Bubu shook his head. "At first I thought this, as well. I assumed the villains here had learned of the departure of Master Chiun and were hoping to attack before his return. I made haste back to my village only to find things as I left them. The helicopters from Bachsburg were not flying there, but to the evil city at the edge of Luzuland." The native nodded to the Master of Sinanju. "Master Chiun saw it on our way to the Luzu treasury."
"It is a small settlement," Chiun interjected.
"There are a few dozen homes, as well as one very large building."
Bubu nodded eagerly. "I led an expedition to the hills above this place. Many of the helicopters were there, as was the fiend Mandobar."
This got Remo's attention. "Mandobar?" he asked sharply. "Isn't he still in China?"
"The husband," Bubu stressed. "Not his wife, Nellie. She is bringing many of the evil chiefs to her right now."
Remo scrunched up his face. "Nellie Mandobar? I thought she faded away once Willie ditched her."
"No. She is here. Many are loyal to her still. The men from the helicopters embraced her."
In an instant, it all made sense.
"Nellie Mandobar," Remo said, nodding. "That's why he could be away now. He doesn't have anything to do with it."
And in a very quiet part of himself, Remo felt relief. He was glad that a man who was a hero to so many people wasn't involved in something so sinister.
"This does not make sense," the Master of Sinanju said. "Why would this female plot the destruction of this city only to remove her victims from it beforehand?"
"She doesn't know about it," Remo explained. "Caving in Bachsburg was a side scheme Deferens cooked up. And speaking of Casper the GQ Ghost..."
Spinning, he hurried into the hallway. Chiun and Bubu followed, the Luzu jogging to keep up. Marching down four doors, Remo entered the suite. When they crossed to the bedroom, they found the sleeping form of Minister L. Vas Deferens stretched out on the sheets.
"This is where you hid him?" Chiun scowled.
"I'm getting slicker in my old age." Remo grinned.
Reaching down, he tapped one knuckle against the minister's forehead. The pale man's eyes sprang open wide.
"Wakey-wakey," Remo said.
It took Deferens a moment to get oriented. When he did, panic set in. "Where am I?" he demanded, jumping to a sitting position, "What time is it?"
"Bachsburg, premidnight," Remo said. "And unless your shorts are lead-lined, you've got some bombs to deactivate."
"We were in ...my office," Deferens said as he looked around the hotel room in amazement. Remo's words brought his wandering mind back into focus. "The bombs," he gasped. "What time is it right now?"
"Almost seven."
"Seven? But they are going to go off at midnight!"
"So you'll have to work extra fast," Remo said sweetly.
"No, no, no," Deferens insisted. "We have to get out of here."
When he tried to push his way past the trio, Bubu stepped forward to stop him. A bony hand got there first.
Chiun flung Deferens back to the bed.
"How long will it take to pull the plug on all of them?" Remo pressed.
"What? No! We have to-"
He gasped in pain as a pair of talonlike fingernails squeezed the fleshy part of his earlobe.
"Four hours," Deferens yelped. "Five if traffic is bad."
"Let's hope the lights are with us, Little Father," Remo said as Chiun released his grip on the minister's ear.
He spun to face Deferens. "This is just for my benefit, but Willie Mandobar doesn't know anything about all this, right?"
"That senile old mooka?" Deferens scoffed "He and Kmpali are fools. I engineered it all beneath their very noses."
"So it was all Nellie's idea?"
His hesitation was precursor to a lie. But when a long-nailed hand appeared before him, the truth spilled forth.
"I told you before, she knows nothing of the bombs," he insisted.
"You knew it was her before?" Chiun demanded of Remo.
"Hey, he said Mandobar. So sue me for not pinning him down on a gender."
"She came to me with the crime-capital idea when her husband was still in office," Deferens continued. "I crafted it. She considers herself a leader, but she is nothing more than a homicidal maniac."
"Not like you," Remo said, his tone flat.
"I was killing for a purpose," he spit. "That fat mooka sets fire to people for sport."
"Dead's dead," Remo said thinly. "How many bombs we looking at?"
Deferens didn't even try to bluff. "Six," he admitted glumly.
"I'm no nuke expert, but that sounds like overkill to me," Remo said. "Not that any of the guys you wanted to off are even in town anymore."
"What do you mean?" Deferens asked.
"Your mistress has taken them to her city outside Luzuland," the Master of Sinanju intoned.
"City?" Deferens frowned. "What city?" Sensing truth from him, both Masters of Sinanju exchanged a quick glance.
"Guess she doesn't tell you everything, white man," Remo said. "Shake a leg." He dragged Deferens up by the arm.
"Wait!" the defense minister insisted. His eyes were calculating. "If this is true..." He looked to Remo. "May I make a phone call?"
"Um, let me think. No," Remo said. He began hauling the minister to the door.
"It could help you!" Deferens cried. "If you wish to know what she is doing, I can find out!"
Remo stopped. When he looked to the Master of Sinanju, the old man nodded.
"Chief Batubizee would no doubt be curious to know why she is there," Chiun said.
Sighing, Remo scooped up the phone and tossed it to Deferens. "Knock yourself out," he said. "But make it quick. 'Cause if we're late, anyone sitting on the john at midnight's gonna get a nuclear-powered prostate exam."
Chapter 31
"Where have you been?" Nellie Mandobar demanded.
She was in her office at the great meeting hall in her bungalow village. The noise of a raucous party pounded in through the vibrating walls. Her dark, blubbery face was bunched into an angry knot.
"I was unavoidably detained," the precise voice of L. Vas Deferens said, his words faint over the phone. They were nearly drowned out by the nearby revelry. The Seasonings were screeching absurd lyrics at their captive audience.
"This is a very important day," Nellie Mandobar warned. "You have disappointed me greatly, Deferens." Her words were slurred. She raised a big glass of frothy pink liquid to her lips.
"Why did you not tell me of this village near Luzuland?" Deferens asked, agitated.
When she lowered her fruit-filled drink, the smile behind it was pleased. Deferens always considered himself so superior. Even to her. Nellie was delighted that she had been able to keep a secret from him.
"I must have some secrets, Vas," She giggled, then hiccuped as she again raised her drink. Some of the pink liquid sloshed over the edge of her glass, landing with fat splats on her desk.
"You are bringing the dignitaries there?"
She nodded to her empty office. When her fruit hat dropped in front of her eyes, she shoved it back in place.
"Most are here. Only a few have yet to arrive. It is a party, Vas. To celebrate our great enterprise." She raised her glass in a toast. Beyond the wall, the Seasonings ended their song. The walls resumed their rattling protest when an even more discordant bashing of instruments began. The women sounded as if they'd each swallowed whole a pair of squabbling cats.
"I should have been informed," Deferens insisted.
"You would have been if you were in your office today. But I will not be angry at you, Vas. You have been very helpful to me. You stood by me even when that husband of mine deserted me. And for what did he leave? A few burned nobodies." She pondered the popping pink bubbles in her drink. "As East Africa's first lady, I told him I should be allowed to set fire to whomever I wish, but he would not hear it." A dark finger stabbed a mound of foam, bringing it to her broad lips. "Willie is a coward. But I've shown him, haven't I?" She licked the foam viciously away.