. Emily's kind enough to let me meet him at her house, and this is the thanks she gets."
"Hush, Miss Seward. Telling people that Emily allowed you to have inappropriate interactions with the duke will not help her reputation."
"I didn't say she let us do anything inappropriate."
"No, but that would be implied, wouldn't it, after you say that your chaperones are too severe and that meeting at Emily's house is an improvement?"
"I hadn't considered that," Margaret said, and fell silent.
"Isabelle, come back, dear," Lady Elinor called. "I want the three of you to walk with us for a bit. It will do you good to be seen in company, Emily."
Ivy did not ask what had happened but drew my arm through hers as we walked. No one whom we encountered would meet my eyes.
Following Lady Elinor's advice, we spent three quarters of an hour meandering through the park. Not a single acquaintance offered me more than the most basic courtesy, but at least no one save Lady Elliott cut me. Still, I was thoroughly disheartened when my friends and I returned to the library at Berkeley Square.
"I don't care what Lady Elinor says," Margaret said. "I blame myself entirely for this."
"Don't, Margaret," I said, letting my head fall against the back of my chair, eyes focused on the ceiling.
"How could anyone think such things about you?" Ivy asked. We had waited until we reached my house to tell her the story; she was horrified. "What will you do? What will Colin say?"
"Colin is the last person we need to worry about," Margaret said.
"I don't agree," Ivy said. "Colin matters more than anything."
"Please! I can't have the two of you arguing." I wished I could loosen my corset. "Colin will know it's all nonsense. As for the rest of society, there's nothing to be done. I shall have to sit out until the scandal blows over."
"You can't be serious," Margaret said. "You need to fight back."
"It won't do any good to make a spectacle of yourself, Emily," Ivy said.
"Fine. Then come to Oxford with me. Or go to Bryn Mawr. University life would suit you."
"Thank you, Margaret, but I don't think so. I'd rather stay and face this than run from it."
"You must think carefully about what will be the best way to approach this," Ivy said. "You don't want to lose your position."
"Her position?" Margaret slammed her hand on the table that stood next to her chair. "I hardly think that her position —"
"I don't think you fully understand the situation, Margaret. Emily is in danger of losing everything if she does not carefully consider how to best reconcile herself in society. Perhaps you could host a dinner party, Emily. Your parents would, of course, come, and you can count on Robert and me. A royal guest would work wonders for your reputation. Colin's with Bertie so often these days because of Mr. Berry, and your mother's friends with Princess Alix — "
"You can't be suggesting that hosting the Prince of Wales, a notorious profligate, is going to improve Emily's situation."
"I am well aware of the prince's flaws, Margaret, but you know that people are more than willing to overlook them," Ivy said.
"Can you bear this hypocrisy, Emily? You are falsely accused of having an affair. To save yourself, you should invite to dinner a man with more mistresses than sense."
"There's no need to insult the prince," Ivy said.
"You can't agree with this nonsense!" Margaret exclaimed, turning to me.
"That's quite enough, both of you." I rubbed my temples. "I shall have to figure this out on my own."
"You could marry Colin," Ivy said. "All these problems would disappear."
"Marriage does not make problems disappear," Margaret said.
"I'm not about to marry Colin simply to save my reputation."
"That wouldn't be the only reason for doing it, but perhaps it's the push you need to finally make a decision."
I was appalled to hear my friend say this. "Is that how you feel? That I need to finally make a decision?"
"Oh, Emily, no, I just —" She stopped. "I've never wanted anything but your happiness."
"When will you understand that her happiness does not depend on finding a husband?"
"Margaret, don't," I said.
"I'm not advocating husbands in general, just Colin in particular," Ivy said. Margaret rolled her eyes, and I was too tired to continue the argument. "I'm going home. I'm sorry, Emily, I wasn't trying to upset you."
"I know." I embraced her.
"Send for me if there's anything I can do," she said, then left us. Margaret watched her go, a look of supreme dissatisfaction on her face.
"Does she really consider husbands a panacea?"
"I don't know, Margaret," I said, thinking about the strife in Ivy's marriage.
"I like her very much, Emily, but I can't help but wonder if you've outgrown her friendship."
I'm ashamed to admit that I said nothing in defense of my dear friend.
Colin came to me that night, in evening kit, astonishingly handsome. His eyes were all seriousness as he dispensed with the usual greetings and refused to hand Davis his top hat, silk scarf, and walking stick. "Change your dress. We're going to the opera."
"It's lovely to see you, too," I said.
"We've no time, Emily. I don't want to be late." His voice had taken on the calm tone it always did in situations of extreme gravity. I did not question him. Meg dressed me as quickly as possible, lamenting all the while that she did not have time to do my hair justice. Despite her frustrations, she managed to work such a miracle that I do believe Colin's breath caught in his throat as he watched me descend the staircase into the hall.