She looked at her watch.
“Oh, my God. Omigod! Get up, get up, get up!” She leaped out of bed as if the sheets were on fire-and they almost had been, she reflected.
“Loretta. What-”
“Zara’s bus will be here any minute!”
Thank God he caught on without her having to explain. He scrambled quickly and yanked on clothes. This mad dash was not the way she would have wished to end her interlude with Luc, but it couldn’t be helped. She was not prepared to explain to Zara why Luc was lounging around in her bed with no clothes.
Loretta pulled the covers up over the bed while Luc replaced the ruffly throw pillows their passion had dislodged. She spritzed a bit of perfume around the room, though Zara didn’t normally come into Loretta’s room until evening, when they cuddled in the big bed to read together.
Then Loretta dashed into the master bath to freshen up as best she could. She almost cried when she saw herself in the mirror. She did not look like a responsible mother/businesswoman. She looked like a wanton slut.
She fluffed up her hair, put on a smear of lip gloss-despite her panic, her vanity hadn’t completely deserted her-then emerged to find Luc fully dressed, leaning one shoulder against the door frame with his arms folded, watching her with a trace of amusement.
“You do think I’m funny,” she accused him.
He straightened, walked up to her and kissed her soundly. “I told you, I just enjoy everything about you. I suspected there might be a very passionate, sensual woman beneath that homey little bread-baker you present to the world, and I was right.”
They returned to the bakery, and Loretta reversed the Closed sign to Open just as the bus pulled up at the corner and Zara hopped off. She looked around curiously, probably wondering why her mother wasn’t there with her schoolmates’ bread orders, then shrugged and headed for the house, dragging her heavy backpack.
“I’ll call you later,” Luc said. She could tell he wanted to kiss her again, but he resisted. She wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to call, that she’d gone to bed with him without any expectations or promises. But truth be told, she wasn’t quite that modern. She wanted there to be something between them.
How scary was that?
“We need to talk about the Cajun dinner,” she said, then wanted to curse herself. Now he would think she was trying to eradicate what they’d done.
He grinned. “Of course we do.” And he pushed his way out the door just as Zara was about to enter. She stopped short, surprised. Then a huge smile spread across her face. “Hi, Luc! Are you leaving?”
Luc gave Zara’s pigtail a gentle pull. “I have to run, gorgeous. Next time I visit, maybe you can play your fiddle for me.”
“I’m not good enough yet!” she objected, though Loretta knew otherwise. The piece Zara planned to play at the festival was coming along nicely. She was a fast learner and practiced with the dedication and intensity of a true artist.
“When you’re ready, then.” And he was gone.
Loretta realized she was staring after Luc’s car, lost in thought, when Zara tugged on her shirt. “Mama. Can I have a snack?”
“Of course you may, sweetheart. How was school?”
“Good. I got a hundred on my spelling and Mrs. Brainard let me feed Mr. Chuzzlewit.” Mr. Chuzzlewit was the class mascot, a large, lop-eared rabbit.
“Excellent.”
“Mama, where are your shoes?”
Loretta looked down, surprised to see her bare toes peeking out from the hem of her jeans. “Oh. I guess I took them off a while ago and forgot to put them back on.”
“Better not let that health inspector see you barefoot in here.”
“I’ll go put my shoes on right now.” Goodness, she really was rattled. While Zara fixed her own snack, Loretta disappeared back into the house, pausing in her bedroom to hug herself. She shouldn’t feel so happy. She’d made a stupid decision to make love with Luc. They weren’t even dating. And to completely forget about birth control…
But even that couldn’t dull her feelings of elation. Sometimes a girl just had to do something crazy that was totally, completely for herself, and damn the consequences.
She hunted for her shoes and socks, finally locating a sock hooked on one of the bedposts. My, she had been in a hurry to get undressed. She grinned as she pulled it down and sat on the edge of the bed to put it on.
“Mama?”
Loretta jumped a foot. Zara stood in the doorway. “Yes, sweetheart?”
“I can’t find the peanut butter, and why was Luc here?”
“Oh, rats, we’re out of peanut butter. I meant to get to the store today, but things got so crazy. That’s why Luc was here. I had a little fire in my oven because the chimney was stopped up. And you’ll never believe what was up there.” She told Zara the story as they returned to the bakery and scrounged up some crackers, cream cheese and a persimmon for a snack.
Zara laughed at the picture her mother painted of the frantic raccoon climbing over Luc to make its escape and Luc falling off the roof.
But then she turned serious. “Why didn’t you call Granddaddy?”
“I was already on the phone with Luc when all the black smoke came pouring out of the oven. He jumped in his car and raced over here to help.”
“That was nice of him.”
“Luc is a very good man. We’re lucky he chose to move to Indigo.” She sneaked a cracker off Zara’s plate and nibbled on it, then decided to make herself a real snack. She was starving. She supposed hot sex could burn up a few calories.
“Mama?” Zara said. She sounded as if she were in a question-asking mood, and Loretta had to be prepared for anything. Last week, she’d asked Loretta to explain what an STD was.
“What is it, sweetheart?”
“I think you and Luc should get married.”
“Oh, do you now?” Loretta tried to sound casual, but her heart was pounding in her ears. Had Zara seen something, sensed something? Did she know?
“My friends all think you’re a lesbian.”
“What? Zara, do you even know what a lesbian is?”
“Yes, Mother,” she said in that impatient way she adopted whenever Loretta underestimated her intelligence. “It’s a lady who likes other ladies instead of men. And, let’s face it, Mama, you don’t even go out on dates with men.”
Great. Her nine-year-old daughter was giving her relationship counseling. “Zara, for the record, I do like men. But who has time to date? Besides, we have it pretty good, don’t we? Just us girls?” Zara had given her the perfect opportunity to introduce the idea of Loretta having a relationship with a man. In fact, she was encouraging it. But the idea terrified Loretta.
She was used to her lifestyle. Comfortable. Although it sure hadn’t taken very much encouragement on Luc’s part to get her thinking about making some pretty big changes.
“It’s just that I want…” She sighed. “Oh, never mind.”
“Is this about having a dad?” Again?
Zara’s eyes filled with tears. “I want a dad. The Girl Explorers are planning a father-daughter hike and cookout, and I’m the only one who doesn’t have a dad. Katie Zelleger said she would share her dad with me, but it’s not the same.”
Loretta’s heart went out to her little girl. She had no idea what it felt like to grow up without a father, because her own parents had been so loving, so supportive and always there for her.
“I bet your grandfather would go with you,” Loretta said brightly.
Zara gave a halfhearted smile. “Yeah, I’ll ask him. But a real dad would be better. And Luc would be a good dad. And you like him, and he likes you. I can tell these things.”