The floor. The spot where Natalie died. I could still see it. God help me, I could still see where it had happened.
I can’t do this, I told myself. I can’t stay here.
But I have to. I have no choice.
I was so tired. I went to the bed, took off my clothes, left them where they dropped. I climbed into the bed, hoping to sleep, thinking maybe I’d have one more night when I didn’t have to start watching for whoever might come after me. But as soon as I was in the bed I smelled her scent there. In one second it was all over me and inside me. Like she was right there next to me.
Everything I had done that day, it all caught up to me at that one moment. I wanted it to be over. I wanted Laraque to call me, or to come here himself so he could deal with me in person. Anything to see him face-to-face, so I could ask him if he had killed Natalie, and if he had, then why.
I wanted it to happen so bad. I didn’t want to wait any longer.
I wanted violence. I wanted blood. It was the only thing that made sense to me now.
Violence. Blood.
Little did I know how soon my wish would come true.
Chapter Twenty
I spent a good part of the next day doing something I hadn’t done in years. I took some empty cans to a secluded spot in the woods behind my cabin and practiced shooting, first with Leon’s gun, then with the little. 380 I had taken from the boat. I put the ankle holster on my left leg, practiced bending over and picking up the pant leg with my left hand, drawing the weapon with my right, coming up shooting. The miniature pistol had a surprising kick to it. After a few rounds, my right hand was starting to get numb. At least I had the sense to wear the earmuffs I kept around for whenever I ran my chain saw.
The Taser looked like a toy, especially when I loaded it up with eight double-A batteries. It was hard to imagine this thing emitting a charge strong enough to knock a grown man senseless and keep him down for several minutes, but that’s what it was built to do. The nasty part was the pair of probes on the ends of the wires. They looked like long fish hooks, with barbs on the ends to keep them stuck inside the skin. According to the little booklet that came with the gun, the nitrogen canister would shoot the probes at a hundred and twenty miles per hour, with enough force to penetrate two inches of clothing. As long as both probes made contact with the skin, the electric charge would completely shut down the target’s muscle control, sending the man down to the ground like he was having some kind of seizure.
Yeah, I can see how useful this would be, I thought. Put a man on the ground without killing him. This thing could definitely make the starting lineup, despite the fact that citizen use is illegal in Michigan.
I was still reading when I heard the footsteps. I dropped the booklet, took the gun out of my waistband.
“It’s me,” Vinnie said as he stepped out from behind a tree. “I heard gunshots.”
“I’m just practicing,” I said.
“For what?”
“So I’m ready if somebody comes after me. I have the right to defend myself, don’t I?”
He came closer to me. He looked at the black box on the ground, picked up the instruction booklet for the Taser and scanned through it.
“I’m trying to help you,” he said. “I’m trying to be your brother.”
“I know that.”
“If you go after him, you won’t come back.”
“I’m not going to Canada.”
“Yesterday you wanted me to find you a boat.”
“It was a bad idea. I know that.”
“So then what’s with the artillery here?”
“He knows where I live,” I said. “He sent somebody to kill Natalie. If I had been there with her, I’d be dead now, too.”
He thought about it. Then he nodded slowly.
“So if somebody comes to finish the job,” I said, “I’ll be ready.”
He looked in my eyes, like he was trying to read something there. “Have you eaten anything today?”
“I don’t want to go down there,” I said. “I’m not ready to deal with people yet. Not even Jackie.”
“I can bring you something.”
“That would be good. I appreciate it.”
He stayed there for a long moment, measuring me.
“I’ll be back soon,” he finally said. “Don’t go away.”
“I won’t.”
I went back to the cabin. There were no new messages on the machine. I brought the phone over as close to the front door as I could go. Then I set up two folding chairs outside and sat down on one of them.
Vinnie came back a few minutes later. He was carrying a plate of food and a Molson.
“Why did you move back to this cabin?” he said. He sat down in the other chair.
“I need to stay by the phone. If there’s a break in the case, I want to hear about it.”
“You could install a phone in the second cabin.”
“I could. It would take some time.”
“Alex, there’s something you’re not telling me.”
I ate my dinner. It was beef stew, my favorite back when I could still taste food. I didn’t drink any of the beer.
“Tell me what’s going on,” he said.
Strength, I thought. Energy. I need to make myself eat. At least twice a day.
“You’re not making this easy,” he said.
“Would it surprise you to know that I don’t want you to get killed, either?”
“You think that’s likely to happen?”
“If you stay too close to me, yes.”
“Do you think you’re cursed?” he said. “Anybody close to you ends up dead?”
“Not exactly.”
“Then why do you say that?”
The phone rang. I put the plate on the ground and stood up.
“I have to get that,” I said.
“Go ahead.”
Second ring.
“I need to take this call alone.”
“Who is it?”
Third ring.
“I’ll tell you later. Just let me get this, all right?”
He didn’t move.
Fourth ring.
“I’m sorry,” I said. I went inside the cabin and shut the door.
The answering machine was kicking in, the recording just starting when I picked up the receiver. The answering machine cut off. I looked at the caller ID. It read “Unknown Caller.” I would have bet anything the call was coming from an untraceable cell phone.
“Hello,” I said.
“Is this Alex?” A woman’s voice.
“Yes.”
“Can you guess who I am?”
“Is your name Rhapsody?”
“Well done.”
“That was fast. Mr. Gray contacted you already?”
“Never mind who contacted me. You know why I’m calling.”
“Is Laraque there?”
“He’s not here at the moment. I’m calling to do you a big favor.”
“If you want to do me a favor,” I said, “then tell Laraque to call me.”
I hung up the phone. It rang again about fifteen seconds later.
“Alex, that was not very nice.”
“You’ll have to forgive me. I haven’t been myself lately.”
“I understand you’ve suffered a loss,” she said. “I know I wasn’t as close to her as you were…”
“What did you just say?”
“I was her friend, Alex. At least I thought I was. Didn’t she ever mention me?”
“What are you talking about?”
“We used to meet every morning for coffee. Antoine and I were really looking forward to doing business with her. Until, well…Until what happened. It was such a horrible thing.”
“Until she was gunned down in cold blood, you mean.”
“Alex, I don’t know how much this will mean to you, but I’m very, very sorry about what happened. I can only imagine how you’re feeling.”
“You’re sorry.”
“Yes, I am. Under the circumstances…I mean, I know you want to lash out at somebody. But I think you’ve made a very big mistake.”
“Who did he send to kill her?” I said. “Was it the same guy who killed her partner? Or was it a different man?”