‘Kirkwood!’
His brother’s voice again. Darius came back to himself with a jolt and looked at Roddy. ‘Yes?’
‘Are you quite all right?’ Beth inquired, an expression of concern on her face.
‘Indeed.’ He forced a smile. This was ridiculous! If he did not manage to take himself in hand they would all think him entirely mad.
‘You haven’t been listening to us,’ Millie explained, eying him curiously. ‘Lord Allingham has been talking to you for ages.’
‘Has he? Perhaps he should have shouted.’ Darius made a sudden decision. There was no point in putting things off. Soon, both Judith and Lady Hathaway would come downstairs and discussions about their plans to escape The Drunken Maiden would commence. If he was going to make a damned fool of himself, it would be better to get on with it. He rose to his feet and looked at Miss Hathaway who was, like everybody else at the table, watching him with some bewilderment. ‘Miss Hathaway, may I speak to you in private for a few moments?’
There was a rather stunned silence. Gentlemen did not speak to young, unmarried ladies in private. It simply wasn’t the done thing at all.
‘In private?’ she repeated, as if she had not heard correctly.
‘Yes, Miss Hathaway. By that, I mean without anybody present.’ He inclined his head towards Millie. ‘Although you are more than welcome to wait outside the door if it would help with the proprieties of the situation.’
‘It wouldn’t,’ Beth said with some certainty. ‘Mr. Kirkwood, whatever are you about?’
‘Call me Darius, please. And I am about to make an ass of myself, something that I would prefer to do with an audience of one.’ He met Audrey’s eyes. ‘Miss Hathaway?’
Slowly, Audrey dropped her napkin on the table and stood up. Beth Fielding looked at her with troubled blue eyes. ‘Miss Hathaway!’
‘We shall not be long,’ Audrey said, sounding more or less composed. There was a tremor in her voice but there was also an air of resolution about her and his heart soared in response. ‘Millie, you will stay in the hallway and… and knock if Mama or Isabella come downstairs.’
Millie rose with alacrity. ‘Very well.’
‘Really,’ Roddy was looking from one face to the other, completely bewildered by this sudden turn of events. ‘I don’t understand. Darius, why do you want to be private with Miss Hathaway? It is most inadvisable.’
‘It is,’ Darius agreed, holding out his arm as Audrey came around the table. Without a word, she laid a hand on his coat sleeve. ‘It is madness and I should certainly be horsewhipped and I promise to give you the opportunity later but for now, I need to see Miss Hathaway alone.’
He left the pair still quibbling behind him, guiding Audrey to the parlor they had spent the previous evening in, Millie following along behind like a small, inquisitive satellite. They paused in the door and Audrey turned to her sister.
‘Remember, join us if -’
‘I know, if Mama or Isabella come along. Don’t worry,’ Millie assured her, ‘I promise I shall do so. Scream if you need me,’ she added, giving Darius a look that suggested it would be very unwise if he made her sister scream. He inclined his head in acknowledgement.
Then, closing the door quietly, he turned and looked at Audrey.
Chapter Seven
Audrey could only wonder at her own behavior. That she could disregard the proprieties enough to agree to see a man alone…
Millie is just outside the door, she reminded herself.
As if that counted for anything.
She was unchaperoned and in the presence of a very dangerous man.
A shiver of delight rippled through her.
‘Sir,’ she said, sounding breathless. ‘This is hardly a sensible thing to do.’
He was silent for a long moment, then she heard him sigh. ‘I stopped being sensible the night I met you,’ he said quietly, moving forward a few steps. Disappointingly, he left some space between them. It was probably just as well. ‘Miss Hathaway, I am in a quandary.’
Audrey looked up at him, his face so familiar to her despite the fact that they were as good as strangers. It did not feel as if they were strangers. For all that she had struggled with her feelings for him, for her desire for him, she had suddenly discovered in the breakfast room that she did not want to struggle any more. Darius Kirkwood was certainly not the man she had envisioned would sweep her off her feet but if she had learned anything in the past four months, it was that expectations could change in the space of an hour.
‘In what way are you in a quandary, Sir?’
‘I met a girl some months ago who has caused me considerable perturbation of the spirits.’
‘Indeed? That is most unfortunate. And yet you did not seek this girl out?’
‘I did not immediately see that there was any need to. I thought that the feelings she had stirred in me would pass, given time.’
Could he hear the beating of her heart? She could, for it reverberated through her body with resounding force. ‘I see. But it did not pass?’
‘No, Miss Hathaway. It did not pass.’
‘Perhaps,’ she observed, ‘you should have sought this girl out when you found that you continued to think of her? To clarify your feelings.’
‘I did go looking for her,’ he admitted. ‘And several times I found her but she was sensible enough not to get caught out again by importunate gentlemen who might imperil her reputation.’
‘You could have come to say hello,’ she suggested softly. ‘It would have thrown her into some confusion but I do believe it would not have been unwelcome.’
He took a half step closer, just a half step but it closed the distance between them a little bit more. ‘You don’t understand. I didn’t understand, until this morning. I thought that I just wanted another kiss, the last one,’ he added, voice thickening a little, ‘having been so very remarkable.’
The idea that he wanted to kiss her again was hardly surprising but the knowledge still sent a thrill of triumph through her. ‘But that is not the case?’
‘No. One kiss would be delightful but I am afraid it would not be nearly enough to satisfy.’
He wants to seduce me. And I want him to seduce me… I cannot recall wanting anything so much in my entire life. But surely not here and not now! ‘What are you suggesting, Sir?’ she inquired, searching his face.
A curious stillness seemed to come over him. ‘In a perfect world, I would be able to ask for your hand in marriage, Miss Hathaway. I have money enough to keep us, property enough to provide for a family and sense enough to learn how to be a decent husband. But I am unable to give you what you deserve the most, which is the approbation of Society. For no matter how much I might want to offer you my name, I am and can only ever be, a bastard.’
Audrey stared at him, transfixed. ‘You wish to marry me?’ she breathed.
‘Believe me,’ he muttered, lips twisting, ‘I am as shocked by the fact as you are. I have never contemplated the act until now but I find I cannot offer anything less. I only hope that you can countenance such an impudent suggestion. I know that you deserve somebody like my brother but I’m damned if I am not going to fight for a chance to have you for myself, no matter how undeserving I may be.’
She continued to stare at him, chaotic thoughts tumbling through her head. A single one coalesced. ‘You wish to marry me?’
He winced. ‘Dear God, you really don’t think very much of me if you believed I brought you in here to ravish you. I suppose I have given you good reason, however. I admit in the past I have been more intent on seducing than settling down.’