Kirkwood and Allingham rose to their feet.
‘Goodnight, Lady Hathaway. Miss Hathaway, Miss Millie,’ Allingham said gravely. ‘Thank you for a very pleasant evening. I know these are not the best of circumstances, but it would have been a very dull night without you.’
‘And you, Sir,’ Lady Hathaway smiled. ‘You have been excellent company.’
‘I am sorry I fleeced you so badly,’ Millie said, sounding anything but.
‘I shall survive,’ his lordship said ruefully. ‘And you have taught me a valuable lesson in humility, Miss Millie. I shall never underestimate a young lady in such a way again.’
‘We have all made that mistake. Millie is very adept at teaching one humility,’ Harry observed, giving his youthful sister-in-law a raised eyebrow.
Kirkwood stood between Audrey and the door. He gave her a bow as she made to pass him. ‘I trust you will sleep well, Miss Hathaway.’
Now what did he mean by that? Audrey inclined her head warily. ‘And you, Sir.’
‘Oh, I always sleep well,’ he assured her softly and she hastily followed her mother out of the room. It was not what he said, she decided as she began to climb the stairs. It was the way he said it, as if he meant something else entirely.
Something wicked.
‘Are you sure you are quite well, my dear?’ her mother inquired, when they reached the landing. ‘You color is quite high, again. Perhaps you should have come upstairs earlier. You did faint, after all.’
‘Perhaps I should have,’ Audrey agreed. ‘I expect I am just tired, Mama. There is no need to be concerned.’
Unsurprisingly, it had taken a long time to fall asleep that night for she had not been in the least bit tired. On the contrary, she had been unusually alert, aware of every creaking floorboard and shifting beam in the old inn. Millie, with whom she was sharing a room, was long asleep by the time she had finally dozed off. When Audrey awoke the next morning she lay quite still, considering the previous evening, pondering the unlikelihood of both the Allinghams and Kirkwood appearing at The Drunken Maiden when her own family was in residence. It felt almost… predestined in a way, as if fate had decided to take a hand in her affairs. There could be no other satisfactory explanation for Kirkwood reappearing in her life so unexpectedly, surely.
She pondered the uncomfortable relationship she had been allowed to observe between Kirkwood and his family. He was obviously unpopular. Clearly, Judith Allingham bore no love for her husband’s first born and, while Allingham himself wasn’t nearly as hostile, he seemed very awkward in Kirkwood’s presence. His attitude had certainly relaxed a little after his mother had retired but there certainly hadn’t been any of the familiar ease one might expect between brothers. How very odd that must be. Her own relationship with Marcus was something she treasured and she knew she would hate for any shadow to come between them. A wash of sympathy for Mr. Kirkwood ran through her. It must be dreadful to have a family that did not want to lay claim to you. More than that, it must be very lonely…
There is clearly a story there and probably not a pleasant one but it is none of my business. There is no point in wondering what it is. I am sure that Kirkwood has suffered, but what of it? He is abrasive and sharp and difficult. An impossible man in every way…
Audrey gave a soft sigh and stared at the low ceiling, feeling the heavy weight of oppression settle on her. She could not deny the way her heart sung at the sight of Kirkwood, as impossible as the whole thing was. She had believed she was beginning to recover from that last encounter in the park – although that recovery was constantly hindered by her inability to put either episode out of her head for more than a few hours at a time – but now she had an uneasy sense that a complete recovery was not in her future. One recovered from a cold or a bout of tiredness but matters of the heart were entirely different. She had, for whatever extraordinary reason, developed a passion for the man and there was no point in pretending any longer that her feelings for Mr. Kirkwood were more than a passing fancy.
Can one fall in love accidentally? And is it really love that I feel? I never thought that I could care for such a man but now, having met him, having spent only a small amount of time in his company, I cannot imagine wanting anyone else…
It was a frightening thought.
Kirkwood was not the kind of man who settled into marriage. Curiously, it was this, rather than the knowledge that he was a bastard and would have been considered by Polite Society to be unsuitable husband material for any respectable girl that troubled her the most. Marrying such a man might generate the censure of a horrified ton, but when one had that special someone beside you, you could face anything. Her siblings had taught her that.
She knew she was being a fool, however. Kirkwood wanted her, it was true but he was stirred by lust, not love. And she could not give in to anything so temporary.
Could she? Audrey shivered.
She thought back to the night before, wondering if her behavior had given anything of her feelings away. What if her family guessed that she had formed a partiality to the man? Perhaps her family would have put any oddness on her part down to her fainting? One did not faint every day, after all and Mama would probably think she had exerted herself too much. It was easy enough to pass off her uncharacteristic behavior to an excess of tiredness. Exhaustion was a marvelous fallback for most females, she reflected wryly. That and headaches really were a female’s best friend, designed to get one out of all manner of difficult situations. Her unexpected faint at the sight of Kirkwood had been more fortuitous than she had initially thought, perhaps.
Beside her in the double bed, Millie stirred and sighed. Harry and Isabella naturally had their own bedchamber and Mama had taken a slightly smaller room next door. It occurred to her that Mr. Kirkwood would also be occupying a bedchamber on this floor. The idea that the man who had the power to utterly entangle her emotions might be laying in a bed close by made her shift uncomfortably, sending a wave of, by now, familiar heat flooding through her. Kirkwood, sleeping peacefully. It was hard to imagine the man in repose. What would he look like at rest, without any of that restless energy pulsing through him? And what would he behave like, when he was awake…?
She groaned inwardly at the thought.
He will no doubt be leaving this morning anyway, she thought sadly. Harry said that travelling would be possible for a solitary rider. No doubt he will continue on with his journey after breakfast and we will be rid of him.
But she did not want to be rid of him. As uncomfortable, as vulnerable as his presence made her feel, it also made her feel alive in a way she had never felt before. But common sense dictated that his departure was the safest course of action all round. Best to remove temptation. She would no doubt settle down properly when she had heard that he had left the area again. She would no doubt grieve at his departure too. And in the meantime, there was a very real possibility that she would see him in the company of the Devonports over the next few weeks. How could she not, for Isabella was forever inviting Meg Devonport to Little Paddocks and they would be sure to invite Kirkwood, as he was their guest? Audrey would have a few more chances to be with him, to revel in the man’s company and experience the singular thrill of meeting those dark eyes and watching them darken with the same forbidden desire that held her in its grip…
‘Audrey? What is it?’
Her sister’s voice made her start with surprise. Turning her head on the pillow, she found that Millie was watching her. Audrey gave a smile.