“Never mind, never mind, Miss Basia. I understand, it happens. I’ll just put a bookmark at your page. I’ll leave the book over here, it’ll be waiting for you.”
“Oh, please do. Thank you.” And she’d almost rush out, as if she really had remembered some pressing errand.
Then a moment later you’d see her somewhere by the fence, waiting for him. And the librarian would also see her from the window. Or she’d ask the watchmen to let her in to the site, and she’d wait there. She’d sometimes be wandering around till evening, till nighttime if he didn’t show up. When someone came by she’d slip behind a crane or a backhoe, or behind a pile of bricks, some reels of cable, a heap of crates or barrels or used tires, there were mountains of stuff like that all over the main yard. Wherever she could hide.
Why would she hide when everyone knew anyway? Exactly. I wondered about that myself. Especially because I often used to run into her myself on the site in the evening. Though she hid from me too. Maybe that was the nature of her love, that it was somehow at odds with the world. Or maybe she wanted it to be that way.
In the end they got married. It was a strange wedding. It wasn’t a civil one, but it also wasn’t in a church. Apparently he’d so turned her head that she agreed to have the Priest marry them. That’s right, the welder. She had wanted a church wedding. He wouldn’t agree, because as he explained to her, he could lose his job over it. As she knew, he was on a foreign contract, and he needed the backing of important people. He couldn’t even tell her who, it was an official secret. Besides, what difference did it make whether it was in a church or not. The main thing was that they should be married by a priest. A church was just where there was a priest. And she knew him after all. And the fact that he was a welder, what of it? He was a priest. People found themselves in various situations these days, even priests. He had a surplice and stole, and a Bible, he kept them in a suitcase, what could they be for other than to perform services? He’d be sure to agree. He knew what times were like. And he’d certainly keep their secret. Because for the moment it had to be a secret. At most he’d invite three or four of his closest friends. They wouldn’t breath a word of it, he guaranteed. She shouldn’t invite anyone from her side, not her father or mother, no one.
They agreed on a Saturday evening when the site would be deserted, so no one would see it. A lot of people working on the site would leave after work on Saturday to travel to their families. The watchmen at the gatehouse would get a bottle of vodka so they wouldn’t see anything or hear anything. Just in case, he’d tell them it was his birthday. They’d cover the window, the table would serve as an altar, they’d cover it with a white cloth. He’d buy candles. It would be good to have a crucifix, he didn’t know if the Priest had one. Maybe she had one at home, she should bring it. But she should make sure no one saw her. So she did. Do you think she was being gullible? I doubt it. Desire is stronger than suspicion.
She wanted a wedding dress, a white one, because she’d always dreamed of getting married in a white dress with a train. He gave it some thought. No problem, she’d have one, he’d buy it for her. He’d go into town and buy it. She didn’t have to go with him. He’d get her the most beautiful one, the most expensive one. If she went with him someone might twig. She shouldn’t worry, it would be the right size. It’d fit her like a glove. How tall was she exactly? That’s what he thought. And her hips and waist, and here? That’s what he thought. So why did she need to go? What if someone saw them together in the store, and her trying on a wedding dress, then there’d be problems. It wasn’t their fault they were living in such times. He wished they’d met in a different age. But she herself could see it was best if he went alone. White shoes? He’d buy her white shoes. What size was she? That’s what he thought. Just in case, she should draw the outline of her foot on a sheet of paper. That way he’d be more confident. Especially since with shoes it can happen that even though they’re the right size, they turn out to be too tight or too loose. Would she also like white gloves? He could get her some white gloves while he was about it. What else would she like?
How do I know all this? You’ve never worked on a building site? Then you don’t know much about life. On a building site everyone knows everything. You don’t even need to eavesdrop. You don’t need to see, you don’t need to guess. You could say that what happens, what’s said, what someone feels, what they think about, that first off everyone knows it. Then what comes next only confirms it.
Anyhow, she didn’t want any white gloves, because why should he spend more money on gloves. No, she didn’t want gloves. It was it was going to be an expensive enough business as it was. The dress alone, you say it’ll be the most beautiful one, the most expensive one. Then how much will the shoes cost? Plus, she’d never seen anyone get married in gloves. She used to go to nearly every wedding at her church. Every wedding kind of changed her life for a moment. She’d gone since she was a girl. Even when it was total strangers getting married, she’d still go. When old people got married there was never much of a crowd, but she would be there. So what if they were old? It was still a wedding. And when they promised they’d never leave each other she would feel her heart pounding in her chest, tears welling in her eyes. But she’d never seen a bride in gloves. I mean, they had to put rings on their fingers, and what, was she supposed to take off a glove at that moment?
All of a sudden she realized he’d forgotten about the rings. He had to buy rings. He didn’t have to because he already had them. He’d thought ahead. He took them out and unwrapped them, told her to try one on. How did he know it would be the right size for her finger? If it didn’t fit this finger it would go on that one. Try it on. If it’s too big, later on we’ll give it to a jeweler and have it made smaller. If it’s too small, she can put it on her pinkie finger for now. Later on we’ll give it to a jeweler and have it enlarged. He’d bought them some time ago, before he was working on the foreign contract. An opportunity had come along when someone lost at cards and didn’t have anything else to pay with. No, he didn’t play cards, not him. He’d bought them off the guy that lost. He’d figured they might come in handy. And they had. He’d forgotten about them, it was only when he saw her in the cafeteria that he remembered he had them. It was like those rings had chosen her to be his wife. Though they wouldn’t be able to wear them for the moment. After the wedding they’d take them off and he’d keep them safe. Once his contract was over they could put them back on. Maybe they’d go away somewhere. Maybe abroad. He’d try and pull some strings in the foreign company whose machinery they were installing.
Who wouldn’t have swallowed it all, you tell me. Common sense might have made her suspicious. But common sense always loses out to life. She was working in a cafeteria, and bam. Soup, main course, bam. Anyone who wanted could grab hold of her braid, but he lifted it on his outspread palm and weighed it to see if it was maybe made of gold. Common sense tells you to be wary of any love, because you never know where it might lead you. Common sense tells you you should be wary of yourself. But it isn’t people that create common sense for themselves. And what is common sense anyway? You tell me that. And I’ll tell you back that no one could survive in life by just following common sense. Common sense is all well and good … But all it really is, is what you say when you don’t know what else to say.
It’s too bad you didn’t know him, you could’ve warned her. You didn’t know him? Though she wouldn’t have believed you anyway, of that I’m sure. No one can ever be drawn away from love. And if you ask me, they shouldn’t be. When someone’s drawn away you never know where they’ll end up.