She turned abruptly and started walking toward Afagdu and his table of lords. “What the queen gives, the queen can take away.”
“Even the queen must honor her word,” Afagdu said, “and you gave your word before the court that the guards who went to Meredith’s bed were hers.” The fact that he would say such bald truth to an angry Andais showed how confident he was that he could survive an attack by her. There were few magicians among us who thought they were her equal in magic; Afagdu was one of them.
“Few would dare make me eat my own words in open court, Afagdu. Do not let your magic make you bold beyond your abilities.”
“Is it bold to speak the truth, my queen?”
But, of course, two could play at that particular game. “Very well, Nicca is Meredith’s now, but Biddy is not. Meredith can do as she will with Nicca, but Biddy is not hers to give to another man. Biddy belongs to my son, to Prince Cel.” She looked at me. “Would you steal even the women from his bed?”
“You cannot steal that which is offered,” I said.
“And what does that mean, Meredith, with your Seelie eyes?”
I swallowed hard, and promised myself I’d think better before I spoke next time. “The ring gave Biddy to Nicca.”
“So you say, but I say that the guards serve only my bloodline. So how do you propose to satisfy both the ring on your finger and your queen?”
“You said any guard who comes to my bed is mine to keep, correct?”
“Yes, so Afagdu has reminded me.”
“Then I will take Biddy and Nicca to my bed. Nicca will still be my lover, but he will also be Biddy’s. Will that satisfy you, Aunt Andais?”
“I have never found Nicca able to serve more than one person in a night.”
“I can bring him back to readiness with a touch,” I said.
“Can you really?” Her voice was thick with scorn. Her eyes had gone back to being angry.
I didn’t like the look or the tone, but I answered her, because not answering was probably worse. “Yes, my queen, I can.”
“Is this some new ability that you have gained?”
“No, Aunt Andais, it has always been my gift.”
“I keep forgetting that you’re a fertility goddess.”
“Descended from, yes.”
“I did not think you liked women, Meredith.”
My neck was beginning to feel strained looking up at her six-foot height from my knees. “I do not, as a rule, but if this is the only way to satisfy both the ring and my queen, then I will do it.”
She walked closer to me, forcing me to move my neck even farther back, as if she knew how awkward it was. “Would you do anything to see them make this potential child a reality?”
I saw the trap in her words and tried to avoid it. “Not anything, no.”
“But much,” she said, looming over me, “you would do much to have them fuck?”
I fought the urge to sit back on my heels, anything to get my neck out of the odd position. I did not want to answer this question, nothing good would come of it.
“Answer me, Meredith.”
“Yes, Aunt Andais, I would do much so they could make the child the ring promised.”
“Why do you care if they are with child?”
“Life quickens inside them. I saw it, felt it. It is a gift of the Goddess. How can I do anything but honor that gift? You wore the ring once when it was in its full power. You must remember how it felt.”
She grabbed me by the hair, jerked my head even farther back, as if she meant to snap my neck. She growled low and close to my face. “I am not a fertility goddess. I took the ring off my enemy’s finger. It was a spoil of war, and it worked for me, but its magic and mine are not complementary. I never saw a phantom child. I saw sex, obsession, love, but children…” She lifted me off my knees, by my hair. I put a hand back to try to keep it from hurting so much. “I never saw any children.”
Our faces were almost touching now. It felt as if she was going to tear my hair out by the roots. “Why is it so important to you that Nicca and Biddy fuck?”
I spoke through gritted teeth, trying not to cry out. “Because I am a princess of this court and I have a chance to give the sidhe their first child in a century. It is my duty, my honor, to bring this child into being.”
She let me go so abruptly that I fell, and only Galen’s arm kept me from smacking my face against the floor. She touched his face, made him look at her. “Oh, he is angry. He doesn’t like that I’ve hurt you. I never tried him out. I always thought he would be like Nicca, too gentle in bed, but he doesn’t frighten as easily as Nicca. A disaster politically, but brave in that ‘hero destined to die for a cause’ sort of way.” She cupped his chin in her hand. “Is he any good as a lover?”
If I said yes, she might want to borrow him. If I said no, it would be a lie. He was too gentle for me, too, but when I was in the mood for gentle lovemaking, Galen was just about perfect. “I think he is too gentle for your tastes, Aunt Andais.”
“But not for yours?” She knelt down, making a pool of black silk in front of my downcast eyes.
“I have wider interests in the bedroom than you do, auntie dearest.”
“Why is it that any tender endearment from you always sounds like you’re telling me to go fuck myself?”
“I meant no disrespect.”
“I have heard that you like it rough, Meredith.” She bent down, whispering, “Not as rough as me, or Cel, but rough enough.”
“Not every night, Aunt Andais.” I did not raise my face beyond her silk lap. I was in pain and tired of her insane games. It had never occurred to me that she would see all the new magic as a threat to her. So much had happened, there hadn’t been time to keep her informed. But she was our queen, and I had made her look weak. Because she got her reports from others, the entire court knew I did not respect her enough to keep her informed or ask her opinion. If she was going this crazy about smaller things, what would she do when she found out that the chalice had returned and I had not told her that either? But that was something I would not reveal before the entire court. It was too dangerous.
“If you are not with child, you will never be queen.” She spoke into my hair.
“Keeping Nicca and Biddy from their child will not gain me one,” I said.
“Giving children to every couple in our court will not gain you my throne.”
“If I could bring hundreds of children to the Unseelie Court, I would not need to rule it.”
“Cel will kill you.”
“I know that.”
“Do you want to rule?” She said it as if it had never occurred to her to ask.
“I have no choice but to rule or die.”
She grabbed me by the shoulders, and Galen tried to hold me from her, a mistake that cost me bruises as she jerked me away from him. “Do you want to rule?”
“If it is a choice between giving the court to Cel or me, I choose me.”
“What if there were a third choice?” she asked.
“I know of no other choice,” I said.
“Don’t you, Meredith? Don’t you know exactly who would rule here if he could?”
I must have looked as puzzled as I felt because she yelled at me, “Barinthus would rule here if I allowed it. He was always after Essus to kill me and take the throne, because that was as close to the throne as his vows could get him.” She pointed to Barinthus, standing near the side of the steps.
“I told you that he and I have done nothing that could make him king to my queen. I will take whatever oath you wish. Who has whispered these lies to you?”
“Are they lies, Meredith, all of them?”
“I don’t know what you have been told, but Barinthus making himself my king is a lie.”
“Then tell me what else is a lie, Meredith. The ring has chosen a couple, but I had to hear it from others, not from your mouth. You have imprisoned my son’s guards without consulting me. You have a suspect in the murders, but you have not told me who. You have fucked my new captain of the guard and divided his loyalties from me. Darkness and others ran into the night, and I don’t know why.” She stalked back to me, grabbed my arm, and screamed in my face, “I am queen here! Not you!”