“With a lady, you don't insist on anything, not in my house, Giles, and if I'm uncomfortable with the idea, why then-”
“What's a little moment's awkwardness and discomfort if it serves a larger purpose and-”
“I–I-I would like you to leave now, Giles.”
He didn't move. “Leave?”
“Now. Now, Giles. I want you to leave, yes… please.”
Still he did not budge.
A slow quaking fear slithered along her spine like a warning, an instinctual bell tolling inside her frame. “Out! Out this minute, Giles. I want you out!” She went to the table and lifted the charcoal drawings and said, “Our arrangement is over! You can have these back!”
She held out the drawings, and he reluctantly took them. His eyes downcast, he looked like a petulant boy.
But instead of leaving, he laid aside three of the sketches and held one out to her. “You must keep this one, Louisa.”
She had instinctively clutched on to the broom to use as a weapon, should she need it.
“Take the sketch and don't be foolish. I'm leaving, Louisa, and I'm so sorry. The last thing I wanted was that you should feel a moment's distress around me, really,” Giles assured her. Indicating the broom, he added, “You can put that down. It's totally unnecessary, Louisa. We don't need shit like this between us. We're still friends, right?”
She eased her grip on the broom but stood her ground. She stared at the single drawing, her favorite of the four, extended to her.
“Of course, you're right.”
“I mean, who couldn't use another friend. No such thing as too many friends, right?”
She nodded, saying nothing, as if embarrassed, and she further loosed her grip on the broom. The moment she took hold of the charcoal drawing of herself surrounded by birds, Giles grabbed for the broom, frightening her. With the sketch clutched against the handle, she brought the broom up and knocked the glass from his hand. It rained across the floor in miniature thunder. The broken pieces winked up at the odd pair-recluse and would-be killer.
“Please, Louisa, you're beautiful… a beautiful person resides deep within you. In your soul, and I want to get at it. That's all, that's all.”
She softened in both body language and tone. “That's all?”
“Yes, that's all I want is to sketch you. After that, I want to do you in oils, that is to paint you. You see, I sketch first, paint last.”
She hesitated. She tightened her grip on the sketch in her hands.
Giles quietly said, “All I really want for Christmas is your spine, Louisa. You can keep the rest.”
“What?” she said, confused. “What did you say?”
But even as she asked this, he pulled a small, hefty hammer from the loose overalls he wore, and the ugly tool came crashing down, bloodying her scalp. She stumbled to the floor and crawled into the living room, dazed, disorientated, still clutching the sketch, wondering where she was and what had happened to her. Even dazed, she felt him standing over her. Something instinctive told her to face him, but she could not stand. Doing the next best thing, she turned onto her back to face up. “Come close, closer…” she croaked out a whisper.
He leaned in over her. “You have some final words?” he asked.
She whispered so low that he could not hear. When he came within reach, she tore at his face with her nails, shouting, “Bastard!”
Her fighting back had surprised Giles; he wondered why she wanted to live. To hang pictures of birds on her walls? To feed her cat? To clean her sink of dishes? Some other mundane chore in her dull existence?
She'd passed out, and needing to get at her entire backside, he ripped her clothes from her. The entry through the back must be completely unfettered. He next located the sketches and began to stuff them into the bag. But he was stopped when he saw the blood stained sketch she clung to. He decided to place the last three he'd done on the walls as she had planned. He hunted down her tape-and-scissors drawer and got it done.
Backing up, studying and admiring his hung Collection of Birds in the Park, he imagined what she had had in mind. With the right frames and in this context, it might have been lovely. Too bad he could not take credit, a bow for the work. It was good.
He next returned to his tools and pulled out his scalpel and rib cutter.
The actual killing had taken less than a minute; the working up to it all these months, was a different story altogether.
Still, getting in and out of Louisa's apartment had taken far too much time. Giles now felt an urgency to vacate without being seen. He lifted the hand she had scratched his face with; she had left him with a scar from chin to Adam's apple. Using the rib cutter, he snapped off each fingertip at the joint, dropping each into the trash bag alongside the broken glass and his partial sandwich. One of the round-nailed fin-gertips missed the bag, seemingly leaping to freedom, rolling away toward the sofa chair, when in the same instant Archer the cat darted and snatched it up and was gone again.
“Damn you, cat!” he bellowed. He coaxed but failed to lure the cat from its hiding place; kneeling low, looking up under the sofa chair, he learned the damn thing had simply vanished, along with Louisa's fingertip. “Fucking cat!”
Giving up on the cat, Giles turned back to Louisa's body and stopped momentarily to stare at how beautiful the geometry of her form lay there, splayed open, limbs forming a kind of human swastika, each aligned in a spontaneous akimbo, but what struck him most remained that damnable charcoal drawing clutched in her dying hand. The sight caused him to give up cutting off any more fingertips. He reasoned it out: She had to've torn at him with her only free hand, and since he resided somewhere under the police radar here in Millbrook, Minnesota, he had acted accordingly to remain that way, removing any possible DNA he may've left in the apartment or on the body-all save the DNA the cat would hopefully consume.
“Isn't likely they'll cut open a cat for evidence they don't know is there,” he muttered to the empty room and corpse.
For some minutes, he stood clear of the blood while regarding her in death, moving round the body with care in his bare feet, considering every angle. He made mental notes for later. He'd want to depict her exactly as she lay here, only in the abstract-caught like a butterfly on a pin within the context of his art.
No, he needn't bother with her right hand. She'd only scratched him with her left, and only the once before falling back.
“Got to get out of here,” he told Archer from whom he caught snatches of contented birdlike murmurs coming from the gut and throat, somewhere below the sofa, happy with his prize. Out Louisa's window, he saw a man walking a poodle past a service truck of some sort. He ruminated how people foolishly attributed warm, cozy feelings to their animals so as to feel better about themselves, as if they had some kind of reciprocal even symbiotic relationship with their pets, as if the pet cared. And people did this so routinely and without the slightest sense or dared thought. The same people who made light of a man like John Edwards, the TV psychic, attributed an entire array of emotions and feelings of love that their cat or dog provided them, when in fact the animal liked your smell, and why'd it like your odor? Because when your smell was nearby, they knew they'd be fed. And this Childe woman with her birds and this crazy belief system she had built up around them, as if they spent time thinking about her, placing her in their little animal dreams and thoughts, as if they gave a shit about her when all they really cared about came out of a bag of feed in her hand. The woman had come to think of herself as a kind of Uncle Remus-like in a Disney film-birds flitting about her cheek, stealing kisses, or a St. Francis of Assisi in a skirt, animals whispering in her ear the secrets of the universe and peace on fucking Earth. And all that crap about the complexity of the bird's brain written by that so-called naturalist who bought his degree was exactly that- crap. “Birds're as smart as my left nipple,” Giles allowed. “Bird Man of Alcatraz only proved one thing-birds contract as many diseases as we do, but it took the brain of a man to combat those diseases.”