The Insiders had a hideout in the Western Blocks, and that would be our destination. I crouched low, satisfied when Vi copied me. We flew at treetop level, dodging the occasional rogue limb that grew higher than the others.
“We need to get to the Blocks,” I said.
If she didn’t know what that meant, she didn’t show it. One of the many things I loved about Vi. She was as unafraid as they come. Fiercely determined. And crazy-quick at improvising.
The faintest of sounds met my ears. I whipped around to find Saffediene and Gunner zooming behind us. Part of me rejoiced to see them and another part groaned at the large target the four of us created.
Shouts filled the air. The crackle of tasers followed, their super-hot light made it look like lightning had struck the orchard. I saw hoverboards with dark shapes flying in all directions.
“We’ve gotta get out of here!” I yelled to Gunn. “Block Twenty-Four!”
He waved his arm to show he heard me.
“Vi, let’s get down under cover,” I said. She nosed her board into the trees.
We flew.
Reaching the outer Blocks took forever. I thought for sure midnight had come and gone. At least we’d left behind the debilitating spark of the tasers.
We’d taken to the ground an hour earlier in an effort to save the energy in our boards. I rounded the corner and entered an alley between two buildings, sure I’d see the familiar sight of Block Twenty—which had a tunnel to Twenty-Four.
I didn’t. I swore under my breath, and Vi caught my eye. She couldn’t help me navigate the city; she’d spent the majority of her time in Freedom under the influence of Thane’s voice. Or mine. Or both.
Sometimes the guilt crippled me. Sadness pooled in my chest, right where my heart struggled to beat against it.
We both looked helplessly to Gunner, because he grew up in the Blocks and should be able to determine where we were. Saffediene kept her back to us, scoping out the possible danger behind us.
“Block Thirty,” Gunn said, peering down the alley. “We’re too far north.” He twisted back the way we came.
“No,” Saffediene said. “This is Twenty.”
Gunner’s face remained unreadable, except for the tiny muscle below his right eye, which twitched once. “I think it’s Thirty. See the water tower? Those were built in the Upper Blocks.”
Saffediene followed his pointed finger before pulling her sleeve down to cover her palm. She rubbed at something on the nearly pristine wall. The silver flaked off, revealing a patch of black underneath.
“Twenty,” she proclaimed, as if the faux surface explained it all.
“I don’t get it,” Vi said, voicing my thoughts exactly.
“Director Hightower was having the Blocks re-teched. They made it to the mid-twenties before Gunn and Jag escaped, and he pulled all his people into security.” She rubbed at the building again. “That black stuff is CoverAll. The Insiders marked all the Blocks concealing tunnels in increments of ten. It was my first mission.”
“It could still be Block Thirty, then,” Gunn argued.
“It could be, but it’s not,” Saffediene answered. She beamed at me, waiting for me to agree with her.
“How do you know?” I asked, hoping she was right. Then I wouldn’t have gotten us lost.
“Like I said, the re-teching didn’t get as high as Thirty. The buildings are black in the Upper Blocks, not silver. You’ll see when we come out at Twenty-Four.” She strode forward, her slight shoulders strong and sure, her blond braid bouncing along her back. “Can you disable this, Gunn? That silver stuff has recording capabilities.”
“Know-it-all,” Gunn muttered as he took up the rear position.
I didn’t care if Saffediene annoyed him. I just wanted to get out of range of the building’s recording capabilities. Our salvation came at the end of the alley, when Saffediene indicated the tunnel door.
Only darkness yawned behind it. I took a deep breath, hoping there’d be more oxygen inside this pit than in our Resistance hideout.
Hesitating, I reached for Vi’s hand and gripped it tightly in mine. Her returning squeeze led me to believe that she was just as unfond of dark, enclosed spaces as I was. Finally, common ground.
I breathed again, and then again, wishing for another way to reach Block Twenty-Four. If only we had a transporter ring or—
“Go!” Gunn hissed. “I think I see—” The rest of his words ground to a halt as a strobing light filled the alley, and the reflective surfaces of the newly teched buildings flashed with the word “FREEZE.”
I scrambled into the dark doorway as the alarm sounded. Vi, Saffediene, and Gunn squeezed in after me, and then we were all running blind.
Inside the dark, it’s harder to hide. No one can see me, which allows me to see myself clearly.
I see how I tricked Vi in the Goodgrounds. How I brainwashed her to carry that tracker. A ring. The symbol of love.
I do love her. I love her so much it hurts. In the dark, that lays exposed too.
I see how I left Jag. How I told him I had other things going on in my life so I couldn’t help his Resistance, when really I wanted to save my own skin. And get the girl.
I can’t lie in the dark. I quit the Resistance because I wanted Vi to myself. I knew that if I continued working for the Resistance, her father would get his hooks into her. I couldn’t risk her then.
I can’t now.
The darkness reveals it all.
The slow hammering of my heart. The quick gasps of my breath. The fear in my footsteps.
I can’t outrun myself in the dark. I’ve never been able to.
In the dark, I see how I helped Thane, even when I wasn’t 100 percent sure he was good. I’m still not sure if he’s on my side or with the Association. I hear my voice telling Vi dangerous lies. I see her glazed expression.
I see the adoration in her eyes, the adoration I don’t deserve.
That causes a crazy-lotta pain to gather in my limbs.
And then we reach the end of the tunnel, and I’m gasping, and Gunner’s talking, and Saffediene leads, and I take one look at Vi and see—
she knows.
She can see me. The real me. She knows what I’ve done for her, and she loves me for it. I want to hide from the emotion in her eyes. I’m afraid of its truth; I’m terrified that it still won’t be enough.
“Come on,” she says, gingerly lacing her fingers through mine. “Zenn, come on.”
I’d follow her to hell and back, and so I go.
Jag
7.
Leaving Vi with Zenn took every ounce of my self-control. Still, I’d charged him with her care, and even if he’d abandoned me once before, I knew he’d never do that to her. His sorry-I-can’t-help-you thing only seemed to apply to me.
And if the Enforcement Officers wanted me, the smartest thing to do was to separate myself from the others. That way no one would get hurt because of me.
I’d been separating myself for years.
Living in isolation had saved me countless times. Drawing on that independence forced me to learn how to survive.
Don’t think about how Irv went missing. Where could he be?
Don’t think about what the Greenies will do now that you won’t wear the implant. What would they try next?