A Village Affair

'I like to earn my way-'

'But you are! Why should anyone offer you this if they didn't think you'd be good at it? And good for us?'

And then Martin, in some confusion of feeling and propelled by an urgency he was suddenly quite unable to control, leaned forward and kissed her. He then put his arms round her and held her very hard against him and bent his head to kiss her again. She said, very quietly, 'No.'

He smiled at her. He thought he was in charge.

'Why no? I want to, you want-'

'Because,' Clodagh said, bending her head away, 'I love Alice. You see.'

He dropped his arms at once and turned away. He could feel his face grow fiery with shame and humiliation. He had broken his own rules.

He mumbled, 'So do I.'

'I know you do.'

'Sorry,' he said. 'Sorry. I don't know what came-'

'Shh,' she said. She came over and took his hand. 'Forget it.'

He thrust his chin out and removed his hand from hers.

'I think I will scramble my own eggs.'

Clodagh sighed.

'As you wish.'

She picked up the plate and the onion and took them back to the larder and returned with a wicker basket of eggs.

'I'll just feed Balloon.'

'It's all right,' Martin said, desperate both for her to go and for a drink.

'Martin,' Clodagh said, and her voice was kind, 'no big deal. It simply didn't happen,' and then she went out through the stable door and after a while he heard her car start up and drive away and then Balloon came and pleaded penetratingly for food.

Later, when he had poured himself a drink and fed the kitten, he went into his study and sat in the spring dusk and was very miserable. He was bitterly ashamed of himself, both for abusing Alice's absence and for choosing someone who, by her own admission, was capable of better loyalty to Alice than her own husband was. He tried to comfort himself by remembering how unresponsive Alice had been recently - it was literally weeks since they had made love - but it was thin comfort and he had no faith in it. He wondered if he was going to be able to face Sir Ralph on Saturday because he felt his folly might be written on his brow for all to see. Not only had he behaved badly, but he had been rebuffed and rebuked. Martin was not a flirtatious man because he didn't have the confidence to be one. He knew he feared rejection and that that fear made him unadventurous, and because he disliked very much being both unconfident and unenterprising and saw no way to remedy either, he sat in the deepening gloom and let his shame stagnate into bitterness. He had far too much whisky while this happened, and then grew maudlin, and wandered about the empty house and forgot his eggs altogether. He went over and over the little incident, foolishly and pointlessly, and finally went to bed in a very bad way indeed, forgetting to lock up downstairs so that Balloon, finding the larder door unsecured, levered his way in and achieved his ambition of three-quarters of a pound of monkfish.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Morning sunshine, coming in through the tall east windows of Pitcombe Park, fell upon the breakfast table, upon a jar of marmalade made by Mrs Shadwell the previous January, upon folded copies of The Times and the Doily Mail and upon a large biscuit tin bearing a Dymo-stamped label reading 'Her Ladyship's Ryvita'. Her Ladyship was not eating Ryvita. She was drinking a cup of coffee very slowly and trying very hard to concentrate on doing that, rather than on quarrelling with her husband.

The subject was Clodagh. The subject between them in the last six weeks had almost exclusively been Glodagh. At first they had been united in loving anxiety and relief at having her home, and then in approving pleasure over her friendship with The Grey House, but then Sir Ralph had begun to devise schemes to make it possible for Clodagh to remain at home, financial schemes, and what had been a mere crevice of difference between them had widened into a rift.

Margot Unwin loved her youngest daughter with quite as much energy as her husband did, but with more levelness of head. Clodagh's adolescence, a roller-coaster ride of scrapes and truancies and broken-hearted friends who always seemed more loving than loved, had made her mother aware that she needed, in riding parlance, a short rein. Clodagh's elder brother and sister had both been quite safe on longer reins, being more orthodox, less volatile and much duller, and Sir Ralph had always persisted in believing that Clodagh, left to herself, would emerge as tractable and conventional as young Ralph and Georgina had done. Attempt to coerce Clodagh into anything, he had always maintained, and it's like throwing a lighted match into a barrel of gunpowder; give her all the space she needs and she will come, in her own time, as good as anyone could wish.

'Don't,' Margot Unwin said, 'say gunpowder to me again.'

'Sorry,' Sir Ralph said, faintly huffy. He had grown fond of the image, over the years. 'I am only trying to illustrate what I believe.'

'I know what you believe.'

Sir Ralph began to butter toast vigorously.

'And I'm right. Her coming home from America proves I'm right. She couldn't, she found, be as bohemian as she thought she could, so she came home, very sensibly.'

'I don't think,' Margot said, putting down her coffee cup, 'you could call being half-engaged to an immensely successful American lawyer very bohemian. I suppose you mean it was bohemian of them to live together. And it wasn't sense that brought Clodagh home, it was the need of refuge-'

There was a knock and the door opened. Shadwell and two liver and white springer spaniels looked in.

'Mr Dunne's here, sir. And Mr Jordan. I've put them in the library. Mr Dunne said not to hurry as he knows he's early.'

'Thank you, Shadwell.'

The door closed. Sir Ralph rose and shook out his huge napkin like a sail cracking in the wind.

'We'll talk about this later, Margot.'

She did not move, but she said in her most commandingcommittee voice, 'You must know, Ralph, that I absolutely disapprove of what you are about to suggest to Henry. It is quite wrong. It is unfair to young Ralph and to Georgina and it will be disastrous for Glodagh. I may not be physically present at the meeting, but my astral self will be.' She paused, and then added, 'Very forcibly.'

And then she picked up the Daily Mail, shook it flat and, with the skill of long practice, opened it at Nigel Dempster.

'Who are all those?'

Henry Dunne squinted up at the marble busts along the top of the library bookshelves.

'Roman emperors, I think.'

'Heavens,' Martin said, 'fieol?'

'Oh yes, Grand Tour stuff. This room was done about seventeen-eighty.'

'It's amazing-'

'It's lovely,' Henry said, with the carelessness of one quite familiar with amazingness, 'isn't it?'

It was a long room, with three floor-length windows at one end, lined entirely with books. Over the books at one end was pinned a huge map of the estate. By the windows a vast partner's desk was heaped with papers, and parallel to the fireplace an amiable elderly red leather sofa faced a handsome portrait of the Unwin who had made the room and furnished its corners with a marble goddess, a Roman senator and a bronze, after Flaxman, of St Michael slaying Satan. The rest of the room was comfortingly filled with map cases and loaded tables and dog baskets. Here and there enormous hippeastrums reared out of Oriental urns, and turned their majestic striped trumpets to the light. The air of the room smelt of man and dog and polished leather and history. Martin sniffed. This, he thought in the phrase he had once used to himself about Alice, this is something.

Sir Ralph and two spaniels came in on a benevolent tide of greeting. He was carrying a file of papers and was followed by Shadwell with a tray of coffee. They sat down round the fire after shaking hands, and the third baronet looked down on them from his place on the overmantel panelling as he had looked down for two hundred years already. Sir Ralph waved an introductory hand towards him.