“You don’t think Suzanne Coates killed Lillian?” asked Beauvoir.
“I don’t know,” admitted the Chief. “But I suspect if Suzanne wanted to kill her she’d have done it sooner. And yet…” Gamache paused. “Did you notice her reaction when talking about the review?”
“She’s still angry,” said Lacoste.
Gamache nodded. “She’s spent twenty-three years in AA trying to get over her resentments, and she’s still angry. Can you imagine someone who hasn’t been trying? How angry they must be?”
Beauvoir picked up the review and stared at the joyous young woman.
What happened when not only hopes were dashed, but dreams and careers. A whole life? But of course, he knew the answer to that. They all did.
It was tacked on the wall behind them.
Jean Guy Beauvoir splashed water on his face and felt the stubble beneath his hands. It was two thirty in the morning and he couldn’t sleep. He’d woken with an ache, had lain in bed hoping it would go. But of course, it didn’t.
So he’d dragged himself up, and to the bathroom.
Now he turned his face this way and that. Staring at his reflection. The man in the mirror was drawn. With lines. Bold strokes of lines not created by laughter, around his eyes and mouth. Between his brows. On his forehead. He brought his hand up and stroked his cheeks, trying to iron out the wrinkles. But they wouldn’t go.
And now he bent closer. The stubble, in the bright glare of the B and B bathroom, was gray.
He turned his head to the side. There was gray at his temples. His whole head was shot through with gray. When had that happened?
My God, he thought. Is this what Annie sees? An old man? Worn and gray? Oh, God, he thought.
Annie and David are having difficulties. But too late.
Beauvoir walked back into the bedroom and sat on the side of the bed, staring into space. Then he slid his hand beneath the pillow and taking the top off the bottle he shook out a pill. It sat in the palm of his hand. Staring at it, slightly bleary, he closed his fist over it. Then he swiftly opened his hand and tossed the pill into his mouth, then chased it down with a gulp of water from the glass on the nightstand. Beauvoir waited. For the now familiar sensation. Slowly he began to feel the ache subside. But another, deeper hurt remained.
Jean Guy Beauvoir got dressed and quietly left the B and B, disappearing into the night.
Why hadn’t he seen it before?
Beauvoir leaned closer to the screen, shocked by what he saw. He’d watched the video hundreds of times. Over and over. He’d seen it all, every wretched frame, filmed by the cameras on the headgear.
Then how could he have missed this?
He hit replay, and watched again. Then hit replay, and watched again.
There he was, on the screen. Weapon out, aiming at a gunman. Suddenly he was shoved backward. His legs buckled. As Jean Guy watched, he saw himself fall to his knees. Then pitch forward face first onto the floor. He remembered that.
He could still see the filthy concrete floor rushing toward him. Still see the dirt, as his face smashed into it.
And then the pain. Indescribable pain. He’d clutched at his abdomen, but the pain was beyond his reach.
On the screen he heard a shout, “Jean Guy!” And then Gamache, assault rifle in hand, ran across the open factory floor. Grabbing him by the back of the tactical vest, he’d dragged Beauvoir behind a wall.
And then the intimate close-up. Of Beauvoir drifting in and out of consciousness. Of Gamache speaking to him, commanding him to stay awake. Bandaging him and holding his hand over the wound, to stanch the blood.
Of seeing the blood on the Chief’s hand. So much blood on his hands.
And then Gamache had leaned forward. And done something not meant to be seen by anyone else. He’d kissed Jean Guy on the forehead in a gesture so tender it was as shocking as the gunfire.
Then he left.
It wasn’t the kiss that stunned Beauvoir. It was what came after. Why hadn’t he ever seen it before? Of course, he’d seen it, but he’d never really recognized it for what it was.
Gamache had left him.
Alone.
To die.
He’d abandoned him, to die alone on a filthy factory floor.
Beauvoir hit replay, replay, replay. And in each, of course, the same thing happened.
Myrna was wrong. He wasn’t upset because he’d failed to save Gamache. He was angry because Gamache had failed to save him.
And the bottom dropped out from beneath Jean Guy Beauvoir.
Armand Gamache groaned and looked at the clock.
Three twelve.
His bed at the B and B was comfortable, the duvet warm around him as the cool night air drifted through the open window, bringing with it the hooting of an owl in the distance.
He lay in bed, pretending he was about to fall asleep.
Three eighteen.
It was rare now for him to wake in the middle of the night, but it still happened.
Three twenty-two.
Three twenty-seven.
Gamache resigned himself to the situation. Getting up, he threw on some clothes and tiptoed downstairs. Putting on his Barbour coat and a cap he left the B and B. The air was fresh and cool and now even the owl was quiet.
Nothing stirred. Except a homicide detective.
Gamache walked slowly, counter-clockwise, around the village green. The homes were still and dark. People asleep inside.
The three tall pines rustled slightly in the breeze.
Chief Inspector Gamache walked, his pace measured, his hands clasped behind his back. Clearing his mind. Not thinking about the case, trying, in fact, to not think about anything. Trying to just take in the fresh night air and the peace and quiet.
A few paces past Peter and Clara’s home he stopped and looked over the bridge, to the Incident Room. A light was on. Not bright. Barely even visible.
It wasn’t so much light he saw at the window as not dark.
Lacoste? he wondered. Had she found something and returned? Surely she’d wait until morning.
He walked across the bridge, toward the old railway station.
Looking through the window he could see that the light was a glow from one of their terminals. Someone was sitting in the dark in front of a computer.
He couldn’t quite see who. It looked like a man, but it was too far away and the person was in too much shadow.
Gamache didn’t have a gun. Never carried one, if he could help it. Instead, he’d automatically taken his reading glasses from the bedside table. He never went anywhere without tucking them into his pocket. In his opinion they were far more help, and more powerful, than any gun. Though he had to admit, they didn’t seem all that helpful right now. He briefly considered going back and rousing Beauvoir, but thought better of it. Whoever this was might be gone by then.
Chief Inspector Gamache tried the door. It was unlocked.
Slowly, slowly, he opened it. The door creaked and he held his breath, but the figure in front of the screen didn’t move. He seemed transfixed.
Finally Gamache had the door open enough to enter. Standing just inside he took everything in. Was the intruder alone, or were there more?
He scanned the dark corners, but saw no movement.
The Chief took a few more steps into the Incident Room, preparing to confront the person in front of the screen.
Then he saw what was on the monitor. Images flickered in the dark. Of Sûreté agents carrying automatic weapons, moving through a factory. As Gamache watched he saw Beauvoir hit. Beauvoir fall. And he saw himself racing across the cavernous room to get to him.
Whoever was at the screen was watching the pirated video. From the back the Chief could see the intruder had short hair and was slender. That much, and only that, Gamache could see.