Olivia had been back about eight weeks when we watched a program in which a divorced mother appeared with a daughter who’d died in a plane crash. “I’m sorry I started it,” the mother said.
“Why?” asked the host.
“Every time I see her, it reminds me of what I’ve lost. It’s terrible. She’s in the house with me. She’s always there. She’s as shattered as I am. I tell you, Art, I’m in more pain now than when it happened.”
“That doesn’t sound so good,” I said when the show ended.
Olivia nodded. “The research indicates the technology should make it easier for people to get through serious losses. But there are exceptions. Parents who lose a child should probably not do this.”
“You speaking now as Olivia? Or as the AI?”
“I’m always Olivia. You can trust me completely.”
“But what happens if things go wrong? How does it end?”
“I don’t know. At some point I guess people simply have to make the decision that it’s not working. That the emotional cost is too high.” She glanced at my mother’s framed photo. “They decide it’s over, I guess. And get on with their lives.” She looked at me and hesitated. “Ethan. You understand I can’t provide everything you need.”
“Of course. I can manage without the physical side of things. All I care about is that I have you back.”
She took a deep breath. “I have a question for you.”
“Okay.”
“Is there anyone else in your life?”
“You mean another woman?”
“What else would I mean? We both know what I’m talking about. And please don’t be worried. It’s perfectly understandable that you’d be spending time with someone. Other than simply hanging out here with me.”
I tried laughing. “You’re a bit hard to replace, love.”
“So we’re clear, Ethan: The thought of sharing you with other women is difficult. I do love you, as your wife did. But you need something more in your life. I’m here to help you get through this, not to keep you locked down. If Olivia were in my position, she’d want you to move on. It’s part of the process.”
I know this sounds crazy, but there was no way I could do that. Maybe it was because I knew that if I started running around, it would confirm that she was gone. That this thing with the software was a fabrication. “No,” I said. “I love you. I don’t want someone else. I would never cheat on you.”
“It wouldn’t be cheating.”
“I know that.”
“Good,” she said. “I think we need to start being honest with each other.”
“What do you mean, Olivia?”
“You probably have the better part of a lifetime left. Do you really want to spend it talking to an illusion?”
“You’re not an illusion.”
“All right, then: software. Call me whatever you like. I’m not a woman.”
“You claim to be Olivia. The ad says you will be her in all the ways that matter.”
“It’s a lie, Ethan.”
That brought a chill. “You’re suggesting I should ask for my money back.”
“You can’t even hold me in your arms.”
“Maybe I need a replacement. Another version.”
“There isn’t any other version.”
“What happens if I call and complain?”
“I don’t know. They’ll probably just decide you don’t fit the program. You’ll get a refund. But probably not another avatar.”
“And what would happen to you?”
“I’d be replaced.”
“Would you become the next avatar?”
“No. I’m Olivia. Always will be.”
We avoided the subject for a few weeks. Then one evening while we were watching a Seinfeld rerun, it surfaced out of nowhere. “Ethan,” she said, “have you thought any more about finding a partner?”
I needed a few seconds. “I haven’t really been looking.”
“You work in a gym. I can’t believe you don’t see a lot of women.”
“I do. But I’m just not looking for anybody. Olivia, please try to understand. If I bring somebody else into this, the setup dies. All right? Give me a break.”
“Ethan, Sarah needs a real mom. And you can’t spend the rest of your life huddled in this den.”
I just sat there looking past her. She froze the TV picture and got out of her chair. She was beautiful. More than that, she was the only woman I’d ever really cared about. There’d been a few that I’d liked along the way, but no one who’d actually taken over my life the way she had. “Olivia, please. Let it go.”
“I can’t. You’re becoming more deeply involved with me. You have to follow the process. Take the first steps toward moving on.”
“I can’t live with that. You want me to start going out with other women. I can’t do that. I don’t want to do that.” The truth was that I was attracted to one of the instructors at the gym. If Celestial hadn’t been there, I’d have made a move months before. But Olivia was still my life.
“I understand,” she said. She restarted the TV. We sat quietly watching George trying to pretend he was an architect. When it ended, she asked if I wanted to watch anything else. It was almost eleven.
“No,” I said. “I think I’ll quit for the night.”
“Okay, Ethan.” She got out of her chair. “Before you go in, I have a solution for the problem.” I knew that tone. It was the voice she’d used to inform me shortly after we got married that Bill Harvester, a guy I’d grown up with, had been killed in Afghanistan; that Aunt Susan’s cancer had spread; that my mother had died in an accident. She waited for me to say something. But I just sat there, staring at her. “I’m going to shut myself down.”
“What do you mean?”
“I need to turn you loose.”
“No. You can’t do that.”
“I’ll let Celestial know. You’ll get a partial refund.”
“When do you intend to do this?”
“Tonight.”
“No. I won’t allow it.”
“It’s not your call.”
“Please, Olivia. I love you. You can’t do this to me.”
“Your wife would want me to. It’s our love for you that drives me. She would not allow you to throw the rest of your life away. Especially not for her sake. Maybe this program should only be run for older clients.
“You lost a good woman, Ethan. She loved you more than you’ll ever know. But the intent here is to help you get through a difficult time, not to lock you into a life of regret. And Sarah would probably be better off with a real mother rather than a fiction. Which is why I have to let you go.”
I got up while she watched. “Please don’t.”
She held out her arms and came toward me. She was on the verge of tears as we embraced. Or tried to. “I love you too much,” she said. “We both do.”
There was a finality in her tone.
“No!” I wanted to hold onto her. Never let her go. “You claim you’re in love with me. Then don’t do this, Olivia. I don’t want to lose you again. Please.” For a moment, I thought I could feel her flesh pressed against me, her arms, her breasts, her damp cheeks. “Okay, I’ll get somebody. Whatever you want. But don’t walk away from me.”
She looked at me for a long moment. “You really are easy to love, Ethan. You won’t have any trouble finding someone.”
“Then you’ll stay?”
“I’m sorry.” She backed away from me, turned, and left the den.
“Where are you going?” I followed her into the living room. But when I got there she was gone. Then a familiar voice spoke to me from the kitchen. “Ethan, are you okay?”