Abducticon
Alma Alexander
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS AND AUTHOR NOTE
As with all books, there are people to thank for this one. As always, my husband and my partner in everything, Deck, who believed in this book from the moment I first strung together a semi — coherent sentence about a nebulous idea.
And then, when it became a reality, I have to call the production and publication team at Book View Café:
Beta reader: Jen Stevenson
Formatter: Leah Cutter
Cover Design: Alma Alexander, Lisa M. Morgan and Dave Smeds
A little further back than that… this was a book born in a period of pain, because a lot of it was written during the last few months of my father’s life. It was a sanctuary for me, this world, somewhere I could escape to and permit myself to remember that I could laugh — and because of that some of the laughter is deep.
But before that… my thanks to that world, and to all the people in it, my people, my tribe. The writers, The artists. The ones who can quote you dialogue from long — lost episodes of movies and TV shows which haven’t been on the air for DECADES. The ones who will read this book and catch all the pieces of homage, the context, the background — those who will, like the audience at an early screening of “Galaxy Quest” I once attended, laugh a split second BEFORE everyone else gets the joke.
If you know what FIAWOL means, if you’ve ever known it — if you go to cons with shining eyes and an excited spirit and you hate to leave them behind when you go because you are leaving all your friends — this book is for you, with love, because what it means is simply that you can take a con — a great one — one of the best cons you could possibly ever hope to have attended — and you can put it in your pocket and your ereader and your bookshelf and you never have to leave it behind again. It’s always here, for you.
Welcome to Abducticon.
Alma Alexander
FRIDAY
“Where are you? You should have been here an hour ago with that poster!”
“Sorry. The printer screwed it up again. The first proof I saw somehow managed to make ‘Brent Spiner’ look like ‘Bent Spinner’. They’re re — doing it. I should be on my way with the posters within twenty minutes. Sorry, Andie Mae.”
Al Coe, hunched over the counter at the print shop with his phone cradled between his ear and his shoulder, winced into the countertop even as the ‘sorry’ left his lips. That was typical, apologizing to Andie Mae Wilkinson for things that people had no actual control over but somehow ended up assuming responsibility for. Skewered by Andie Mae’s limpid blue eyes, combined with the buzzing chainsaw edge in her voice when she was riled, people would instinctively just shout ‘Guilty!’ and fold. He at least should have known better, should have become immune to the syndrome — having Andie Mae as an on — again — off — again girlfriend for almost four years now should have armored him against the weapons she wielded against lesser mortals. But it was Andie Mae, and she was a force of nature.
Her voice, emerging from his cellphone muffled and muted by flesh and fabric, did not even sound mollified at the apology.
“Next time I pick the printer. Why did you pick that incompetent idiot anyway? And did you tell them this was a rush job?”
“They actually pushed back another job to accommodate us,” Al said, trying to keep the peace, but then bit his lip as he realized that his statement wasn’t really an excuse in Andie Mae’s book. Of course they would have pushed back anything else to make room for her own rush job. That’s the way things worked in her world. “It’s getting done. Honest. I should be back really soon.”
“You’d better be. Our program booklets were printed a week ago and Xander finds out now that they give an entirely wrong time for the GoH interview. He’s been hand — correcting that all morning — in thousands of copies — ”
“Wait, how many registrations have you had…?”
“Well, hundreds, anyway, although it looks like we’re going to get anywhere between fifteen hundred and two thousand warm bodies in the end, if all the projections pan out. It’s only been Xander and two minions, three people, hard at it, and they’re still at it, anyway. And everyone else is buzzing around like bees out of a kicked — over beehive. And nobody can make coffee, apparently — that, or the hotel has some kind of brew that tastes like they used run — off water they collected after the gamers have had their end — of — con showers. You couldn’t pick up a package of decent coffee on your way back, could you? Just for us?”
Her voice had changed again, into her Southern Belle Wheedle, and Al never did have an adequate defense against that.
“Sure,” he said. “On my way. Almost done here.”
He looked up, and caught the eye of a young man who was operating the printer from which his posters would soon be issuing forth. The operator gave him a grin and a cheerful thumbs — up. The best Al could manage, putting down his phone, was a wan smile.
Good God. It was only Friday morning. The con hadn’t even officially started yet.
Andie Mae thumbed off her own phone with an exasperated sigh. She’d been on some ConCom or another, as a minion or a lieutenant, since she was a teen — but this was her first time in the Chair and she desperately wanted everything to go without a hitch. But there had been nothing but hitches all the way down the line.
It was Friday morning, the fifty — ninth second of the eleventh hour. The registration desk in the hotel foyer was seeing its first flurries of walk — in registrations of the day, not quite the full frenzy yet, but it was starting to build, which meant that the convention had actually, at least semi — officially, begun — and yet there were a thousand and one tasks that still required her attention, and all of them were things without which the con could not possibly run without a hiccup. Not for the first time she wondered uncharitably if her predecessor, Sam Dutton, the entrenched Chair of this con for the last damn near three decades, had vindictively left some kind of evil spell on things after they had voted him out of the office at last during that ConCom meeting straight after the previous year’s convention.
Sam was here, now — somewhere in the hotel.
Andie Mae hadn’t seen him, precisely, but she felt his presence in the corridors, enough to raise goose — pimples on her skin when she bustled down the hallways or waited impatiently for tardy elevators. He was here, and he was watching, and he would gloat magnificently if he perceived any sign of weakness or failure. She could not fail, not in Sam’s presence, not in his sight. This con had to be something they would still be talking about when she was an old lady and hailed in hotel corridors of the future as the patron saint of amazing. She wished, not for the first time, that she could have banned Sam from coming at all this year — less pressure — but he was free to register for the con as a guest, now that he was no longer a ConCom member, and there was nothing she could do about that.
She scowled, and wandered over to the nerve center of the operation, the Con Ops office. In the first room of the suite, as she entered, busy volunteers were stuffing envelopes with program booklets, name badges, party invitations, and other assorted ephemera. Some of them looked up as she came in, and managed smiles or waves before returning to their task. Andie Mae passed through and into the back room, outfitted with the latest in technology, including feed from several webcams strategically placed around the hotel. Some of the designated panel rooms were still being cleared out in preparation for their role in the proceedings, and the cameras showed nothing more than the empty shell of the room with perhaps a uniformed hotel flunky carrying in loads of folding chairs for the audiences to come. Of the couple of hundred people who had already registered, on Thursday night early — reg and on Friday morning, a hardcore few had already found the paneled — off ballroom designated as the games room, and one or three games were already in progress there under the camera’s watchful eye. Another camera showed the computer game room, with its eerily glowing banks of monitors, at least three of which were occupied by players whose eyes glittered with an air of something that could almost be menace in the dimly — lit room, intent on the games on their screen.