He looked at us as if he were reading our minds. He peered down at us like an inquisitor. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. Was he daring us to speak? What did he want us to do?
Another trainee stood up then, cautiously. Foreman whirled to face her. "No! Don't stand up now. It's too late. Now you're doing it because you know what the right answer is. That's being a robot again. Listen, I don't do this course for robots!
"I asked you if you were willing. I didn't say it was wrong to be unwilling. If you're unwilling, then that's what you are: unwilling. The point is, if you are unwilling, then why are you here? You need to look and see what you've got going on about why you're here and why you're doing this course. Are you doing this course to look good? Because it's the right thing to do? Because it will make you somehow superior to the people around you, or give you an advantage? That's your survival mode talking. Those are the wrong reasons to be here, because this course has nothing to do with survival. It's about something beyond mere survival. No, I'm not going to explain that yet; because most of you are still tied up in survival mode and until we bust your investment in survival, we can't talk about anything but survival."
Foreman stepped down from the platform then and began to walk among us. He lowered his voice and spoke to us like a friend.
"The fact of the matter is that all of you are willing to do The Survival Process. You indicated that by walking into the room this morning. You made that commitment when you said you would stay with this course until it was completed.
"The point of this little demonstration was to give you some sense of how you, as a group, are approaching this course. I wanted you to see how you express your willingness. You see, some of you still aren't here; your bodies are here, but in your heads, you've still got one foot out the door-and we cannot go on until that's handled.
"It's very clear that some of you have figured out how to survive this course. You're going to sit in your seats and not call attention to yourselves. You're going to endure whatever you have to until it's over, and that's how you'll survive. That's what you're up to-survival. That's the highest expression of your humanity. Survival. And that's all that can be expected of you. Each and every one of you expresses it in a different way, but right now, this minute, the only thing we can count on you to do is whatever is necessary to guarantee your survival or the survival of those things you have a significant investment of identity in.
"Let me explain that. Some of you might sacrifice your lives for the survival of your wives or husbands or children; but that's still survival. It's the survival of your family. Some of you might sacrifice yourself for your country or your flag. That's survival of the country, or the flag. I'm not making any judgments here. It's neither right nor wrong; it's only survival. Some of you in this room might even sacrifice yourselves for the survival of the species. And that's still survival. It's all survival. It's only survival. You will fight for the survival of anything that you have invested your identity in.
"Let me show you something. Everybody sit down." He waited until we had resumed our seats. "I say that you have a significant investment in survival. I'm not making a judgment about this. It's not right or wrong. It's just an observation. I say that you have a significant investment in survival. Now, if that's true for you, stand up. If you've got a lot of attention on surviving this course, stand up."
At least three hundred of us stood up. Maybe more. A few of us exchanged embarrassed smiles. There was even a little nervous laughter in the room.
"Good," laughed Foreman. He looked around the room. "These are the courageous cowards: They know how bad it's going to be, so they'll jump in to get the worst of it over with quickly." He looked out over the group. "Anyone want to join the courageous cowards? Where are the hiders? Those of you who know you belong in this category, but you don't want to stand up yet?"
About two dozen people stood up to join us.
"You want to notice here that the hiders hide because they think that's the way to survive. They think that when the shit hits the fan, they can hide and it'll miss them. Too bad. In this course, the hiders always get the worst of it. You have all been warned." There was friendly laughter in the room. The mood was getting lighter now.
"All right. Now, those of you who are lying about it-you know you should be standing, but you're not-you stand up. Good. "
A few more people stood up. They looked embarrassed. More good-natured giggling.
"You want to notice that these are the people who think they have to lie to survive. Ladies especially take note. These men are very poor marriage risks. You men, you want to watch out for these ladies. No, don't sit down. I'm not through.
"Anyone who isn't sure, stand up. I promise you, you're worrying about your survival too. Your way to deal with the issue is to worry about it. It lets you look responsible without having to take a stand. Go ahead, stand up."
There were only a dozen people left sitting.
"Now, I want you all to notice the ones who are still sitting," Foreman said. "They're the ones who claim they don't have any energy invested in surviving. That's called a position. They have a lot of survival invested in that position. These are the holdouts. They don't participate. That's their way of participating. That's their way of surviving.
"So, let me tell you what you think survival is, so you can recognize it. You think survival is being right. You think survival is looking good. You think survival is doing the right thing. Everybody sit down." Foreman waved us back down into our seats. "Listen, this is the point of The Survival Process. You will do whatever you think you have to do-whatever that is-to survive. Let me say that again. You will do whatever you think you have to do to survive. In fact, that's all you can do. You can't do anything that isn't a function of survival.
"So, let's discuss that for a bit; I can see that some of you don't agree with that. Good. That's fine. I'm not going to ask you to agree with it or disagree with it. We're just going to look at it and see if it's true. If it's true, it doesn't matter whether we agree with it or not, does it?" Again the grin. I wanted to check and see if there was a trap door under my chair. Or an exploding whoopee cushion.
"All right . . . we'll start with biology. Any biologists in the room?"
I raised my hand. So did several others.
"Good. You should already know this. Let me work with someone who doesn't. Any nonbiologists here?"
More hands. He pointed at a Latino man. "You. Delgado. What is the most important thing a living creature must do?" "Reproduce?"
"That's part of it, but that's not all of it. What's the most important thing a living creature must do?"
"Eat?"
"You're guessing. Stop trying to figure it out. Someone else? What's the most important thing a living creature must do?" He pointed at a young woman.
She stood up. "Survive."
"Right. See, sometimes the answers are easy. If a creature doesn't survive, it can't do anything else, can it? Without survival, there isn't anything. You all know that; if not consciously, you certainly know it viscerally. You definitely know it on a cellular level. Every single cell of your body has only one single purpose-to survive. It is the fundamental law of biology. "
Of course. I knew that. Tell me something I don't know. I folded my arms and leaned back in my chair.
Foreman stepped up the aisle to come face to face with the young woman. Her name was Ozalie. Her hair was a crown of shiny black curls that fell in ringlets about her face. She looked like a little girl. "Okay, now it gets hard. What's the purpose of life?"
" U h."
"I said the purpose, not the meaning."