“It is wrong, querida, for you to think of these men as snakes in the grass. When I was young I used to complain in that way. I was wrong. You must not encourage Leander and Francisco to expect more from men than they should expect. You must not talk to them about snakes in the grass. These men, Cochrane, Maitland, Hislop, owe me no loyalty. A mutual interest draws us together. When there is no interest, we will pull apart. There will be no immorality or disloyalty in pulling apart. If you don’t start thinking like that, querida, you will eat yourself up. You will be in a perpetual moral frenzy in which you will condemn everybody except yourself, and people would start wondering what it is about you they don’t like. It is something I’ve talked to you about. I think it is most noticeable in your attitude to certain members of your family.
“As for Turnbull, he is my oldest friend. We met more than thirty years ago in Gibraltar, when he was a young factor and I was a captain, and we have been friends ever since. Whatever happens now, he will have regard for me afterwards, and I for him. I will not find people like Turnbull and Rutherfurd again. The time for that kind of friendship is past. If Turnbull gets impatient with me, I get impatient with myself. A friend doesn’t have to watch his words always. Don’t be suspicious of him. Don’t be unhappy about him. I write this only because, as you know, I am worried about your nerves.
“My serial letter, or my letter-journal, never stops. I speak to you constantly in my mind. I report everything to you, sometimes very small things, because I love your love. You have almost become my waking mind. But not everything I speak I will write.
“We are about to go now. The ships are ready. I will not be on the Leander. I will be on H.M.S. Lily. This is Cochrane’s idea: he thinks that if there is a battle the Spaniards will go for the Leander, which flies American colours and is known to be my ship. The men are as prepared as they will ever be. But — this is something I wouldn’t write, and want no one to know — my spirits are low.
“A second Spanish letter was thrown yesterday in the sentry box here (and Bernard later sent a copy of the same letter that had been left at the Council room). This one is about the big thanksgiving service they held in the Metropolitan Church of Caracas for the capture of the Bee and the Bacchus, and about the sentences at Puerto Cabello on the fifty-eight men. Sixteen days ago they were all taken out in ankle fetters to the prison yard and made to kneel down while their sentences were read to them. The ten officers were to be hanged. All the others were sentenced to eight or ten years in prison with hard labour. They are to sleep on beds of stone, with pillows of brick, and they are to wear twenty-five-pound chains. The ten executions took place seven days ago. I know that the Spaniards would have hurried through the legal process so that all this news could get to me before this second attempt.
“It would be nice if the details were exaggerated. But I know they are not. The scaffold was outside the prison gate. The ten men, in white gowns and white caps and in leg-irons, were led out to it. After each man was dropped the hangman, a Negro, slid down the rope and sat on the shoulders of the hanged man. The bodies were then decapitated and cut into quarters. The quarters were heaped together with the uniforms and arms of the dead men, covered with the torn-up scraps of my Colombian flag, and set alight. I knew that they were going to do some special dishonour to the flag you made in Grafton Street, Sally. But I won’t tell you.
“The atmosphere of the Inquisition, my revolution treated as heresy — it is more undermining than I would have thought. If I, at one time, knew how to wound them, they still know how to trouble me. One of my first thoughts, when I read this letter, was that I had done the right thing to have the boys baptized. When I was thirty-five or so, and after just fifteen years abroad, when I was in the United States and then when I was in Russia, the whole world of my early years in Venezuela seemed very far away, seemed to be part of another life. I felt I had forgotten so much. Now it’s as though I’ve never left, as though 1771 was last year.”
• • •
“MY DEAR Sir, We are in such a State here. My uncle has just brought back six copies of your Picture from Mr. Holland the Printseiler. My uncle says the engraver should have done better but these people have to do too much and they cut corners and they don’t try to understand the work they are copying, before they finish one job theyre looking for the next one. The picture shows the Crown in the Clouds above your head and my uncle says it is poor work that crown, badly drawn but people don’t care. He says the picture is in Mr. Holland’s window and people stop and look at the crown and wonder so perhaps Mr. Holland knows his business. But the deseat of these London tradesmen my dear Sir they give no Credit to my uncle for the picture which he did at the small table in the Front Library. They say it is done from the life by their artist with the Navy in the Barbadoes my Uncle says it’s the kind of thing they always say. Below your picture they have engraved the names of the ships of your little fleet My dear Sir. What a fleet my dear Gen I never had the least idea. We daily wait to hear good news. What pretty names your ships have Lily Attentive Bulldog Trimmer Mastiff. I cannot tell you how Excited Leander is that one ship has his name, he pulls his toy ship on its wooden block all over the house and he says Mamy I will take my ship, and go to the Genl. When I tell him that the ocean is very big and his ship wouldnt sail very far he says Mamy I will buy a bigger ship and go and fight for the G. He reads his book well and he promises not to trouble little brother who is now sleeping and is as pretty as your picture My own dear General. These are their happiest days my dear Sir.”
“OH, SARAH. We are separated by more than the ocean. We are separated by time, by three to four months. You write about things here as they were four months ago, and what I write now you will read in two months. I don’t know what will have happened by then. It’s failed, Sarah. The whole thing failed. You were right. The people in London let me down at the last moment. They withdrew their support. And I’m back in Trinidad.
“I am not at Government House. Officially I have no position here. I have no headquarters. I am a private person, and while I am here I must give up all attempts to revolutionize the continent. On the morning I arrived I went to call on Hislop. He couldn’t pretend he didn’t know me, but he behaved as though he knew nothing about what I had been doing. When I asked for permission to stay, he said it was out of his hands. He said the merchants didn’t want me to land. They had made a petition to him. They said that for six months they had been cut off from trade with the Main because of me, and they were being ruined for nothing at all. The petition was going to be debated that very morning in the Council. Hislop thought I should attend the meeting. I suppose that was friendly advice. If I hadn’t gone, perhaps Bernard wouldn’t have spoken up for me as he did, and if Bernard hadn’t spoken up, the vote would have gone against me. Hislop would have been full of regrets, of course, but I would have had to leave. Heaven knows where I would have been now.
“And things seemed to be going so well in the beginning, Sally. Ah, those good beginnings! I’ve had so many of them. How they encourage, and at the same time how they unsettle! We sailed without interference to the town of Coro. We fired at the fort. There was some return fire and then the Spanish soldiers withdrew. We landed and entered the town with no trouble. Just three men wounded. Then we found there was nothing to celebrate. We had entered an empty town. Not a soul. The Venezuelan agents in Trinidad had done their work well. They knew our strength, and exactly where we were going to land, and they knew that the British were only going to support us from the sea.