What was wrong with her? The only two men she’d ever been strongly attracted to were criminals. Did she have some self-destructive streak?
And Zara! She’d had to accept that her father was a criminal, and now Luc.
They didn’t give guys with too many traffic tickets a probation officer. Luc must have done something awful, something unspeakable. How had he fooled her? Why had she trusted him?
Loretta beat and twisted one of her feather pillows until it was an unrecognizable knot. Luc hadn’t fooled just her. He’d taken in the whole town with his good-guy act, ingratiating himself into the community, volunteering to help with the music festival. Didn’t he have an obligation to tell them what he really was?
Her instincts had warned her to stay away from him, with his easy charm and his mysterious past. She should have listened to them.
Disillusioned, Loretta gave herself an hour to mourn the loss of her short-lived romance. Then she got up, pulled herself together, washed her face and put some gel in her hair, spiking it severely, telling the world to go to hell. She had to open the bakery before someone noticed she’d been closed for an extended period and started to worry about her.
She looked awful. Her nose was red and her eyes puffy. But at least she was done crying for the moment. She fixed herself a cup of hot tea and warmed up one of her favorite, butter-laden cinnamon rolls. Then she tackled her list of tasks for the music festival.
Every person she talked to asked if something was wrong, even people who didn’t know her. She claimed she was coming down with a cold to explain her stuffy nose and scratchy-sounding voice.
At three o’clock she realized she had orders for Zara’s schoolmates to package, and the bus would be around in half an hour. She zoomed around the bakery and managed to pull everything together just in time.
Della Roy stepped down from behind the wheel of her bus and handed Loretta five checks and a bundle of cash, trading the payments for six labeled bakery bags. “Loretta, you look awful,” she said. “I mean, gorgeous as always, but kind of puffy.”
“Cold,” Loretta mumbled.
Zara tumbled off the bus, studying her mother carefully. “Mama, you do look funny.”
“I know, sweetie. Thank you, Della. I included some snickerdoodles this time. Let me know if you like them.”
“Will do. Take care of yourself.”
The bus pulled away, and Zara took Loretta’s hand as they walked back to the bakery. She asked for a snack, and Loretta silently cut up an apple.
“Mama, what’s wrong?”
Loretta pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. Yet another horror-breaking the news to Zara that they would not have anything further to do with Luc Carter.
Although she didn’t believe in lying to children, she didn’t have the fortitude right now to deal with her daughter’s questions, which she would surely have when she learned the new state of things. “I told you, I’m not feeling well.”
“Did you take some medicine?”
“I’ll be fine, honey. Don’t worry.”
“You could go see Doc. He could give you a shot.”
Doc no doubt knew everything that was going on with Luc. He’d been spending time at the B and B almost every day since it opened. And yet he’d allowed Luc to hang out with Loretta and Zara, knowing their history.
Loretta had known Doc her whole life and thought he had better judgment than that. Then again, maybe Luc had fooled Doc, too. He was very good.
“I’m fine, Zara,” she assured her daughter again. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m the mom, you’re the little girl. I get to worry. You don’t have to.”
“I can’t help it.”
She sighed, set Zara’s snack down and joined her at the table. “I know, sweetie. You’re a very caring and concerned person, and that’s good. But you’ll have plenty of chances to worry when you grow up. I just want you to enjoy being a little girl.”
“I’d rather be a grown-up,” she said candidly. “Then no one could tell me what to do.”
“I’ll tell you a secret,” Loretta said. “Sometimes, when you’re grown up, you wish someone would tell you what to do.” If some wise person had been looking after Loretta’s interests, maybe they would have told her to be more careful when it came to giving her heart away.
Her heart. No, it wasn’t that serious. She’d made love with Luc three times and gone out with him once, not counting the trip to New Orleans. She hadn’t had a chance to actually give him her heart. It was all physical at this point; it shouldn’t be that big a deal to walk away now.
But it was. She had to face the fact it was going to be hard as hell to get over this. She would have a difficult time ever trusting herself when it came to men. Maybe she was meant to be alone.
“My birthday’s coming up,” Zara said.
Thank God, a nice, safe topic of conversation. “That’s right, it’s less than a month away.” Loretta had been so fixated on the music festival-and Luc-that she hadn’t given Zara’s birthday a single thought. “Do you have any idea what you might like?”
“I have lots of ideas, but I think I want a fishing pole.”
“A fishing pole?” What happened to dolls, and stuffed animals, and all that girlie stuff Zara usually drooled over whenever they went to a toy store?
“For when I go fishing with Luc.”
“You’re not going fishing with Luc.” The words were out of Loretta’s mouth, sharp and final, before she had a chance to soften them.
Zara’s eyes widened. “But you said-”
“I’ve changed my mind. We really don’t know Luc well enough for you to go fishing with him.”
“But Kiki goes-”
“I don’t care what Kiki does.”
She expected Zara to run crying from the bakery, which was her usual reaction on those rare occasions when Loretta was sharp with her or denied her something she wanted badly. Instead, she studied her mother with unnerving intensity.
“You’re not being fair.”
“Life isn’t fair. And the sooner you learn that lesson, the better.”
Zara pushed her plate away. “Did you and Luc have a fight?”
Oh, why did her daughter have to be so perceptive? “I can’t talk about it, Zara. You’re going to have to take my word for it for now-Luc Carter is out of our lives.”
“Why?”
“You don’t need to know why. Just accept it.” No matter how angry she was with Luc and the secrets he’d kept from her, it wasn’t her place to reveal that he was a criminal. She remembered how painful it was years ago when news of Jim’s arrest for robbing a convenience store had spread all over town like wildfire.
Now Zara showed her temper. She pushed her chair back so hard she almost toppled it and stomped out of the bakery.
“Zara, take your backpack-”
But Zara ignored her. Loretta knew she shouldn’t allow her daughter to show her temper and act disrespectfully, but she was in no mood to correct her. She was still raw with her own anger, and she would probably just make things worse if she tried to talk to Zara now.
Luc was going to be a sticky subject for weeks to come-for Zara and for Loretta herself. Zara would bounce back, eventually. Loretta wasn’t sure if she ever would.
CELESTE PUTTERED AROUND her family’s old summer cottage, her mind awash with memories. She’d been a very different person as a young girl. Wealthy, very aware of her own beauty and the power and influence of her family, she’d enjoyed being the center of attention in her social circle.
A lot of young men had shown interest. The most passionate of them all, the one who’d challenged her the most, was Michel Landry. Although close to her own age, he’d seemed older somehow. More mature, more seasoned than so many of the boys she had dated. Perhaps it was the fact he hadn’t come from a privileged background. He’d had to work for a living from the time he was sixteen. He’d also served overseas during World War II, a fate many of her class avoided through various strategies. His years in the service had given him a certain maturity.