"Hey anyway, Mr. Smith — "
"Miss Tomson will you join me for a drink."
"Can't. I'm with people."
"Just one, Miss Tomson."
"Can't get over it, isn't it rich, you right in here all the time and I didn't see you. No I really can't."
"You didn't collect your last pay check."
"Forget it, Mr. Smith. Hey you're derobing."
"Won't you join me ha ha, Miss Tomson."
"Ha ha, Smithy, since you put it like that, sure. Always willing to take off my clothes. But I can't stay. See down there. No you can't see. But see what you can see, the big blue shadow, that's my brother."
"Amazing shadow."
"Yesh."
"Waiter. Two derobers here."
"You catch on fast mister."
George had never been good at the fast remark. Miss Tomson brings that out. Must put up some sort of show. She's been amused down there with her brother and his socialites. She could easily slip back into that life. I'm so nervous. Just not made for making smart remarks. The waiter in his kind anticipation of a dp could see I was new at it. Let me get away without crushing me altogether. I have warm inner feelings which explode resoundingly at boiling point.
"Miss Tomson, I'm glad."
"What for Mr. Smith."
"I'm just glad"
"Mr. Smith what are you doing on this train."
"Just glad I took it."
"You can't be on a train because you're glad."
"What stop, Miss Tomson, are you for."
"The last. What's yours."
"The Junction. I take a branch line."
"All by yourself, Mr. Smith, on this train like this. I can't get over it. Guess you're seeing friends."
"Not exactly."
"You're a mystery."
"What do you mean Miss Tomson."
"Why don't you find yourself some nice girl."
"Are you suggesting Miss Tomson I just find some nice girl just like that."
"Sure just like that. Crazy for a man living alone not getting any."
"Miss Tomson-"
"And you could get plenty if you got rid of that Matilda, While she's in the house you won't get a smell. I don't mean to sort of go into your personal life or anything, you know what I mean Smithy. It's unnatural."
"What's natural, Miss Tomson."
"This is for your own good, Smithy, and you ought to know. That Matilda will suck you dry. Before you know it you'll be one of these guys running around to museums collecting brass monkeys and that kind of thing."
Miss Tomson had her mixer out. Waiter gave her a tray with hers. Must be the brilliant pile of blond on her head and the legs. And in this dim blue her hands look longer than anything F^e ever seen before. Her fingernails around the glass. A black sweater and pearls.
"You looking at these, Mr. Smith."
"Yes."
"Pearls."
"Nice."
"Real ones. Ought to be hanging right between here but I don't feel like being half naked on a night like this. I just can't get over seeing you all by yourself on this train. Guess that's all right. But Jesus you're taking the branch line as well. Come and meet my brother and his friends why don't you. Maybe you want to be alone. And I'm barging in."
"Miss Tomson, no."
"But you don't want to meet anybody do you."
"Are you coming back."
"You mean the office. I don't know, Mr. Smith, I just honestly don't know. I've been laying in bed late just thinking of it. And I bought a machine that wakes you up with music and pours out hot coffee. Boy you ought to get one. You know that's what you need, Smithy. Lacking a loving hand when you wake up."
"I suppose so. Miss Tomson does your machine spit and grumble."
"It's magic."
"Where did you buy your machine, Miss Tomson."
"It really was a present."
"O."
"I couldn't refuse it. On the floor outside my door in the dark. I tripped over it and broke the glass on the clock. And couldn't give it back. Now I don't want to give it back. The guy I gave the cheapest thrill he ever got to. That's who. You know all the while I'm working for you he had me watched. How do you like that. The nerve. My apartment's like a funeral parlour with all the flowers. I say to the boy, take them and give them to your mother sonny or your girl friend. You know what one little upstart says to me, I laughed, he said I like men. Smithy, can't get over this, running into you like this."
Miss Tomson's hand came down and for a second touched Smith's knee. The train slowing through a station. A strain of Christmas carol. Look out now in the night. Community singers with a Santa Claus ringing a bell. Soon see the lights of the dam and we'll be reaching the fountains all lit up and then it won't be long. Her eyes are even bigger than they seemed before. And lashes longer. Daren't ask where she got the great bracelet. Looks too much like something I might give her and I feel too much like the guy she gave the cheapest thrill he ever got to. The touch of the hand on the knee electrified me. The dam. Great granite face. And the gem like lake below. Lit up. People on the ice.
"Miss Tomson, they're skating down there."
"Isn't it beautiful. Love to be on that."
"You skate."
"On my ass mostly. Maybe you'll give me a lesson sometime. Say where you going on the branch line."
"Last stop."
"Just like us on the main line. But that ain't too far, last stop of the branch, from the last stop on the main. Ha ha, sounds like a song. Why don't you drive over."
"No car, Miss Tomson."
"Well, why don't we drive over to you."
If I told Miss Tomson die whole truth I suppose she'd understand* But I don't even know myself what the truth is. She's got such a good nature. If I let this chance go, it may be gone forever. It is gone forever. Miss Tomson's brother I see somehow on top of me in the snow, take this buster and it wouldn't be a straightforward manly type of defeat like I could feel some pride being prostrated by a fist, but I get the impression from his blue shadow that there would be snow rubbing in the face and my collar opened to stuff snow down my back. And of course the red underwear would excite him to visit even greater ignominy upon me. He may even carry a whip.
"What's the matter, Smithy, you've gone silent. You don't want us to drive over."
"Forgive me Miss Tomson, just suddenly lately my mind goes vague. I suppose it's a few problems I've got on it recently."
"We could go skating together. Unless of course you're all tied up."
"O no, I'm not tied up."
Roped with cables I guess would be more like it. But how can I explain. What do you do. Can't say let's take this train ride all over again some other time and just plan to meet by accident. With all the night air frosty and hand in hand walking the ice hard ground. Looking for some chalet in the woods. Find it by its curling smoke. A log cabin made for us to have our hot chocolate drink. Or lemon and honey. When I could just lean over and eat her breath.
"What's the matter Smithy. It's O.K., you don't have to say anything. Just a wild suggestion. I used to love these weekends, mad and crazy. But they don't thrill me any more. Just if you didn't have anything better to do, you might enjoy a skate, that's all."
"Miss Tomson, I'm not really such good company."
"You're swell company."
Station name flies by. Another cemetery. Not much time left. Why do they need a junction. Tearing two people apart. Where the tracks divide. She's never said that before, swell company. Bring marshmallows to the side of the pond. Could support her under the armpit to the ice. Permit me, Miss Tomson, to show you how. Could start off with a flashy backwards figure eight, last year did it twice in a row without thundering on my ass. Need only do it once. So many excuses for grabbing her. And of course both of us could thunder down together. Doesn't bear thinking about. Save she'll bring her brother who seems terribly the type who sweeps around the ice so fast you don't know he's there till he's laid you out unconscious with a collision.