DAY
252
“Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.”
— Jennie Jerome Churchill
You will be studying friendships for the next few days, and one of the most important aspects of a good friendship is highlighted in the quote above, attributed to Winston Churchill’s mother. Treat your friends like your pictures. Place them in their best light.
Friends are valuable. It’s important to lift them up and show off their strengths rather than cut them down and point out their flaws. Friendship is an opportunity to celebrate another person. The goal is not to keep them in your shadow.
Who are your best friends? Why do you like them? How do they treat you? Do they make you feel good about yourself? Write about the characteristics of the best friends you’ve had in your life. Then journal for awhile about what kind of friend you think you are to others. Are you a good friend? What do you do to put your friends in their best light? Do you stick up for your friends, or are you really only around if there is something they can do for you?
Some people are takers in friendships and some are givers. You want to lean toward the giving side. Don’t worry about ending up with nothing. When you give yourself to others you very seldom end up bankrupt. Kindness has a way of multiplying and enriching your life, not taking away from it. It isn’t a chore to be a friend. It’s a gift. Put your friends in their best light, and you will be surrounded by beautiful images.
DAY
253
“You got a lotta nerve To say you are my friend When I was down You just stood there grinning You got a lotta nerve To say you gotta helping hand to lend You just want to be on The side that’s winning . . .”
— Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan is not depicting an ideal friendship in this excerpt from the song “Positively 4th Street,” released in 1965. Do you know someone like this? Do you see yourself in this song?
Loyalty is a much sought-after trait for friendships, and it is not that easy to find. On a scale of one to ten, how would your friends rate you in the loyalty department? It’s actually more important to be loyal than it is to be on the winning side all the time. Do you agree with that statement?
You don’t become a good friend by accident. You have to practice it just like you practice many other aspects that build your character. Get in the habit of helping your friends when they are down or if they need a hand. If your friend is moving into a new home, put on your work clothes and offer to pitch in and help him. When your friend goes to the hospital for surgery, visit her and keep her company.
You are well into the action phase of this book, so it’s time to get to work. Make a list of things you can do during the next week that would be helpful to your friends. Follow through with at least five items on your list before the week is over.
DAY
254
“ . . . Winter, spring, summer or fall, All you have to do is call And I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah. You’ve got a friend . . .”
— Carole King
There is a reason why the last two days have highlighted song lyrics as quotes. Millions of composers have used friendship as a subject to inspire their music. Poets, novelists, dancers, and painters have also depicted friendships. Relationships with others, both good and bad, are a common thread that holds humanity together. You choose whether you will create a strong and lasting strand or whether you will be a corrosive and withering cord that could snap at any moment.
Today you get to be the poet. Write a set of song lyrics, draw a picture, or find another artistic way to depict the kind of friend you would like to be. If you have some musical talent, you might want to compose a tune. Try to find an inspiring way to describe how you view friendship in your life. After you have completed this exercise, keep the end result nearby and refer to it often. You don’t ever have to share it with another person, but you should use it as a reminder to live up to that goal.
Strive to be the kind of friend Carole King describes in the quote above. Be a beacon of light when your friends find themselves in darkness. Be a source of hope and peace rather than discord and distain. Let your friendship be a happy tune, not a dismal picture. Let it be a rousing dance, not a mournful ode.
DAY
255
“Best friend, my wellspring in the wilderness!”
— George Eliot
How much do you value your friendships? Do you agree with George Eliot? Do you think of friends like a wellspring in the wilderness? Or do you consider the duties of friendship more like a muddy puddle you would rather avoid?
Today you will have a chance to write about your honest feelings regarding friendships. Think about how they affect your life. Journal your positive and negative thoughts on the subject. One person will consider friendship a chore, while another individual thinks of friendship as a precious gift. Once you get your thoughts down on paper, try to link instances in your life to your conclusions about friendship.
Some people have not had good luck with friendships. They are mistrustful of confiding in a new friend because they have been ill treated in the past. Others have used friendships like money in exchange for things they want. Their lack of consideration for the feelings of others soon causes people to avoid friendships with them.
After you have given a thorough report on your assessment of friendships, the next thing you should do is consider ways you might improve or change your views. Is there anything you can do that might increase the value of friendships in your life? Write down actions you can take to change. You are not allowed to consider how others might change. This is up to you. What can you do to improve how you handle friendships?
DAY
256
“It takes courage to push yourself to places that you have never been before . . . to test your limits . . . to break through barriers.”
— Anaïs Nin
Who do you think of when you see the word courage? Do you think of daring explorers like Ferdinand Magellan or Neil Armstrong? Maybe you think of people in history who had the courage to stand up for their beliefs like Chief Sitting Bull or Joan of Arc. You are just as courageous as those giants of history. All you have to do is give yourself a little push.
Your assignment today is not to become a superhero in world history. Your assignment is to give yourself a little nudge. Go somewhere you haven’t gone before. Do something that you’re not entirely sure you can do. Test your limits. You have the ability right now to be great. You can do that by stretching yourself just a little bit today. Then tomorrow you will do the same thing.