Her sanity began to tip, urgently needing to know how much she confessed.
“What else?” she questioned in a small defensive tone.
“Red…” he stammered, slowly shaking his head. “I couldn’t stop you. We’d both gotten worked up. I was trying to fly, but you undressed…you started touching yourself.”
Carrie Ann needed to look anywhere but his eyes. Sinking lower into mortification, her eyes coasted down his body, inadvertently taking him in. Heavily aroused, his thick bulging column pulling at the top of his waistband. Her brows lifted, sub-consciously angling her chin, attempting a quick glimpse inside. A defined tan line dusted with dark hair fired off a round of contractions in her lower abdomen. It took all of her control to keep her hips from pulsing with the rhythm. Shamefully, she panted as a fine layer of perspiration gathered beneath her clothing.
“There was no stopping you. I figured it was better for you to touch yourself than me. No matter how much I wanted you…want you…it wouldn’t have been right. At one point you were so pissed because I refused to participate you punched my arm.”
“I hit you?” she cringed.
“Yeah, you whacked the hell out of me because I wouldn’t pull over. Then you turned all sweet asking me to make love to you, touch you, taste you.”
His hand slipped over hers. A low groan crooned from his throat, clasping two of her fingers in his.
Oh. My. God. I seriously fed him my pussy.
Embarrassment coursed through her in a deep tremor. Straightening his spine, he shook his head fiercely, ridding the vision from his eyes.
Summer motioned to his hard-on nearly protruding out the top of his pants “Look at me! My dick’s so hard it won’t go down.”
“Sorry.” She had no idea why she apologized, but she did.
“Trust me. You’re not the least bit sorry. You’re just in complete denial.”
“The last thing I’m in is denial. Just because I was drugged and…”
“Don’t. Don’t do it, Red. I really don’t know how much more I can take. First you’re all over me, then you’re telling me….things, then you’re furious with me. The last thing I need right now is to feel anything else…unless it involves you in my arms.”
A spike of heat caught her low in the gut. She didn’t know what things she’d said in the heat of the moment, but Carrie Ann knew one thing for certain. She didn’t want to hurt him. No matter what happened years ago, she carried a deep affection for the man standing in front of her. A rush of emotions spurred fire to the center of her chest. Her hands and arms felt encumbered, shackled to the chair by fear. Part of her yearned to reach for his hand, the other part terrified to touch him.
“That’s not going to happen, Summer,” she said unsteadily.
Pushing aside the tray, he kneeled before her half sitting on the edge of the ottoman. Staring out the window, shadows of light played against his profile. His strained silence filled her with electrifying awareness of the severity of the situation. He glanced down at her bare legs, pausing before closing his hands over her knees. Carrie Ann startled at the spark of warmth prickling her flesh. Her body tensed and trembled, fists curled into tight balls, feeling the pad of his thumbs turn lazy, telling circles near her inner thigh.
“Red…” His smooth tone drew her eyes upward. His hands moved to her arms, stroking from her elbow to the thin pale skin of her wrists. “I’m smart enough not to push you. We both had a lot to say. Time’s already taken too much from each of us. All I’m asking is that you keep an open mind. Let your guard down a little.”
An obscure cloak of anxieties fastened tightly around her heart. She wasn’t even aware she’d been holding her breath until a heavy exhale expelled from her lungs. Concern sifted through his eyes. Releasing another shuddery sigh, she unlocked her fingers, stretching them straight.
“It’s been so long, Summer. Can’t we just be friends…for now?” Hearing the sound of her own voice, tenuous and indefinite, shocked her. She swallowed hard, pushing down the trepidation growing inside. “See how we feel?”
“I don’t want to be your friend, Carrie Ann.” She heard him murmur. He raised to his feet, playing with her fingers before letting them loose, dropping his hand at his side. “I want to be your everything.”
Chapter Eight
‡
Summer gave her space for much of the afternoon, chopping enough firewood to last two seasons of the bitter Montana winter. Carrie Ann flipped through the pages of the western romance, but found it impossible to pay attention, constantly re-reading the pages. Her head and her heart were in an intense battle of tug-a-war, neither wanting to concede. Logic weighed in with a heavy hand yielding a wealth of reasons why she should say no. They had a history. Their relationship started off as a fairytale, but ended in a nightmare. However, merely being in his presence made her heart beat faster. The world seemed to list in perfect balance, producing a feeling of comfort she’d almost forgotten. And God knows, her vagina waited impatiently on the sidelines ready, willing and able to take on the challenge at any given notice. Closing the pages of the book against her chest, she laid her head back, peering up at the log beams. Right on cue, her old nemesis, guilt, moved to the forefront, nailing the doors to her heart shut.
The clicking of puppy nails, echoed above the thunderous rain. Carrie Ann slid off the chair, sitting cross legged on the floor. She called the pup with a kiss of her lips, “C’mere girl.”
Aspen bounded into the living room, muddy paws and all. Summer jogged right behind, scooping her into his arms before she dirtied the Indian rug spread across the wide plank floor. Rich bands of gold, brown, purple and maroon, weaved together, mimicking the colors of red cliffs at sunset.
“Oops, sorry.”
Aspen wiggled and whined. Her cute little paws darting in midair wanting to get to Carrie Ann.
“That’s okay. I don’t blame her. If I didn’t think you’d slap me, I’d do the same thing.” He flashed a smile and she couldn’t help but return the grin. “Let me wash her paws off and you can have her.”
A few minutes later, Aspen licked her face wildly. The earthy scent of the wet outdoors clung to her fur. Summer retrieved a rugged looking cell phone from his back pocket and placed it atop the low coffee table made from an old trunk. “Shayla wants you to give her a call.”
“You have cell service way out here?”
“I like to refer to it as a necessary evil, but yes, I have a satellite phone. I love being out here in the middle of nowhere, but it’s a critical lifeline to the rest of the world. I have cable too, but only in the barn. I didn’t want TV’s or computers in the cabin. It’s a digital detox zone. I should warn you…you might go through withdrawals.” A faint smile touched his lips. “I’m gonna hop in the shower.”
“Okay.” Her voice wavered a bit, focusing her attention on Aspen. “Does she know what’s going on?”
“Yes.”
“Everything?”
“I might’ve spared her some of the inflight service details…”
She could feel her face flush. Judging by the gleam in his eyes, her discomfiture pleased him immensely.
“You’ll get better reception near the window in the kitchen.”
“Thanks,” she replied smugly. Carrie Ann dialed the familiar number, wandering into the kitchen.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Shay.”
“Finally! How are you?”
“I’m okay. Tired, I guess. I’ve been sleeping a lot. I’m not sure if it’s a reaction from the drug or if I was just exhausted from working so much the last few months.”