Friendship is a most precious gift. Do you treat it like that? Or do you tend to use your friends when you need them and discard them when you don’t? These are some tough questions to ask yourself. Try to avoid feeling guilty about the current state of your friendships and instead plan concrete actions that will strengthen these ties.
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128
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”
— Tenzin Gyatso
You have been keeping a food journal for one week now. Take a few minutes today to review it. Do you see any patterns? Pick out one thing you would like to change about your diet and start today. Maybe you would like to drink less soda, stop eating late at night, or avoid snacking in the afternoon. Pick one item and change your routine for the better.
Now, back to relationships. Do you believe your primary purpose in life is to help others, or do you think others should help you? That is a pretty important distinction. Living your life in service to others is quite different from living a life where you expect others to serve you. Draw a horizontal line across the middle of one of the pages in your journal. Put “helping others” on the left end of the line and “others helping you” on the right side of the line. Where do you fall? Are you habitually helpful, or do you really require help from others much more often than you give it? Put a red dot on the line to represent where you are today. Then, put a green dot on the line to show where you would like to be a month from now.
When you think about being a success, do you imagine living in a mansion with hundreds of servants taking care of your every need? Well, that’s not such a horrible image. Now you have a chance to add to your vision of success. How do you see yourself helping others—or at least not hurting them? How will you use your success for the good of someone else?
DAY
129
“Compassion is the keen awareness of the interdependence of all things.”
— Thomas Merton
Compassion carries a little more weight than empathy. When you are empathetic, you relate to how someone feels. That is a very important first step in relationships. When you are compassionate, you have a desire to help. Compassion identifies the fact of interdependence and carries with it the impulse to act. If you want to succeed in this world, then you have to take action to improve your world. It wouldn’t be very satisfying to be a success on a planet that is otherwise falling apart.
Your success is inextricably related to the well being and success of those around you. Success is not a ranking system. Many of us continue to think of it as a contest that we must win and others must lose, but that is not the case at all. You will bring others with you if you are truly successful. There will not be first, second, and third place medals given out at the end of the journey. There is no limit to the number of people who reach success.
Take empathy one step further today and practice compassion. That means when you see someone suffering, take action to help that person. It’s not good enough to just think, “Poor guy. It would be a bummer to be in his shoes.” You’ve evolved beyond that now. It is your job to offer assistance.
You will reach success if you reach out to others. If you don’t believe that’s true, give it a try for a few weeks. Witness how your life changes when you practice compassion. Discover the rewards of helping others. You may be astonished at the results. Success has nothing to do with elbowing out the competition. You must practice compassion to reach it.
DAY
130
“It’s the most breathtakingly ironic things about living: the fact that we are all . . . alone. Singular. And yet what we seek—what saves us—is our connection to others.”
— Wally Lamb
Your connection to others is what saves you from being completely alone. It is human nature to seek out those connections. You yearn for them, and they will bring real meaning to your life. So this isn’t just about learning to tolerate people or get along with them in spite of your differences. Your saving grace is the connection you have to those around you. Think about that today. People are not merely to be tolerated and occasionally helped. They are your saviors. It puts a different spin on things, doesn’t it?
Conduct a little experiment. Treat the people you come across today as if you have been searching for them your whole life. They are pearls in the ocean of your existence; they are treasures that you are thrilled to discover. When you make a connection with another human being, you are winning the lottery.
Why do this? Because that’s what it’s all about. Your connection to others is the name of the game. Do you want success? Then strengthen your relationships and notice the value of the people around you. If you don’t, it’s like being offered a treasure chest full of precious jewels and not even bothering to look at them.
People are not annoyances. They are fascinating and wonderful and unique and fallible—just like you. Don’t pass up the chance to experience the treasures that surround you every day. Stop and spend time with others. Add your own treasure to the chest, and become an integral part of the world in which you live.
DAY
131
“Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success.”
— Louisa May Alcott
Playtime is just as important as the hours you put into work. Isn’t that great? You really must schedule time to play. Many people do not realize the importance of downtime until it’s too late and they are completely burned out on work. Does that sound familiar? Do you assume that you will be a success if you keep your nose in your work and your focus only on the endless tasks ahead of you?
The truth is you will be much more productive—and happier—if you reserve time to play a little each day. When your mind has a chance to relax and follow its own whims, there is no telling what brainstorms will emerge. You just might be handed some great ideas to consider when you return to work.
Louisa May Alcott brings up another very important point in this quote. Understand the worth of time. Schedule wisely. Time is a very precious commodity, and it should not be wasted. Playtime is not a misuse of your minutes, but the time you spend in indecision, fear, or remorse is a complete waste.
Your assignment today is to look at how you spend your time. Go over your calendar from last week and point out spots where you could have used your time more wisely. What are some things you can do to exclude wasteful time and add productive minutes for work and play?
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