“I applaud your initiative,” Edward said.
“It made me think a lot about how we’ve been relating to one another,” Kim said. She looked down at her hands. “It made me wonder if perhaps living together right at the moment is not the best thing for either of us.”
Edward put down his beer and took her hands. “I understand how you must feel,” he said. “And your feelings are appropriate in light of my most recent behavior. But I can see my mistakes, and I think I can make it up to you.”
Kim started to say something, but Edward interrupted her.
“All I ask is to allow the status quo to remain for a few weeks with me staying here in my room and you in yours,” he said. “If you feel we shouldn’t be staying together at the end of this trial period, I’ll move up to the castle with the others.”
Kim contemplated what Edward had said. He had impressed her with his remorse and his insight. His offer seemed reasonable.
“All right,” she said finally.
“Wonderful!” Edward said. He reached out and gave her a long hug.
Kim held herself back a little. It was hard for her to change emotional directions so quickly.
“Let’s celebrate,” Edward said. “Let’s go out to dinner-just you and me.”
“I know you can’t take the time,” Kim said. “But I appreciate the offer.”
“Nonsense!” Edward said. “I’m taking the time! Let’s go back to that dive we went to on one of our first trips up here. Remember the scrod?”
Kim nodded. Edward drained his beer.
As they drove from the compound and Kim glanced at the castle, she thought about the researchers and commented about how exuberant they had seemed.
“They couldn’t be any happier,” Edward said. “Things are going well at the lab, and now they won’t have to commute.”
“Did you start taking Ultra?” Kim asked.
“We sure did,” Edward said. “We all started Tuesday.”
Kim contemplated telling Edward about Kinnard’s thoughts on the subject but hesitated because she knew that Edward would be upset that she’d spoken to anybody about their project.
“We’ve already learned something interesting,” Edward said. “The tissue level of Ultra can’t be critical because all of us are experiencing equally positive results even though we’re on widely different dosages.”
“Could the euphoria you and the others are enjoying have anything to do with the drug?” Kim asked.
“I’m sure it does,” Edward said. “Indirectly if not directly. Within twenty-four hours of our first dose all of us felt relaxed, focused, confident, and even-”
Edward struggled for a word. Finally he said: “Content. All of which is a far cry from the anxiety, fatigue, and contentiousness we’d been experiencing before Ultra.”“What about side effects?”
“The only side effect that we’ve all had was some initial dryness of the mouth,” Edward said. “Two of the others reported some mild constipation. I was the only one who had some difficulty with near vision, but it only lasted for twenty-four hours and I’d been experiencing the problem prior to taking Ultra, particularly when I got tired.”
“Maybe you should stop taking the drug now that you’ve learned as much as you have,” Kim suggested.
“I don’t think so,” Edward said. “Not when we are getting such positive results. In fact, I brought some for you in case you want to try it.”
Edward reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a vial of capsules. He extended it toward Kim. She shrank back.
“No, thank you,” she said.
“For God’s sake, at least take the container.”
Reluctantly Kim allowed Edward to drop the vial into her hands.
“Just think about it,” Edward said. “Remember that discussion we had a long time ago about not feeling socially connected? Well, you won’t feel that way with Ultra. I’ve been on it less than a week, and it’s allowed the real me to emerge; the person that I’ve wanted to be. I think you should try it. What do you have to lose?”
“The idea of taking a drug for a personality trait bothers me,” Kim said. “Personality is supposed to come from experience not chemistry.”
“This is sounding like a conversation we’ve already had,” Edward said with a laugh. “I guess as a chemist I’m bound to feel differently. Suit yourself, but I guarantee you’d feel more assertive if you try it. And that’s not all. We also think it enhances long-term memory and alleviates fatigue and anxiety. I had a good demonstration of this latter effect just this morning. I got a call from Harvard announcing they’ve instituted suit against me. It infuriated me, but the outrage only lasted a few minutes. Ultra smoothed my anger out, so instead of pounding the walls I was able to think about the situation rationally and make appropriate decisions.”
“I’m glad you are finding it so helpful,” Kim said. “But I still don’t want to take it.” She tried to give the container back to Edward. He pushed her hand away.
“Keep it,” he said. “All I ask is that you give it some serious thought. Just take one capsule a day and you’ll be amazed at who you are.”
Understanding that Edward was adamant, Kim dropped the vial into her bag.
Later at the restaurant, while Kim was in the ladies’ room standing in front of the mirror, she caught sight of the vial in her bag. Removing it, she undid the cap. With her thumb and index finger she lifted out one of the blue capsules and examined it. It seemed incredible it could do all the things Edward claimed.
Glancing in the mirror, she admitted to herself how much she’d like to be more assertive and less fearful. She also admitted how tempting it would be to deal so easily with her low-level but nagging anxiety. She looked back down at the capsule. Then she shook her head. For a moment she’d wavered, but as she put the capsule back into the container, she reaffirmed that drugs were not her answer.
As Kim returned to the restaurant proper she reminded herself that she’d always been suspicious of quick and easy solutions. Over the years she’d developed the opinion that the best way to deal with her problems was the old-fashioned way with introspection, a little pain, and effort.
Later that night, while Kim was comfortably reading in bed, she heard the front door slam shut. It made her jump. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was before eleven.
“Edward?” she called out nervously.
“It’s just me,” Edward called back as he came up the stairs two at a time. He poked his head into Kim’s bedroom. “I hope I didn’t scare you,” he said.
“It’s so early,” Kim said. “Are you okay?”
“Couldn’t be better,” Edward said. “I even feel energetic, which is amazing since I’ve been up since five this morning.”
He went into the half-bath and began brushing his teeth. While he did so he managed to maintain a lively chatter about humorous incidents that occurred in the lab that evening. It seemed that the researchers were playing harmless practical jokes on each other. ‘
As Edward spoke, Kim reflected on how different her own mood was from everyone else’s at the compound. Despite Edward’s apparent turnaround, she still was uptight, vaguely anxious, and even still a bit depressed.
After Edward was finished in the bathroom he returned to Kim’s room and sat on the edge of her bed. Buffer followed him in and, to Sheba’s chagrin, tried to jump up as well.
“No, you don’t, you rascal,” Edward said as he scooped the dog up and held him in his lap.
“Are you going to bed already?” Kim asked.
“I am indeed,” Edward said. “I’ve got to be up at three-thirty instead of the usual five to deal with an experiment I’m running. Out here in Salem I don’t have any postdocs to do my dirty work.”
“That’s not much sleep,” Kim said.
“It’s been adequate,” Edward said. Then he changed the subject abruptly. “How much money did you inherit along with the compound?”