“He knew?”
“The whole time.”
My legs were no longer able to support me; that final blow was too much for me to handle. I turned and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it. I sank down to the floor. I had no one. There was no place for me to go. I was stuck, like my song, on repeat.
My eyes danced over the shower and I was no longer able to resist the urge to show Derek the pain that he had inflicted upon me. Maybe if he saw the fresh wounds, maybe then he would understand how much he was putting me through.
Chapter Thirty-Three
ERIC
I PULLED MY PILLOW over my face as I tried to drown out the sound of the banging at my door. It came again and I threw the pillow toward the door, but it fell several feet short.
“I’m sleeping!” I yelled as I rolled over in my empty bed, hating whoever had pulled me from my dreams. It was the only time I could hold her in my arms now.
“Please . . .”
I sat up at the sound of Sarah’s voice. She was frantic. I rushed to the door, shrugging on my jeans as I pulled it open. She fell into my arms sobbing, her wet face against my chest. “What did he do? Did he hurt you?”
I pulled her back to examine her and realized that the wetness wasn’t only from her tears. Her arms were smeared with blood, and she shook her head as she kept repeating no. I was holding on to her shoulders so tightly I knew they would probably bruise, but I couldn’t bring myself to let her go.
“Tell me what he did.”
She looked at me, eyes wide and frightened.
“Tell me!” I yelled, but she couldn’t form words. I pushed around her and took off down the hall to Derek’s room. I banged on the door, ready to bust through it if necessary.
“Get the fuck out—”
As the door opened, my fist connected with Derek’s jaw with a satisfying crack. I shoved my way inside and my eyes landed on a redhead sitting on the bed, clutching a sheet to her naked body. I turned back to Derek, who lay on the ground, his neck bent against the wall in nothing but jeans.
“Get up,” I said between clenched teeth.
Derek’s hand was on his lip and he pulled his fingers back to examine the blood.
“What the fug you hit me for?” His words were slurred and I knew he was beyond wasted. The girl on the bed was pressing herself up against the wall in fear.
“Get dressed and get the fuck out of here now!” I pointed to her and she jumped, finding her clothes, which had been scattered around the floor. She took the sheet with her to cover her body as she slid behind me and out into the hallway. My gaze focused on Derek and all I wanted was to hurt him the way he had hurt Sarah. He had everything I ever wanted and he hurt her.
I bent down into his face so I was looking him in the eye. “You have no idea how bad you fucked up.” I stood up and drew my leg back, kicking him hard in the ribs. He groaned and wrapped his arms around his waist. I took the opportunity to hit him again in the face. His nose cracked under my fist and blood covered his face. “Get on your fucking feet and fight like a goddamn man.” I took a step back as I struggled to slow my breathing.
Derek was holding his nose and he pushed to his feet, standing in front of the door. I backed up a few more steps into the larger opening of the room and motioned for him to take his best shot.
“This has nothing to do with you.” He spit out a mouthful of blood as he glared at me.
“This has everything to do with me. You had no fucking right to hurt her.”
“And what? You think kicking my ass will make her fall into your arms?” He laughed and I swung, but he ducked out of my way. “She doesn’t want you, E. She never did.”
I wanted to make it impossible for him to smile. I lunged at him and we fell to the floor, my body landing on his and knocking the air from his lungs. His fist landed against my ribs and I hadn’t anticipated the blow. I grunted and rolled off him.
He took the opening and pushed to his knees as he swung, connecting with my cheekbone. I was so angry it didn’t even register. We struggled back and forth before I gained the upper hand and drove my fist into his body over and over, unleashing all of my anger on him. He had gotten the girl and he didn’t even give a fuck about her. I wanted to make him hurt as much as he had hurt her. Every tear she cried would be another blow to his body. I wrapped my fingers around his throat and stared down into his empty eyes as he clawed at my arms. I didn’t want to kill him. That would be too easy, but if someone didn’t stop me soon, that was going to happen.
In minutes our scuffle had drawn attention from other guests. I vaguely heard Donna’s voice, and soon the twins were on top of me, prying me from Derek’s bloodied body. Only then did I hear Donna scream again, but she sounded so far away.
“Sarah . . .” I struggled in their grip but they held me tight. “Sarah!” I screamed, and pulled against them toward the door. They let me go, satisfied I wasn’t going to try to finish off Derek, and we ran toward my room. The hall felt longer now, the walls closing in tighter as I burst through the doorway. Donna was on the floor with Sarah pulled over her lap, blood smeared from Sarah’s wounds over Donna’s light pink nightie. Sarah wasn’t moving, and for a moment it seemed as if Donna had rocked her to sleep like a child, but when my eyes scanned the scattered pills on the floor around Sarah, I fell to my knees.
“No! No!” I shook my head as I pulled Sarah from Donna’s arms and into my own lap. I ran my hand over her hair trying to wake her. The smell of her shampoo mixed with the smell of the blood turned my stomach, and tears flowed freely down my face as I held her against my chest.
Commotion was all around us but I blocked it all out as I held her against me. “You can’t do this, Sarah. I take it all back. I take it back. I’ll make it better. I’m so sorry. Please just wake up for me, sweetheart.”
“You have to let her go. They will take care of her,” Terry called out as he pulled on my arm, but I tightened my grip around her.
“Sir, you need to let her go so we can help her.” A woman was bending down in front of me, and through blurred vision I could make out that she had dark hair like Sarah’s. “Sir, we need you to let her go.”
“Son, you need to let him go so we can help him,” the medic called over my shoulder, but I refused to let my brother go. He needed me and I was just a few seconds too late. He struggled to breathe and blood gurgled in his throat; his eyes were half-open and he stared off into nothingness.
“I’m so sorry.” Sobs ripped through my chest as I held his body against mine as rocks dug into my knees. My mother flew out of the front door of our house, her dress blowing back with each step. The world slowed and I studied the sadness in her eyes, a pain I had never before seen. My gaze fell to Robert as he struggled to take one last breath. My mom’s feet froze and her hands flew over her mouth as she doubled over and violent sobs ripped through her body.
Then the most terrifying scream pulled from her chest. “My baby!”
My father soon followed, worry and pain on his face as his arms wrapped around my arms and he physically pulled me from my brother’s lifeless body. My father slowed to a stop beside my mother, his eyes locked on mine. I’d never seen such sadness and heartbreak in anyone’s eyes. I felt completely helpless. I wanted to comfort my mother, to plead with God to take me instead, but I froze, overwhelmed with guilt.
“Why weren’t you watching him?” My father’s voice shook and the sadness in his tone terrified me. He’d always been such a tough man, and now with tears rolling down his face, he was broken. “You should have been watching!”