I nodded, and I swear my neck didn’t have bones. What was in that needle?
“You have to rest,” Pace said.
“I don’t trust Zenn,” I blurted. “Or Thane.” I leaned in closer, as if we could share secrets in this tiny compound where we all slept on top of each other and every hallway echoed with conversations. “What about the clones?”
Pace slid my arm over his shoulders. “Come on, bro, time for bed.”
I was beyond tired. I thought I might actually be able to sleep tonight too, because I’d told Vi all about the capsule and I didn’t have to live with that alone and Thane wasn’t going anywhere and—
My knees hit stone as my legs buckled. I heard Pace’s voice, but it ricocheted from far away. I felt Vi’s lips against mine, but that might’ve been my imagination.
I moved like I was in water up to my chest. Someone held on to me. Someone who smelled like meds and flowers. I heard a girl say, “Clones? What’s he talking about, Pace?”
I tried to hold on to consciousness, but it slipped through my fingers like smoke.
Images drifted through my mind. Neat rows of flowers and white picket fences. Green lawns and laughing children. Families playing in the park and friends ordering coffee on Saturday mornings.
Freedom: what life would be like without Thinkers.
I finally submitted to sleep with a smile on my face.
Zenn
16.
Jag lay in his bedroom, his mouth hanging half open, snoring. I knew the guy wasn’t perfect, and now I had proof.
I stood watching him longer than necessary, imagining his mouth against Vi’s. Gunner drew me out of that crazy-bad place.
“Zenn, Raine wants to see you. Oh, and we’re leaving in the morning for Lakehead.”
“Already? I just got back.” I’d signed up for the traveling team, but I still wanted more than eight hours on the ground. A large part of me wanted to fly with Saffediene again. I wondered how obvious it would be if I asked to go with her instead of Gunn.
He clapped his hand on my shoulder. “Well, welcome back. Come on.” He left me standing there, still staring at Jag.
I found Gunn in Raine’s room. They sat in comfortable silence, clearly caching it up. I almost felt like I was intruding, until Raine’s face lit up. She jumped up and hugged me.
Zenn, she chatted. You look awful.
Thanks a lot. Using my cache felt strange, yet perfectly familiar, especially with Raine. I still had a blip of fear about who would be listening before I remembered that I wasn’t linked in to Freedom’s network anymore.
No one was listening.
No one cared.
She grinned. You know I mean that in a good way.
Sure, sure, I cached, but I was smiling too.
Tell us about Harvest, Gunn’s voice joined the convo, and my smile faltered at his choice of topics.
I didn’t know what info to give about what had gone down in Harvest. Saffediene and I hadn’t talked about the riot or if we were going to tell anyone. Our mission with Director Benes had gone off without a hitch.
Did the Resistance need to know about everything that happened there? I didn’t know anything about transportation disputes, and surely our people would be ready to fight the Thinkers when we needed them.
Everything went as planned, I chatted. Technically it wasn’t a lie, so I didn’t feel guilty, which is usually how people get caught lying. Director Benes is solid.
Raine looked more alive today. She at least knew my name. “How are you doing?” I asked her.
“Good,” she said, reaching for Gunn’s hand with her gloved one. “I can remember my name now. And Gunn’s, and yours, and Jag’s. Gunner’s been quizzing me for hours.” She smiled at him, but the edges quivered, like she might be embarrassed she couldn’t recall the details of her life.
“That’s great,” I said. I wouldn’t want to be shown pictures and be able to recognize the faces but unable to recall names. I wouldn’t want my memory erased, no matter how painful some of it was. “What happened after you helped us escape?”
“Is this my official report?” she asked.
“Sure,” I said. “I’m second-in-command. I can take your report.”
She smirked. “Second-in-command. Zenn, please. You’re not second.”
“Third?” I joked.
“First,” she said.
“Oh, no,” I said, my voice full of mock seriousness. “Jag is forever first.” The exchange almost called for laughter. Both Raine and Gunn knew how much I’d lost when we’d busted Jag out of prison. And neither of them pretend very well.
“I’m sorry,” Raine said.
Somehow her apology boosted my mood. I wouldn’t say losing Vi to Jag was okay, because it wasn’t. Technically it sucked big-time. I shrugged. “Voices are never nobody, right?”
“Right,” Gunner said.
“So, let’s hear what you can remember,” I said to Raine. “Gunn, you want to record it?”
“Sure,” he said, and blinked to turn on his cache.
Raine suddenly looked like a shell of herself. “I remember the blood the most.”
From there, she detailed how she’d held on to her father’s face for as long as she could. How the sirens sounded like screams, how the rain came and erased so much more than the filth from her hands.
“The next thing I knew, I was attending class on the Fourth Level, and everyone was calling me Arena. The name never quite fit, but I couldn’t remember anything else.”
“What about Cannon?” Gunn asked. Cannon had been Raine’s match and best friend in Freedom.
“Who’s Cannon?” she asked. Gunn and I exchanged a glance.
“I can tell you later,” Gunn said. “Let’s continue with the report for now.”
“I went to genetics and biology in the morning. In the afternoons I worked in the Evolutionary Rise in an analysis lab, or in Rise One with my guardian—” She cleared her throat. “I mean, my father—Van Hightower.”
“What did you do in the Evolutionary Rise, specifically?” I asked. Gunner shifted nervously, a signal I’d grown to recognize when he was being secretive. He knew something about the Evolutionary Rise. I knew what the scientists were trying to do there: produce clones.
“The analysis lab where I worked was testing blood for abnormalities. Diseases I could barely remember the name of at the time. I didn’t do very well there. And I was failing biology. I couldn’t remember taking any bio courses before.” She hung her head as if she should be ashamed. In her semi-Modified state, she probably was.
“You’d never taken bio,” Gunn said. “You told me you were taking it next term.” He squeezed her hand, and when she looked at him, hope shone in her eyes.
“I remember now. You showed me the stars.” A smile played at her lips.
“Yes,” Gunn said. “You asked me to—”
“Name an animal, and I’d tell you which kingdom it belonged in,” Raine said. “I remember.” The grin bloomed across her face, making her appear healthier. More alive.
“That’s great,” I said. “What did you do in Rise One?”
“Drains,” she said, her joy over her recovered memories fading into seriousness. Gunner shot me a look filled with caution.
“How many?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes every day.”
“One or two or three a day?”
“I couldn’t handle more than one. If I had to drain someone, I got the rest of the day off. I almost—” She swallowed hard. “I almost liked doing them.” Her voice ghosted into silence.
“It’s okay, Raine,” Gunn murmured.
“I wasn’t tied down,” she said. Suddenly her eyes grew wide. She moaned like a frightened animal. “I used to be strapped down during the drains.” Her eyes rapidly shifted between me and Gunner. “Didn’t I?”