The strength of Jesso… Or else there would be no Jesso, she thought.
“Whose side are you on, anyway?” he said, and he was out of the chair now, standing before her so she could see his black shape against the sky.
She didn’t know what to answer and then he did it for her. “You’re on mine. That’s why you’re here and that’s why I’m keeping you.”
“Jesso,” she said. “Do you know why I’m here?”
He was listening.
“Johannes sent me.”
He still didn’t move.
“To make you talk, maybe to make you weak.”
Then she waited for whatever would come next, but his shape against the sky didn’t move for a long time. At first, the way it started out, she didn’t know what it was, but then it was Jesso laughing. He laughed so hard that when he stopped she didn’t know how he had done it. He moved and sat down again.
“That poor sonofabitch,” he said. “That stupid sonofabitch.” He laughed some more. He lit two cigarettes, gave one to her. “So that’s why you’re here.”
“No. That’s why I came.”
“You stayed because of Kator?”
“Because of you,” she said.
“You know he’s through with you, don’t you?”
And then Renette laughed, because what Jesso had said didn’t mean a thing any more. What meant something was the way she felt, the way she suddenly felt that she was through with Johannes. He was out of her fear, her need, and her hopes.
“Jesso,” she said, “I can forget Johannes.”
“Good for you. But I can’t. He’s crapped out before, but I won’t forget him till he craps out for good.”
“Forget him, Jesso.”
“Why? Because he’s your brother?”
She felt he needn’t have said that. It was nasty, the way Helmut might have done it. But Jesso needn’t have.
“I don’t understand you,” she said, because she didn’t.
“Don’t try. Just watch me forget him once I’m through with him. Pretty soon I’m going to be through with him.”
But she still thought of Johannes the way she had thought of in the past, so she didn’t see what Jesso meant, what he was up against. She herself was through with Johannes, not needing him any more, but not being concerned with him didn’t make him her enemy.
“What you said before, Jesso, about hiding. You mean we run, from now on, we keep running and hiding?”
“That’s a crazy way to put it. And maybe we won’t. Maybe Kator will drop dead.”
She didn’t think he would. She was through with him but he was as strong as ever.
After a while she threw her cigarette over the railing. “Jesso,” she said.
He sat still for a minute. Then he flipped his stub and watched it sail across the road.
“Jesso,” she said again.
He got up, took her arm, and they went inside together. Nothing had changed and she wanted him as before. So far, nothing had changed.
Chapter Sixteen
It stayed that way for two days, but after two days the dullness of the place started to get her and something was getting Jesso too. It felt unfinished. If he hadn’t been with Renette, it occurred to him, he might not have thought of waiting. He might have taken the train straight back, hit Kator in the head with his hundred thousand bucks, and asked for the rest of it. But there was Renette and it was just as well to let Kator sweat for a while-but not any more. He had Renette, and now, for the last time, Kator was going to pay.
They caught the once-a-day bus back to Bad Brunn and when they passed the white house with the balcony they laughed at each other because they both, for their reasons, were glad to go.
“And after Hannover, Jesso, let’s go to Carlsbad.”
“How about the Riviera?” he said.
“Or the Riviera.”
“Or we can hit out to Africa. I’ve never been in Africa. Maybe big-game hunting, or whatever you do in Africa.”
“I like the Riviera better,” she said. “I know people there. We can stay there as long as we want, Jesso. I have a small chalet in Menton, from Johannes, and many friends who-“
“They’ll keep. For a while we keep moving.”
“Where, Jesso?”
“Just move. Out of the way, for a while, until-”
“Jesso,” she said. “I don’t like places out of the way. Did you live out of the way?”
“Now and then.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just that. Now and then. The way I live, I gotta watch where I step, and that’s part of it.”
She smiled at him and for a moment it looked half like a frown, but then she shook her head and said, “It sounds too much like running, Jesso. I don’t run any more. I just look and see what I want.”
“What do you want?”
“You,” she said, and she gave him a kiss so that the peasant woman across the aisle made a movement as if she were thinking of crossing herself.
After the local from Bad Brunn they took the through train back to Hannover. They had a compartment and during the warm afternoon Renette slept. Jesso sat by and smoked. He had started to smoke too much. It had started right after deciding to go back to Kator, not to wait any more, because the longer he waited, the more unfinished the business was. He wished Renette would wake up and talk to him. About Kator, for instance. There were a lot of things he might learn about Kator.
He went to the club car, had a drink, and came back. Renette was awake. Her clothes were all over one seat and Jesso could hear the shower behind the door of the tiny bathroom. Then it stopped.
“Jesso?” she called.
“None but.”
“Dry me, Jesso.”
She came out as she was, holding her hair up.
“The big towel,” she said. “See it?”
He saw it. He got the towel and dried her.
“My back red yet?”
“Not yet.”
“Harder, Jesso.”
She turned for him and after a while she was dry. She lay down on the wall bed and after she stretched she said, “It feels good.”
“You look good.”
“So do you.”
“That’s because I’m dressed,” he said.
“No. Because I’m undressed,” she said, and when he started to get up and come to the bed she said, “No. Stay there, Jesso. Stay there a while longer.”
He sat down and grinned at her.
“Talk to me,” she said.
He played the game and talked.
“Nice weather,” he said. “Looks good on your thigh, that sun there.”
She moved her leg and smiled.
“Say something else. Just as brilliant.”
“Well, like Helmut would say, how about love?”
“Helmut would,” she said. “He always talks about love, one form or another.”
“How did that creep ever get to you, Renette?”
“He never did. We’re just married.”
“Was that another one of Kator’s plans?”
“Yes,” she said, and there was no feeling in it. “It worked, too.”
“What’s von Lohe got that Kator wants?”
“Position. A special kind of position. I don’t know if you knew it, but Johannes has a title, too. But it’s out of touch. Poor and very secluded. The von Lohes know a different set, the industrialists, the families who got rich under the Nazis.”
“Nice friends.”
She shrugged and stretched her arms over her head.
Jesso had a hard time listening right then.
“Not nice, but Kator needs them. And Helmut can help with the introductions. Like the Zimmer matter.”
“Who?”
“Zimmer. I thought you might know.”
“What’s Zimmer?”
“Oh, an industrial combine. One family runs it. They have holdings or plants all over the world, and that’s what interests Johannes.”
“In America too?”
“There too. Why are you interested?”
He thought he might be, but when she asked him she rolled on her stomach, which was a beautiful movement, and Jesso didn’t feel any interest in plants or Zimmers. He went over to the bed and ran his hand down her spine.
“Now I’m hungry,” she said, and she jumped up from the bed. He let her jump and watched her dress. There was time. She wanted to eat in the diner, and after that they sat in the club car instead of in the compartment, and that wasn’t bad either. Jesso had never seen her except alone or at von Lohe’s place, and she was good to watch anyplace. When they went back to the compartment it was almost dark, which was all right with Jesso, but as soon as he had the door shut the conductor came through the corridor calling something or other. He went by and kept calling.