I could see his eyes widen-as well they might, for the lady beside me was an impressive sight. I took advantage of his diverted attention to jump forward and reach out to keep his head turning even more in the same direction. He seized me in strong hands-which quickly went limp since the Tongoese neck twist produces instant unconsciousness when the rotation reaches 46 degrees from full front. I eased him to the ground, then stopped The Bishop from striding forward with my raised palm. “Not that way. “ The door on the building across the alley said SERVICE ENTRANCE and was locked. It opened to my ready key. As I waved my portly companion inside I took off my cap and threw it beside the policeman. I closed the door from the inside and dropped my uniform jacket as I did. The necktie went next as we strolled into the department store, until I was dressed simply in slacks and shirt. I put my moustache into my pocket and we joined the other customers. Occasionally looking at a display as we passed, but certainly never dawdling. There were a few amazed looks at my companion, but this was a very proper store and no one was so rude as to stare. I went first through the exit, holding the door, then led by a few paces as we joined the passing throng. Behind us, getting weaker as we went, were shouts and cries and the sound of alarm bells and sirens. I permitted myself a small smile. When I glanced back I saw that my companion had permitted herself one as well. She even had the nerve to let me have a brief wink. I turned back quickly-1 couldn’t encourage this sort of thing-then turned the comer into the side street, where the bread truck awaited.
“Stand here and look into your mirror,” I said, unlocking the rear door. I busied myself inside, then barely had time to move aside as a great form hurtled by.
“No one looking...” he gasped. “Perfect.” I climbed oat, secured the door, went to the driver’s side, climbed in, and started the engine. The van rumbled forward, slowly forcing its way through the pedestrians at the corner, then waited for a break in traffic.
I had considered driving back and past the courthouse, but that would have been dangerous braggadocio. Better to simply slip away.
When the street was empty I turned in the opposite direction and drove carefully towards the city limits. I knew all the back roads so vOe would be away well before they could be blocked.
We were not out of danger yet-but I still felt smug satisfaction. And why not! I had done it! Committed the escape of the century to save the criminal of the century. Nothing could stop us now!
Chapter 12
I drove, slowly but steadily, for the rest of the morning and into the afternoon. Av5iding all of the major highways by staying with the secondary roads. Though my route, by necessity, had to vary in direction, I nevertheless moved steadily south. Doing my best to add real feeling and emotion to Pi-r squared. Sounds familiar? It should be since it is probably the single geometry theorem that anyone ever remembers. The area of a circle is equal to its radius times the value of Pi-squared. So each roll of the wheels of the bread van added an ever-increasing area that must be searched to Bnd the escaping prisoner.
Four hours of this should put us well ahead of the police. The fact had to be considered as well that The Bishop had been locked in the back of the van for all of this time and knew nothing of my plans for the future. Explanations were in order-as was some food. I was getting hungry and, considering his girth, he would surely be feeling the same. With this in mind I pulled into the next suburban shopping center, checked the quick-food restaurants as I drove by, then parked at the far end of the lot. Backed up close to a blank wall. The Bishop biinked benevolently when I opened the rear door admitting light and fresh air.
“Time for lunch,” I said. “Would you like...” I lapsed into silence as he raised his hand in a gesture of silence.
“Permit me, Jim, to say something first. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart I thank you for what you have done. I owe you my life, no less. Thank you.” 79 I stood with lowered eyes-1 swear I was blushing like a girl!-and twisting my toe around and around on the ground. Then I coughed and found my voice.
“I did what had to be done. But-could we talk of this later?” He sensed my embarrassment and nodded, a regal figure despite the absurd garb he was still wearing. I pointed to the box on which he had been sitting. “There are clothes in there. While you change I’ll get some food. You don’t mind junk food from Macswineys?” “Mind? After the loathsome sludge of the prison food, one of their Barbecued Porcuswineburgers would be unto paradise. With a large portion of sugarfried spamyams, if you please.” “Coming up!” I closed the van door with a feeling of relief and trotted off towards the beckoning platinum arches. The Bishop’s enthusiasm for fast food was most encouraging in a way that he could not suspect yet.
Loud munching and rustling sounded from the tables on all sides as I passed and made my way up to the serving counter. I reeled off my order to the plastic-headed robotic attendant, stuffed bills into the hopper-then grabbed the bag of food and drink as it slid out of the gate.
We sat on the boxes in the back of the van and ate and drank with enthusiasm. I had left the rear door open a crack, which gave us more than enough light. During my absence The Bishop had discarded his dress and was now wearing more masculine garb-the largest size I could find. He wolfed -down half of his sandwich, nibbled a few spamyams to hold it in place, then smiled over at me.
“Your plan of escape was pure genius, my boy. I noticed the change in the flooring when I first sat down in the chair in the courtroom and pondered long over its significance. I hoped it was what I thought it might be, and can truthftilly say that when the ground opened under my feet, so to speak, I felt a feeling of pleasure such as I had never experienced before. The sight of that despicable judge’s face disappearing from my sight is a memory I shall always treasure.” Smiling broadly he finished the rest of the sandwich, then wiped his lips delicately before speaking again.
“Since I do not wish to cause you greater embarrassment with more fillsome praise, perhaps I should ask you what plans you have made to keep me safe from the hands of the law? Because, knowing you as I do now, I am secure in the belief that you have planned ahead in precise detail.” Praise from The Bishop was praise indeed and I basked in the warmth of it for a few moments while I worried out a bit of swinish gristle from between my teeth. “I have done that, thank you. The bread truck is our vehicle of invisibility, for it and its brothers trundle the highways and byways of this country daily.” For some reason I found myself sounding more and more like The Bishop when I spoke. “We will stay in it until nightfall, slowly approaching our destination all of the while.” “And of course casual police patrols will not bother us, since the identifying numbers on this vehicle are not the ones that were on it before it came into your possession.” “Precisely. The theft will have been reported and local police informed. But the search will not widen, for this vehicle will be found not far from its depot in Biliville in the morning. The new numbers, soluable in paint thinner, will have been removed, the odometer turned back to show only a brief joy ride by the thieves. If a van like this were seen and noted in the distant city of Bit 0’ Heaven, there will be nothing to connect that bread van with this one. That trail will run cold as will all the others,” He digested this bit of information, along with the last of the spamyams, then licked his fingers ruminatingly. “Capital. I could not have done better myself. Since further movement will be dangerous-the police will soon have a net over the entire country-1 presume that Biliville is our destination?” “It is. I have my establishment there. Also your place of security. When I asked about your food tastes I had that in mind. You are going to take up residence in an automated Macswineys until the heat of the chase dies down.” His eyebrows climbed up to his forehead and I saw him glance with son)e apprehension at the discarded wrappings, but he was land enough not to speak his doubts aloud. I hurried to reassure him.