"I see."
"But I would think the Royal Kei has the same problems. Because we're both kaikyaku, I think we would understand each other. We both know what it feels like." Suzu flushed a bit explaining this.
"So you're saying you'd like to become friends with her?"
Suzu suddenly raised her head. "I suppose… if it's possible."
"Perhaps the Royal Kei isn't homesick for Yamato. It is possible, don't you think?"
Suzu's voice grew more resolute. "Well, of course that's what a person from this world would think."
Sairin turned toward her in response. "There are many people here, too, who have been separated from their homes. Itinerants who are not welcomed anywhere, who spend their lives wandering from place to place."
She bowed her slender neck, as if in shame at the very thought. "But I do wonder if being born in the same Yamato necessarily means you would understand each other. There are people born in the same country who hate each other nonetheless."
Suzu said to Sairin with an annoyed scowl, "It's not the same thing. A person born here wouldn't understand. There's a big difference between simply coming from the same hometown and never being able to return to your hometown again."
"But I wonder."
Sairin let out a small sigh. Suzu was about to shoot her another peevish look when Kouko came in from the main hall.
"Oh, there you are." She turned to Sairin. "I'd like to talk with Suzu for a minute."
"Yes," said Sairin, and with a polite bow returned to main residence.
Kouko sat down next to Suzu, who immediately straightened her posture.
"I just met with Mistress Riyou."
Suzu's body began to tremble. Hearing Riyou's name was like stumbling across something filthy in this peaceful, exquisite palace garden.
"I've decided to recall the servants at Suibi Grotto to the palace."
Suzu felt her cheeks flush. Not ever returning to Suibi Grotto was fine with her. Instead, she would live in this beautiful palace, surrounded by kind, graceful people like Kouko and Sairin (her little spat of unpleasantness all but forgotten for now). Her spirits soared upwards.
The next words out of Kouko's mouth turned her to ice. "However, you shan't be one of them."
The trembling rose from the soles of her feet to the crown of her head. "What… what do you mean?"
"Your name will remain upon the Registry. But I wish you to live in the real world for a while. I've arranged for you to be listed upon the census."
"But why only me? What did I do?"
Kouko's face was almost expressionless, except for a small touch of sadness. "I know that it was difficult for you, not being able to comprehend the language. But now that you can, you should be able to make a living for yourself."
"What did Riyou tell you?" Her whole body shook, from anger or disappointment, she couldn't tell which.
"This has nothing to do with her. Riyou left everything to my discretion."
"Then why?"
Kouko averted her gaze. "I was thinking it might help if you grew up a bit first."
"Grew up?" She had been a prisoner of Riyou for a hundred years. What was it that a century couldn't accomplish?
Kouko looked calmly at Suzu. "It must have been very hard for you, to be thrown into a world you had never seen before and knew nothing about. And even more so because you couldn't speak the language. However, Suzu, simply understanding the words that people say is not the same as comprehending what they mean."
Suzu could only gape at her.
"If impertinence is actually what you are communicating, and that is why you are failing to come to an understanding, then the rest is all for naught. It is necessary that you first try to grasp what the other person intends, showing acceptance without first jumping to conclusions."
"That's not fair!"
"If it really proves too much for you to bear, then at that time you may return. But for now, I want you go down to the city and see what life is like. Even then, it won't be too late to consider other options."
"But why do I have to be the only one? After all this time!"
Suzu collapsed to the floor, her expectations thoroughly dashed. And I thought they were good people. I thought they were nice. If I had to live here and serve them, who knows how bad it would get.
They didn't know what it was like, the agony of getting swept away from your country, to a strange place where you didn't know your left from your right. Growing up here, they couldn't possibly understand what she was going through.
"If there is some other course you wish to take, tell me now. If it is within my power, I'll see what I can do to help you."
What's she asking me this now for? Suzu bit her lip and raised her tear-streaked face. "I want… I want to see the Royal Kei."
Kouko bent closer to her. "The Royal Kei?"
"I want to meet her, see what she's like. She was born in Yamato like me."
Ah, Kouko said under her breath, knitting her brows.
"We're fellow countrywomen. The Royal Kei would understand me, I know it. The Royal Sai doesn't. Not even Sairin understands me. Nobody born in this world understands what I've gone through."
The Royal Kei wouldn't treat her like this. She'd have heartfelt concern and sympathy for her. She'd surely help her.
While Kouko mulled it over, Suzu said, "I know the Royal Kei is just as lonely as I am, is just as sad and homesick. People here don't feel sorry for you. Only somebody from Yamato like I am could understand how bad it's been."
"I have no acquaintance with the Royal Kei, so I cannot accommodate your request directly. However, I can provide you with traveling expenses and papers of transit." Suzu's face lit up. Kouko looked down at her naive countenance with a slightly pained expression. "So go and see what comes of it. You certainly have nothing to lose from the experience."
"Thank you! Thank you so much!"
"There is one thing, however, that I wish you to remember," said Kouko, peering at the girl's tear-streaked face, now flushed and smiling. "When it comes to living a life, happiness is only the half of it. Suffering is the rest."
"Huh?"
"Happy people are not those whose lives are well-blessed. Happy people are those who keep their hearts in good cheer."
Suzu couldn't figure out for the life of her why Kouko was telling her this.
"Child of Yamato, in the end, the only thing that truly brings us happiness is the effort we expend to put suffering behind us and the effort we make to become happy."
Suzu nodded. "Sure. Okay." Well, of course. She had fought hard for her happiness and the result was being freed from Riyou. Now she was going to meet the Royal Kei. "I won't let adversity defeat me," she said with a smile. "I've gotten used to hardships. I've got enough patience to endure to the end."
Kouko looked away, her face tinged with sorrow.
4-3
Along with the Koushi and other upcoming festivals of the midwinter solstice, a giddy atmosphere once again enveloped Kinpa Palace. At the height of the celebrations, an incident shook the capital. A large cache of weapons was discovered at the home of Taisai, head of the Ministry of Heaven.
"Weapons?"
The report was delivered in the middle of the night by Daishikou, the head of the Ministry of Fall. Youko stood there dumbstruck.
"It appears as if preparations were being made for a coup."
They had been stockpiling weapons with the intent of assassinating her, the empress.
"We were informed by a number of Taisai's retainers, who rushed to the Ministry of Fall to warn us. Not believing it ourselves, we retraced their steps and found the cache of weapons. We later took ten mercenaries into custody at Taisai's villa in Gyouten."
Undoubtedly, Taisai had shown himself to be the least satisfied with her. He often clashed with Chousai Seikyou, and it was widely rumored that Youko deferred to Seikyou at every opportunity. But that it would come down to regicide horrified her. Even knowing full well that the bureaucracy by and large still did not accept her, she had no idea that they hated her enough to amass weapons and attempt an assassination.