But then Tommy started banging on the door behind us, and Alex moved his hand (alas, alas!), and Maggie said I had to go in, and I looked at Alex and he looked at me, and I said, “I like it when you wear that blue shirt” (he was wearing his blue T-shirt), and he smiled.
Ohhhhh. Is this disgusting or what? What’s the matter with me? Do you think he was going to kiss me? I wish there was a manual for this sort of thing, something that would tell you about holding hands and kissing. When should this happen? How many days should you hold hands before you kiss? Sometimes I just can’t wait for that kiss, but sometimes I think, Ugh! Please don’t! I wish I’d make up my mind. I wonder if Alex thinks the same things. Do boys actually think about this mushy stuff? Or do they just automatically know what to do?
We’re going to the movies again tomorrow. Only this time we will INSIST on walking and NOT TELL Carl Ray where we are going!
Beth Ann has finally decided to take some action in her battle against Derek (who is now referred to as “that jerk”). She has read to me three drafts of the letter she is sending tomorrow. It’s all about how she loved him and trusted him and how he betrayed her and he could at least have the common decency to give her an explanation. She asked me if I thought she should send it and I said that I thought she should just forget him and NOT send it, but she decided to send it anyway. So much for my good advice.
The other thing she is thinking of doing is REVOLTING and shows you just how much this whole thing with Derek has affected her brain. She wanted to know, get this, if I thought CARL RAY liked her and if he maybe would ask her out if I suggested it!!!!!! I thought she was kidding, but she sure wasn’t. I said, “What for???” He’s four years older than Beth Ann, though I guess he doesn’t act it.
And she said, “Well, he’s kind of cute.”
And I said, “Carl Ray?” I really could not believe it. Carl Ray, cute? The same Carl Ray who sneaks around here and never makes up his stupid bed? That Carl Ray???
I told her I didn’t want any part of it, but she said that she only wanted to make Derek jealous, and if Carl Ray would ask her out, she would get him to take her to all the places she and Derek used to go so that maybe she would run into him and his new girlfriend, and that maybe if Derek saw her with someone else he would realize how much he missed her, and on and on.
Now, that’s a desperate mind at work, if you ask me.
I didn’t agree to anything yet. I said I had to think about it.
Honestly.
I have about a million things to say, but my brain is too mushy from being with Alex, so they will all have to wait for tomorrow. I do love Alex Cheevey!!!!
Saw Alex again, so cannot think.
A lot is happening, though, so I promise to catch up tomorrow.
There are wicked thunderstorms outside right now. The wind is bashing the trees around and the trash cans are rolling down the driveway.
Mrs. Zollar said that Shakespeare and his buddies thought that if there was a storm, it was because the universe was out of whack somewhere. And the Greeks believed storms were caused by gods who were mad at someone. Actually, I think it’s just a storm.
Didn’t see Alex today (he had to go to his grandmother’s again), so I can at least think tonight. I’ll wait and tell about Alex at the end so I don’t start getting all mushy before I remember everything else.
The most disgusting news is that Beth Ann went out with Carl Ray.
She called me on Friday morning to say that she had finally mailed a letter to “the jerk” (alias Derek-the-Divine). Beth Ann wrote this very gushy letter (she read a copy of it to me—she kept a copy!) to Derek all about how much she loved him and how maybe they should both see other people, because that way they would be able to know for sure if their hearts were telling the truth (how can hearts tell the truth?).
Then she asked me if I had hinted to Carl Ray about taking her out and I said no, I hadn’t, so she made me go with her to the hardware store to see him. It went something like this:
(Scene: Two girls, Mary Lou and Beth Ann, enter hardware store. A seventeen-year-old gangly, pale, freckled boy with a tiny bird head and enormous hands and feet [Carl Ray] is straightening the display of insect repellents. He looks up, turns brilliant red, and then continues to straighten display.)
BETH ANN: (whispering to Mary Lou) Come on then. Say something to him.
MARY LOU: (also whispering) This is ridiculous.
(They walk up to Carl Ray. He’s still straightening cans.)
MARY LOU: So hi there, Carl Ray.
CARL RAY: Hi.
MARY LOU: So. You know Beth Ann here, don’t you?
CARL RAY: (still straightening cans) Unnh.
BETH ANN: (in her Marilyn Monroe voice) Hellooooo, Carl Ray. I haven’t seen you in ages.
(Carl Ray looks up. He’s not completely stupid.)
CARL RAY: Enh.
MARY LOU: So whatcha doin’, Carl Ray?
CARL RAY: Workin’.
MARY LOU: Ah.
BETH ANN: I bet you have a lot of responsibility here.
CARL RAY: What’s your name again?
BETH ANN: Beth Ann. Beth Ann Bartels. B-A-R-T-E-L-S. I live over at six-two-two Holmden Road. Right around the corner from Mary Lou.
MARY LOU: (aside to Beth Ann) Why don’t you give him your phone number or something?
BETH ANN: (aside to Mary Lou) Oh, shut up.
CARL RAY: (to Mary Lou) You want something?
MARY LOU: Huh?
CARL RAY: From the store?
MARY LOU: Oh. Uh—
BETH ANN: No, we don’t want anything. We just came in to see you.
CARL RAY: Huh?
BETH ANN: Oh, we were just in the neighborhood, and I said to Mary Lou, why don’t we go in and see your cousin, since we’re right here, because, I said, I haven’t seen your cousin in ages and I wonder how he’s doing. So Mary Lou said okay, although she can’t stay long because she has to go home to get ready for her date with Alex. They’re going to the movies. They’re going to see that real good movie about the guy who inherits his father’s ranch and there’s this girl—well, actually, I don’t know too much about it because I haven’t seen it yet, but I hear it’s a romance, sort of, but it has adventure too. And it’s a little sad but also funny too. That’s what I hear. Maybe Mary Lou will tell me all about it after she and Alex see it tonight. I guess I’ll just stay home and read or something boring like that. Don’t you hate these beautiful summer nights when all there is to do is sit home and read?
CARL RAY: What’d you say your name was again?