And then I knew. Vi had given herself in order to control others. Please stay with me. Don’t drop me. I love you, love you, love you.
I lowered her to the board and crouched over her still form. I would stay with her until the end, whenever that may be.
I navigated the board through the fray, following the guard as he annihilated those around him. When taser fire hit my board, I ignored the pain in my chest even though the heat reminded me of the fires I’d seen on the propaganda vids. The crackle of flames sounded in my ears though the night sky wasn’t filled with fire.
Something sliced through my right arm, but I pressed my bleeding wrist to my side and kept navigating after the guard. I leaned over Vi’s body and voice-ordered anyone who got too close to turn themselves in at the camps.
I glanced at Vi’s body. Drops of blood decorated her face. My heart leapt in fear—had she been hit? Then I realized the blood was dripping from a gash that ran from my wrist to my elbow. The pain was held at bay by the adrenaline pumping through me. My board bucked, sharp heat exploded in my chest, and in the distance, I heard someone call my name.
It sounded like my father, but I knew that was wishful thinking. I ignored the voice—and the pain rising through my body—and kept following the guard. Minutes or hours later the officer finally turned to look at me. His chest heaved with the effort it took to breathe. I knew exactly how he felt. I pressed my hand to my heart and felt a sticky warmth there.
“Go,” he said, and then his body crumpled to his board.
I could barely support my own weight. I couldn’t get enough air. Vi was soaked with blood, and so was I.
“Rise Twelve,” I croaked.
“Whoa. Are you guys okay?” a girl asked.
“She took control of someone’s body,” I said as we hit the roof hard. I rolled onto my back, still cradling Vi in my arms. My breathing was ragged and sounded wet. “She told me what she was doing. She told me not leave her.” I sucked in another breath and looked into Starr’s eyes. “I didn’t leave her.”
“You need medical attention,” Starr said. “Go get help; I’ll take care of Vi.”
I shook my head, which felt detached from my body. “No, I’m staying with her. She asked me to stay with her.”
“Go get Fret,” Starr said to someone I couldn’t see.
“Yes, Fret. I need to see my brother.” I sighed as another grenade exploded nearby. Its light illuminated two people riding one hoverboard, but I didn’t give them much thought.
My legs, my arms, my face—nothing even hurt. I had Vi. She loved me. Jag had charged me with her care. His trust meant more than my life, which I felt slipping through my fingers like water.
Fret held his fingers to my throat. “Brother,” he said. “We need to get him inside.”
“How’d you get here?” I asked, unable to move.
“I brought over two thousand people from Harvest. Trek contacted us. We now have more Insiders than Darke has clones.”
I didn’t respond. My head hurt too much and I didn’t know what to say.
“Please, Zenn—”
“Did you know Dad is dead?” I blurted out. I turned my head toward him and found the truth in his downcast eyes. “You did. Why didn’t you tell me? In Castledale, you could’ve told me.”
“I didn’t want to be the one to bring him up,” Fret said. “I regret it. I’m sorry.”
“That was—” I cut off, afraid to voice what I truly thought. That Fret was a coward. That he’d known Dad had loved me more. That he should’ve told me, no matter what.
A cheer rose from the crowd in the sky. I didn’t share their joy. I felt so, so tired.
“I miss you,” I said. I coughed, and tasted blood. Fret had done a lot for the Resistance. Father had never seen the value in Fret’s contributions because Fret had no talent. I hadn’t either—until now. Fret’s influence—however small—over thousands of people had brought help to Freedom. Help when we needed it most.
“I miss you too, brother,” he said. “You’ll be okay, you’ll see.” His voice cracked on the last word.
Another grenade explosion brightened the sky. I saw someone fall. “Take Vi inside,” I whispered. “Please.”
Vi woke as Fret attempted to remove my arms from around her. I still couldn’t move. She leaned over me, tears filling her beautiful eyes. “Zenn, oh no. Please.” Her hands hovered above me, not quite touching me, but flitting around like they wanted to.
“I love you,” I whispered again.
She bent closer and kissed me quickly on the mouth. “You’re my best friend,” she said. “I can’t—you can’t—” Then her tears fell, splashing against my face and neck. She cradled my face in her hands.
At her touch, I closed my eyes and focused on breathing. It was so, so hard.
Around me, people seem to be crying. Raine and Gunn. Trek and Fret. Jag.
Saffediene howls into the night, and strangely it’s Vi who comforts her. She’s sobbing too and hugging Saffediene like if she lets go, they’ll both shatter.
In the dark, I smile. I feel like I’ve come home. Saffediene was right. No matter what I’ve done, I can come back to these people and they’ll forgive me. Because they’re my friends. I’ve been through so much with each of them, experienced some of the best times and some of the worst. They accept me. And I finally know which society is better.
Finally, I am free.
Jag
57.
The conference room in Rise Twelve has seen better days. The sun streams into the room, and the table is filled with bottles of water and bags of food. It’s lunchtime, and I’ve gathered everyone for a debriefing before we send traveling teams to key cities in the Association.
“Our losses include River Isaacs, Thane Myers, and Laurel Woods,” I say, my voice tight with emotion. “I will file a full report on Thane’s death, as he gave his life to spare mine and to ensure the success of this mission.”
Next to me, Vi stares straight ahead. “Zenn Bower died,” she says. “Flying with my additional weight was difficult for him, and he took many hits before we made it back to Rise Twelve.”
I squeeze her hand, but it’s not enough to ease her grief. I’ve felt the pain of losing two parents in the same day, and there is never enough happiness to fill that void. Not now, not ever.
And with the loss of Zenn too? I suspect Vi will never heal completely. Sure, time dulls the pain, but there’s always something that brings it back to the surface. She has me. I’ll help her keep that pain at bay. Blaze and Pace had done the same for me many times. Both my brothers are dead. I grip Vi’s hand too tight as the breath leaves my body. I will have to learn to rely on her for the comfort Blaze and Pace once gave.
I meet her eyes, and she raises her eyebrows in a silent question: Are you okay?
I might never be okay, but I simply nod. For now, I’m still alive.
And we won.
Irvine weeps silently into his hands, once again reminding me that our victory has a steep price. I’ll never get to explain myself to Indy. Never get to say good-bye. I clear my throat in an attempt to push back the grief at losing her without making things right between us.
“Traveling teams will leave tomorrow at first light,” I say. “Who feels like they can volunteer for these missions?” I’m through assigning, and I don’t expect anyone to raise their hands.