The baby looked up confused. I felt my heart sink. This baby meant so much to everybody. It wasn't going to eat.
The baby turned back and stared at the meat for a long, long moment. "Chrrrrppppp," it said.
Please, I prayed. Eat.
The baby opened its mouth and slowly engulfed the meatball. It chewed softly, almost ruminatively-Jason and I held our breaths-then it looked up at both of us and said, "Brup?" Jason and I exchanged triumphant looks! The baby was going to make it.
Excitedly, Jason broke off another chunk of meat and rolled it into a bigger ball. The baby watched with interest as he put it down on the floor.
This time, the baby didn't hesitate as long. It tapped the meatball twice with its antennae, just to check; then pounced on the gobbet and ate it quickly. "Brrpity?"
Jason split the rest of the meat into three lumps and put them out on the floor. The baby moved from one to the next and ate each of them with enthusiasm.
"He's going to make it," Jason said proudly. "We really are a family now. There's a lot of work to do, but we're on our way now, Jim." He looked to me. "Thank you. You've made an incredible difference, just being here. This is an historic moment, you know. You'll be sharing this with people for years." He wiped his hands on a towel, then began wiping down the baby again.
The baby grabbed one of Jason's fingers and tapped it curiously with its antennae. "Frrp?" it asked. It pulled Jason's hand toward its mouth.
Jason freed his finger gently. "No," he said. "No. Not frrp, or anything else." He said to me. "You'd better go now, Jim. There'll be a lot to do to get ready for tonight. And I need to stay here until then."
I went back to the camp feeling curiously jubilant. I made a difference. Jason said so.
21
The Revelation
"A man of God should be identifiable as a man of God in spite of his religion, not because of it."
-SOLOMON SHORT
A circle of torches obliterated the night. Orange flames sent gray smoke sputtering into the air high above our heads. The breeze pulled the flames sideways. There was no moon. There was no world. Beyond the circle, nothing existed.
We gathered outside the circle and waited.
Jason moved among us, greeting each one of us with a hug and a kiss. He spoke quietly to each person. When he came to me, he looked into my eyes and said, "Thank you, Jim. I'm glad you're here with us tonight. We love you." And then he added, "I love you."
I lowered my eyes, I couldn't meet his gaze-he was too beautiful to look at-but he tilted my chin upward and forced me to look at him. "Let it in, Jim. You are loved. You make a difference." He stared into my face until tears of joy and gratitude welled up in my eyes. I hugged him and kissed him and thanked him for letting me participate.
Jason stood before us then. He still hadn't stepped into the circle. He said, "For those of you who have not been to a Revelation before, I welcome you. For those of you who have, I welcome you back.
"All that you need to know tonight is that every Revelation is a different experience. If you have never celebrated the Revelation before, there is no wrong way to celebrate. If you have, then you also know that there is no right way to celebrate.
"The form of every Revelation is different-except when it's not. But regardless whether the form seems the same or different, comparison is a trap. Every Revelation is a different experience, no matter how many times you have celebrated. Tonight will be the same, and it will be different.
"What you see before you is a circle of light. We are going to create this as a sacred circle. What will make it sacred? Our agreement that it is so. If you are not willing to hold this circle as sacred, then do not enter it. If you are not willing to celebrate the Revelation then do not enter here. If you are not willing to commit yourself to the truth, then do not enter here. If you are not willing to experience yourself as the source, then do not enter here.
"If you are not willing to give up your expectations, then do not enter here.
"Tonight may be joyous. It may not. It may equally be despairing. Tonight may be intense. And it may not. Whatever expectations you have, leave them behind. What happens here will not meet your expectations.
"The space is fragile. And it is powerful. We, each and every one of us, must take responsibility for the creation of the space. We must leave behind our worldly concerns. We must leave behind all things that are not extraordinary. That includes the world of thoughts and concepts. We must leave those behind. Experience is not found in thought or concept. Joyousness is not found in explanation. We must leave that behind."
He raised his hands high. I became aware that Orrie and Falstaff and Orson were sitting quietly beyond the fringes of the crowd. "I will ask the new gods to protect the space tonight. I will be re5ponsible for the space inside the circle. I ask the new gods to be responsible for the space outside. Let no one violate the sanctity of our Revelation."
Orrie chirruped a low rumble. The other worms agreed with him.
Jason lowered his hands. His tone was immediately conversational. "I say this to you in the clear. No matter what happens tonight in the circle, do not leave it. Once the celebration begins, no one will enter the circle and no one will leave it. The circle is sacred. It must not be broken. The new gods do not protect us-they protect the circle. The new gods will kill anyone who crosses the circle of light. That is their agreement. It will be your 'crossesDo not break the agreement.
"If you damage the integrity of the space, you will destroy it. This space is too fragile-and it is too powerful. If you damage a space of this much power, the consequences could be dreadful. The physical universe will strike back. The physical universe always attacks where integrity is weakest. Understand this. You must not enter here unless you are willing to operate in a space of total, unconditional, absolute integrity. Look for yourself now and see if you are willing.
"When you step into this circle, let yourself step into a space of pure joyousness and absolute truth. When you step into this circle, you step beyond the universe, so that you may look back and observe. That is the declaration we make tonight.
"This circle is sacred because we say it is. So, before you can enter here, you must leave behind the ordinary. You must commit to the extraordinary. You must be willing to live tonight as if this will be your last night on the planet. It is possible for some of you that it will be your last night. People have died celebrating the Revelation.
"That willingness to live on the edge of death-that is the extraordinary level.
"If you are not willing to die, then do not enter here.
"It is neither right nor wrong to participate. It is a gift and an opportunity. If you are not willing to be responsible for yourself and your participation, then do not enter here.
"If it is not appropriate for you to be here, then do not be here. Now is the moment to stand aside." He waited. We waited. We looked around.
"There is no shame in walking away," Jason said. "Look and see inside yourself if it is appropriate for you to celebrate tonight." I wondered if I should stay.
One of the older men abruptly turned and walked away from the gathering. A moment later, a sad-looking lady followed him. They stopped a few paces and looked back.
Jason acknowledged the two with a nod, then he looked us over und said, "I know that there are those among you who are wondering now if you should leave too. I do not ask you to be certain. I only ask you to be willing. So if you are willing to be here, stay and participate." That was what I needed to hear. Jason continued, "But be clear: once you are in the circle, you are in the circle until the Revelation is complete. You cannot quit in the middle of a Revelation."