Doesn’t matter.
Of course, the reporters were all saying Harris was murdered. Jesse considered what he’d done that night was self-defense at its most elemental and pure.
Cal slowly rubbed his wrists and ankles where the rope had cut deep into his fair skin. “I will die, anyway, won’t I?” His tone was surprisingly matter-of-fact. “Sooner or later, I’ll pay for my sins.”
“We all pay for our sins.”
With the passage of the cold front yesterday, the air was downright chilly. Jesse could have slept for hours, if not for Cal gagged and bound a few feet from him. Awake, Jesse had his assault knife to keep his prisoner in line. Asleep, he needed Cal quiet and immobile.
“Oh, God.” Cal abruptly rolled onto the knees and vomited into the dirt, moaning as he finished up and sat back on his heels, his face ashen. “Damn you to hell, Jesse. Harris was right about you. You are the devil.”
“We had a good arrangement, Cal. You profited, Harris profited, I profited.”
“But for how long? You’d never take your million and go way. You’d be back for more. You wouldn’t be satisfied, and I’d get in deeper and deeper, until one day I found myself in the middle of a scandal, just like Harris.” Cal’s voice croaked, and he spat again. He looked haggard, his lips cracked dry from the gag. “I didn’t want to end up like him.”
Jesse thought of the way he’d left Harris at the rooming house. “That I can understand, but you should have come to me, talked to me. Treated me like an equal, a partner, instead of something you wanted to scrape off the bottom of your shoe.”
“I don’t have any intention of keeping one cent of your money. The rest is just to make sure you go away and never come back.”
Jesse opened up a plastic water bottle and handed it to Cal. “Don’t drink too fast. You’ll throw up again.”
“Do you think I care?” But he drank, water spilling down his chin like drool, and he didn’t stop until he’d drained the bottle. He tossed it aside, not bothering to wipe his mouth. “I wish I’d run you over on the street when I first met you.”
“Yes, well, you didn’t,” Jesse said. “Stop thinking about jumping me now. You’re in no condition, and I’ll kill you.”
“If you kill me, you won’t get your damn money or anything else.”
“Your ex-wife -”
“Bernadette doesn’t know anything. Just leave her out of this mess.”
“You’re trying to make sure I don’t throw you over a cliff and rely on the sainted Judge Peacham instead. You don’t care what happens to her. Don’t pretend you do.”
Cal’s eyes darkened. “Did you kill that poor girl in Washington?”
“Your little blonde? Why would I kill her?”
“For leverage. If there’s one thing you understand, Jesse, it’s leverage.”
“True.”
Jesse reached into his pack and produced a protein bar – peanut butter and chocolate chip. Not his favorite, but he tore it open and took a bite. He had his knife tucked in his belt. One wrong move by Cal, and Jesse would cut him and enjoy doing it. The guy was scum.
The protein bar was dry and purely utilitarian. He loved the stripped-down life the mountains required. No distractions, no excesses. The ability to survive was all that mattered up here. He took another bite of the bar and drank some water.
“Don’t think I don’t know you, Cal,” he said. “I’m a great observer of people. That’s how I make my money. You’re bored.”
“I’m fighting for my life and you think I’m bored?”
“You brought your women to New Hampshire because you were bored with the status quo. Bored with yourself. You let your boredom turn into anger and recklessness. Why do you think you hooked up with me in the first place?” Jesse took another drink, then gestured at Cal with the water bottle. “Boredom.”
“No, Jesse. I hooked up with you because you and Harris threatened to expose me. I wish the hell I’d let you. You didn’t want money from me – you wanted access and information. You’ve been squeezing Harris for years, but the very weaknesses you exploited finally got the better of him. So you pressured him into getting you someone new.” Cal touched a fingertip to a cracked spot on the corner of his mouth that had turned bloody. “Me.”
Jesse shook his head. “You didn’t walk away, did you? And you know why?”
“Boredom?” Cal snorted. “I’m not bored, you son of a bitch. I’m scared. If you don’t kill me, the damn FBI will toss my ass in prison.”
“Have a little faith.” Jesse felt his smile become distant, nasty. “Lucky you didn’t try to make your own deal with the FBI.”
“Harris…” Cal turned pale, and the cockiness went out of his voice. “Jesse – what have you done to him?”
Jesse didn’t respond. Harris and Cal’s betrayal had set off something in him. But that wasn’t all. Being in Cold Ridge had tripped a switch deep inside him, reminding him of the first time he’d come to the White Mountains as an isolated, angry, frightened young man. He’d had to get control of the violence that raged inside him. He’d had to find a way to make it work for him.
And here he was again, taking risks, telling himself he had to be bold – that boldness had always worked for him.
He thought about Mackenzie Stewart and felt an urge to see her, talk to her, hear her voice. He pictured her blue eyes, her creamy skin, the spray of freckles across her nose. How could she have become a marshal?
“Never mind,” Cal said quietly. “I don’t need to know about Harris.”
Eventually, Harris had recognized Jesse’s capacity for violence, but not Cal. The dossier he and Harris had put together on their partner in crime didn’t include that aspect of Jesse’s life.
Even after spending a night tied up and gagged, Jesse thought, Cal Benton would find a way to believe he had the upper hand and was dealing with a man who, ultimately, would make a deal with him.
“You need to pull out,” Cal said. “Go back to Mexico and let me wire you your money. It’s too risky now to force me to do anything. You’ve got the FBI, the marshals and local and state police on your ass. Trust me to keep up my end of our bargain.”
“Your bargain. I never agreed to anything.”
“Come on, Jesse. It’s an easy million for you -”
“Not easy. I worked for that money. It’s mine.”
Cal gulped in a breath. “Things have changed. For both of us. We need to reassess our situation.”
“You’re arrogant, but you’re not as smart as you think you are. You like the action, Cal.” Jesse finished the last of his protein bar. “You’re like me in a lot of ways.”
“What you’re doing now will destroy both of us. Jesse, you’re a smart man. You’re good at what you do. Why risk everything?”
“My million’s here in New Hampshire, isn’t it, Cal?”
He didn’t respond. Squinting, he gazed out across the mountains, a cold breeze lifting the ends of his thin air.
“I was right to come up here last week.”
Cal looked at him, even paler now. “What?”
Jesse got up, wishing he’d had more sleep last night. Three hours would have to do. “On your feet, Cal. We’ve got some rough hiking to do before we get to the lake.”
“Jesse – was Harris right?”
“Am I the devil, you mean?”
“It was you who attacked Mackenzie.”
“Don’t be so taken aback, Cal. She fought hard. I underestimated her. In fact, if she hadn’t just come from the lake, she’d have had me.”