Was Cameron fooling anybody? Probably not. Flattery and insults are empty of substance. Successful people realize they are useless information and give them very little weight. What did Cameron really want? He wanted to get ahead. He probably didn’t really admire his boss. He just wanted to appear to admire his work. Cameron also most likely didn’t look very closely at his coworker’s proposal. He just wanted to make sure his peer didn’t get ahead of him in line for a promotion.
Remember that flattery and insults raise one question only, and that is: what do you want? Whether you are receiving them or sending them out, they are worthless. Practice mentally dismissing both whenever and wherever they appear.
DAY
284
“None are more taken in by flattery than the proud, who wish to be the first and are not.”
— Baruch Spinoza
An actor was interviewed for a national newspaper, and they asked her how she was dealing with the outpouring of praise she received from critics for her recent performance. Her response was enlightening. She said that if she allowed herself to believe the flattery, she would also have to buy in to the insults those same critics bestowed upon her under different circumstances.
Individuals who achieve great success are not affected by flattery—or insults. They develop a strong inner sense of their abilities, and that identity cannot be shaken. Flattery is something that influences those who do not have a strong core, those who wish they are something they are not. If you are confident you are following your destiny and doing your best, then it doesn’t matter much what other people say about you.
Don’t be concerned with flattery. It doesn’t matter. It might be true, and it might just be someone sucking up to you because they want something else. Concentrate your efforts on honoring your gifts. You know what they are. You have done a number of exercises in this book alone to find out what you enjoy and where you excel in life. Are you still traveling toward goals that match your abilities and your passions? Take some time today to reach inward and center yourself. Realign yourself with your dreams if you have gotten off course. Are you on a path that brings out your best talents? Are you honoring your gifts and bringing them out in the open?
DAY
285
“I can spot empty flattery and know exactly where I stand. In the end it’s really only my own approval or disapproval that means anything.”
— Agnetha Fältskog
Agnetha Fältskog is a successful singer who is well known as a member of the popular band ABBA. She is a terrific example of someone who knows exactly where she stands. This woman can spot empty flattery a mile away, and it has no effect on how she views herself or her success.
She points out a very important lesson. In the end, it is your own approval that means the most. Think about that for a moment. If someone lavishes praise on you, but you know deep down that you only gave a small percentage of your abilities, how do you feel about yourself? If you know that you could have done a lot better, then it’s difficult to accept or believe that praise.
You are the only one who knows exactly what you are capable of achieving. If you hold back, you will know it. You can choose to pretend to believe flattery, but you always know the truth deep down. In order to live a successful, meaningful, and happy life, you must be authentic. That means you must use your talents and not hold back. How will you feel if you don’t achieve overall success, and you know that you could have done better, but instead you chose to listen to empty flattery and quit when you thought you were ahead?
Take another day today to look inside and make sure you are being true to yourself. Are you using all of your talents? Do you approve of the efforts you are making today?
DAY
286
“He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead.”
— Unknown
Over the next few days you will be taking a look at what really matters—to you. What are the important things in your life? Are they toys? The quote above suggests that the stuff you collect doesn’t really matter much in the end. If that’s true, then what does matter?
Let’s start this series with an awareness exercise. Make a list of the things you cannot do without. Next, make a list of the things that you enjoy, but you could live without. Finally, make a list of the stuff you probably don’t need and wouldn’t mind discarding.
After you complete this assignment, take a look at your three lists. What do you notice? Write in your journal about any conclusions you can reach by observing your lists with a critical eye.
When you think about what matters to you, it might also be important to consider whether or not you matter to others. Do you feel as though you make a difference? Are you significant to those around you? Write in your journal about how you influence your surroundings, human and otherwise, and what the world would be like if you suddenly went missing. Do you think anyone would notice? How would you be missed?
DAY
287
“Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.”
— William Feather
How high does happiness rank on your list of important things? Do you believe you deserve to be happy? Have you received your share of happiness, or are you still waiting for it to show up?
Many people wait their whole life for happiness, and frankly they feel a bit gypped when they see others getting more than their fair share. These people don’t realize that happiness has shown up millions of times along their journey, but they never stopped to pick it up.
How do you make sure that you find happiness and scoop it up instead of passing it by? The first step is to be aware. Open your eyes and ears. Pay attention. Joy can be found just about anywhere. It pops up even in some of the most horrible situations. But you have to be looking for it.
Your assignment today is to look for happiness. Actually, don’t just look for it as if you were looking for a pair of socks or a lost paper clip. Hunt for it like you are on a safari to find a hidden treasure. Seek out happiness. Find the things that bring you joy, and do them. You don’t have to endure a long series of hardships in order to become a success. Part of reaching success has to do with hard work, but no one said it had to be devoid of joy. Happiness is necessary for success, so go out and cultivate it in your life.