His lips tightened grimly. He only hoped Zilah would be equally safe. She had been crying so hard she must have been almost blinded by tears. Who knew what kind of trouble she could fall into? He swung into the saddle and cantered toward the pasture gate.
10
Zilah had nearly reached the meadow of wild poppies when she heard the hoofbeats. She didn’t halt or look behind her even when she heard Daniel shouting her name.
Then he was almost on top of her. “Zilah, if you don’t stop, I’m going to have to try to scoop you up like one of those blasted movie heros. You know what a lousy rider I am. We’ll probably both end up in the dirt on our asses.”
“Go away. I can’t talk now.” Her voice was still unsteady though the sobs that had shaken her had finally ceased. “I’ll see you later. I want to be alone.”
“The hell you do,” Daniel said grimly. “You can just cut out the Garbo bit. There’s no way I’m going to let you out of my sight until we get this straightened out. Now, are you going to stop or do I scoop?”
“Daniel, I…” He’d do it. She knew he would. She had seen that bulldog tenacity in action before. Oh, God, she wasn’t going to be able to bear this. She stopped, trying desperately to maintain her delicately balanced control. “Please go away, Daniel.”
He had reined in Dancing Lady and was swinging off the mare. “I can’t do that,” he said simply. “Any more than I can let you go. Ask me anything but that.”
“Your responsibility is over. Hassan has been captured. I’m well again. There’s no reason for you to pretend any longer.”
“Pretend!” His hand grasped her shoulders and he gave her a shake. His eyes were blazing in his white face. “I don’t know how to play games like that. I never learned. I don’t want to learn.”
“You played a fairly intricate one with me,” she said. “You’re obviously not as amateurish at it as you’d have me believe.” She shook her head wearily. “I don’t want to argue. It doesn’t solve anything. I understand why you had to keep me here, Daniel, and I’m not blaming you. You told me Alex Ben Raschid wanted the terrorists. It was very clever of you to use me as a decoy.”
“Decoy? You think I kept you here as a lure for Hassan and his men?”
“Pandora said there was no medical reason for me to be here.” Zilah’s eyes were fixed on the top button of his shirt. She would not start weeping again. “You made the last ten days very pleasurable for me. I’m only sorry I forced you into that situation last night. I didn’t understand.”
Daniel uttered a round of unprintable words that caused her eyes to lift swiftly to his face.
“Come on.” He led her a few paces away from the mare. “Sit down. This may take a while. I’ve never heard such a bunch of bull in my life.” His hands on her shoulders forced her to her knees. He knelt beside her. “Now, I’m going to take this point by point and try to pound some sense into your head. It’s either that or I’m going to go bananas. First, why do you think I wanted you here to use you as bait? Didn’t it ever occur to you there could be another reason?”
“What other reason could there be?” Zilah was staring blindly over his shoulder. “It was a very clever move. Clancy must be pleased with you.”
“For your information, Clancy threatened to nail my ass for keeping you here.”
“He didn’t agree with your plan?” she asked dully. “Well, you proved him wrong, didn’t you?”
“There wasn’t a plan, dammit.” His voice was as exasperated as his expression. “I didn’t have any plan but keeping you with me as long as I could get away with it.”
“You don’t have to spare my feelings. I know you don’t feel anything for me but friendship. You’ve never behaved as anything other than a very kind older brother all the time I’ve been here.” Her lips tightened with pain. “Until I forced myself on you last night.”
“I think one of us is going crazy.” Daniel’s expression was stunned. “For God’s sake, look at me. I’m twice your size and weight. You’re speaking as if you held me down and raped me. I wasn’t exactly fighting you off, was I?”
She shook her head miserably. “You were very kind. You’re always ki-”
“Kind!” It was almost a roar. “Are you blind? I went out of my head loving you last night. I get excited just looking at you. I’ve been one big ache for the last ten days.”
Her eyes widened uncertainly. “Is that true? Then why have you been so…”
“Because when you had that fever you looked at me as if I were some kind of monster. It scared the hell out of me.” His lips were a flat line of remembered pain. “I couldn’t risk your ever looking at me like that again. It hurt too damn much.”
“You felt sorry for me,” she whispered.
His breath released explosively. “Okay, let’s go into that question of pity. The very idea seems to blow you sky high. You’re damned right I pity you.”
“Well, you can stop right now.” She lifted her chin. “I don’t want your pity any more than you wanted mine that night in the cave.”
“I can’t cut it off just because you don’t want it,” he said. “It exists. It nearly ripped my heart out when I heard what happened to you. I wanted to commit murder. Then I wanted to pick you up and put you in a glass case, where no one could ever hurt you again.” His hands tightened on her shoulders. “No, not a glass case. I wanted to create a brand new world for you. A world where there was only sunshine and flowers. A place where children would never know pain or hunger or any of the twisted horrors that you did.” His eyes were glistening as they looked into her own. “But I can’t do that. I have to accept the world just as you do. I can only try to protect and care for you now. To make your world as beautiful as I can today and tomorrow.” He shook his head. “But don’t ask me not to pity you, or at least the child you were, Zilah.”
“Will you stop talking about it!” The tears were running down her cheeks again. “I never wanted that. There’s only one thing I ever wanted from you.”
He went still. “And what’s that, Zilah?”
“Never mind.” She tried to shrug his hands from her shoulders. “I don’t want to talk anymore. Please, let me go, Daniel.”
His grip tightened, quelling her resistance. “What did you want from me, Zilah?”
“I wanted you to love me,” she burst out. “Wasn’t that stupid? I wanted your love, not your damn pity.”
His expression was stunned. “What the hell are you talking about? Of course I love you. What do you think all this means?”
“I know you care about me as a friend,” she said huskily. “I want more. I tried to be satisfied with the other, but it’s not enough.”
“Lord, you’re muddle-headed.” His hands left her shoulders and moved up to frame her face. His exasperation was suddenly gone and his expression held such exquisite tenderness that it caused her heart to flutter. “Listen carefully. I will love you as a friend, as a mistress, and as the mother of my future children. I will love you through rain and storm and sunshine. I will love you through peace and war and everything in between. I’ve loved you for so long that it seems forever, and I will love you beyond forever.” He smiled gently. “Is that clear, love?”
Her eyes were misty and uncertain. “Truly?”
“Truly.” He shook his head ruefully. “How could I help but love you? You’re everything any man could want. Why the hell do you persist in doubting it? You’re quite a woman, Zilah Dabala.”
Joy was beginning to spread tentative golden tendrils through her. Daniel loved her. It was too wonderful to believe. Yet how could she help believing when he was looking at her like that? “I know I am.” She smiled shakily. “Only, sometimes, I forget.”