“Because I figured if I called to them then, he might never have to call to them himself. And I wanted to welcome our baby into the world with the strength of those who gave me hope—kept me alive—on his side.”
His words, the raw grit in his tone, tell me he still has so many fears I don’t know about yet. When I open my eyes to meet his, I hate the lingering shadow of a past I thought we had put behind us. It hasn’t been there in so very long.
“Colton . . .” His name is a plea, an apology, an endearment simultaneously, and before I can say another thing, there is a knock at the maternity suite’s door and the moment is gone.
“Come in,” I say.
Within seconds the room is a whirlwind of sound, people, balloons, and oohs and aahs as our family and friends descend upon us.
“Let me see my grandbaby,” Colton’s mom, Dorothea, says as she leads the charge into the room, her hands outstretched and smile wide as she reaches out to take Ace from her son.
“You’d think you were royalty or something with all the press outside,” Haddie says above the fray, and even though I can’t see her yet, I can hear her.
I look over and meet Colton’s glance, and give him a nod in acknowledgement. He was right in making the call to keep the boys away from here and out of paparazzi’s lenses’ crosshairs. And God yes, I want to see them all. Look Zander in the eye to really make sure he’s okay like he told me he was on the phone, and thank Shane for staying with him last night. Have them come here to the hospital—a place most of them still associate with where they had to lie to doctors about why they were hurt—and see it’s not always a bad place. So they could meet the newest brother in their family, and see for themselves that I’m perfectly fine.
The last thing I want to happen though is to deliberately put them in the public eye. That should be avoided for Zander at all costs. Besides, Teddy might have turned a blind eye to my visit to The House and interference in Zander’s visitation there yesterday so the board doesn’t know, but I don’t think he’d be able to do the same if pictures of the boys at the hospital were plastered on the Internet.
“Oh my God, he’s adorable,” Dorothea says, pulling me from my thoughts. I glance to Colton and back to where Andy, my mom, and dad gather around her as she holds the newest member of the family. I watch them all for a second, enamored by how my always-regal mother-in-law has been reduced to a bunch of expressions and sounds as she revels in her first moments as a grandmother.
“We figured we’d all bombard you at once so you could get this all over with in one shot,” Quinlan says as she leans forward and gives me a tight hug. And for some reason—probably the hormones running in overdrive right now—I hold on a little longer than necessary and just breathe her in.
“Thanks,” I say as she pulls back and looks at me closely.
“You doing okay?” she asks, prompting a nod from me as emotion forms into a lump in my throat and lodges the words there.
“Yeah,” I say with a soft smile. “I’m just tired.” She reaches out and squeezes my hands, my thumb running over the tiny pink heart tattooed on the inside of her wrist.
“Congrats!” Her rockstar boyfriend Hawke says from behind her before he steps forward and presses a kiss to the top of my head. “We can’t wait to spoil him rotten.”
“Don’t get him started,” Quin says with a roll of her eyes. “He already has a mini guitar for him. And microphone. And—” Hawke’s hand covers her mouth in a mock attempt to shut her up and save him the embarrassment, but I think it’s a little too late.
“Outta the way.” I know there’s no ignoring that voice nor do I want to. “I need to see my girl.”
Hawke and Quin step back so Haddie can barrel through and launch herself at me. Within seconds I find myself squeezed so tight I can barely breathe.
“You’re a mom,” she says into my ear with such love and affection that tears sting the backs of my eyes. I don’t care either because we’ve been through a lifetime of ups and downs together so I love being able to experience this up with her. “Do you know how hard it is for me not to push the grandparents away so I can hog him all to myself?”
“I think you’ll lose that fight,” I say, pulling back and looking at the smile on her face and the tears in her eyes.
“And Ace, huh?” she says with a quirk of her eyebrows, earning her a smirk of mine in return, considering she is the one who started the whole acronym with me way back when.
“What am I, chopped liver?” Becks asks as he squeezes into the room and along the wall toward me, since everyone else is focused on where my mom is now holding Ace at the foot of the bed.
“No . . . but I’d easily trade you for the warm chocolate chip cookie and milk this hospital gives you,” I tease, causing him to laugh and shake his head.
“I see how you are, Donavan,” he says as he leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek. “You did good, Ry. We’re so damn happy for you.”
“Thanks, Becks.” My God. Where are all the emotion and tears coming from right now? You’d think things were sad the way I’m leaking like a faucet instead of being the exact opposite: perfect.
“And of course he looks just like his Uncle Becks. Damn handsome.” Haddie rolls her eyes beside him and then gives him the “I’m innocent” face when he looks at her and that makes me laugh.
“Nope. I’m pretty sure his good looks take after his Uncle Tanner,” my brother says, stepping beside Becks and shaking his hand with a good-natured squeeze, kissing Haddie on the cheek in greeting before looking at me. “Hey Bubs. How’re you handling all of this?”
“It’s indescribable,” I say softly because there really are no words to accurately describe the feelings, emotions, and sensations that are a constant high in my body and mind right now.
“You look gorgeous.” I roll my eyes at the comment. “And he definitely does take after me.”
“Bullshit, Thomas,” Colton says, as he steps to the other side of the bed and reaches out to shake his hand. “I get to claim this one.”
Tanner gives him the hands up motion like it’s no contest and Colton laughs. Colton glances down at me and squeezes my hand. I can see the pride in his eyes over Ace and that gives me more hope than I thought I was even looking for that he’ll overcome his fear. Look at what those few moments of holding Ace did already.
“Where’s your better half?” I ask my brother.
“She had an event to work and is super bummed but she’s going to try to drive up tomorrow to meet him.” He leans in and gives me a hug that brims with love and whispers in my ear, “Mom’s in fricking heaven having a new little baby to spoil. She’s already telling Dad she’s not sure how she’s going to live so far away from him, so be prepared for her wanting to spend the night a lot.”
“Thanks for the warning, but I might just need the help.”
“Ha. You needing it and accepting it are two different things,” he says with a doubtful lift of his eyebrows. He’s so very right but I can’t let him know that. I glance over to where Ace is nestled gently in my mother’s arms and the need to hold him is so strong right now I have to tell myself he’s okay. And of course he is. I trust every single person in this room but when you have something be a part of you for nearly nine months, it’s a little hard to not to need that connection.
My eyes shift to the sight of Andy and Colton in a quick but heartfelt embrace. I watch as Andy steps back, one hand still on the side of Colton’s cheek, and his eyes searching his son’s in that way he always does to make sure he’s okay. It’s the look of unconditional love, and I hope that when people watch me interact with Ace, they see the same thing.