He didn't speak. I could still feel him standing behind me, his hand in my hair. The silence filling the space between us was thick and choking.
"I have a confession, sir," I blurted out before thinking it through. I wanted to air part of my dirty laundry I'd been holding onto for so long.
"Go ahead." He removed his hand from my hair and stepped back, removing his warmth.
I had to do it on my own, without his support. "I'm a sex addict, sir. I can't help it. I get this feeling that can't be ignored and I have to masturbate. Don't laugh. God, please don't laugh. It's the honest truth. I can't help it. I fight it, I struggle with it and yet, my body gives in and does it anyway. I hate that I do it, I hate that it controls me. I've been through rehab and the twelve steps, the whole she-bang. Then my eye got caught by this man at work and even though I haven't given into compulsive behaviors or masturbating in years, it's like it never left. I know I need to get help. I will get help. It's just awfully embarrassing and everyone laughs when you try to tell them about it. They think it's a joke or that I just like doing it or the feeling..."
"Stop." He cut me off as I continued to ramble with tears streaking down both cheeks. "I understand. Guess it's a good thing I didn't want to fuck you. Heaven only knows what you have or how many men you've slept with."
His voice was harsh and cut to straight to my heart. My cheeks turned red as I bit down on my bottom lip, trying to hold back the anger that built within. I was angry at myself for being such a failure. Angry with the situation I was in and that I likely was going to lose my job. Angry with the man I'd thought to be so different for turning on me so quickly when I'd shared something so private. My tremors of fear turned to anger.
"I'd bet you've slept with more men than you can count. Lost track because there are so many. Or do you just sit by yourself while you fill your pussy with fingers, dreaming it’s a guy since none of them will touch you?" he spat from behind me.
My anger shot through the roof and I couldn't hold it back. I might be messed up five ways to Sunday, but I wasn't a doormat. No one talked to me like that. "Fuck you. You don't know what you’re talking about. You know nothing." I stood and reached for my blindfold. I wanted to see him as I tore into him, but his hand shackled my wrist and pulled it behind me as he yanked me back against his body.
"That's better. There’s that fire I want to see. You aren't that weak, pathetic girl who came in here tonight. I don't want to see her. Addiction is addiction. I'll help you deal with it. I'm here to help you face your fears and come out the other side a stronger woman. Don't think I'm going to coddle you and let you wallow in self-pity. Not happening. Now back on your knees. Time to get to business." His voice vibrated the last of the fear from my body. My anger dissipated as quickly as it had flared up.
Chapter 12
John
I knew from the moment she ran from her office like the place was on fire that she was having a melt down. Text after text went unanswered and I worried that she’d been shoved too hard so I broke down and called her. When there was no answer, I drove to her house. I couldn’t knock or ring the bell to see if she was there; I wasn’t supposed to know where she lived. Slipping into her backyard, I peeked in her windows until I got a glimpse of her leaning against her front door. She was a wreck. It had to be more than me simply catching her in her office. When she’d finally texted me, I’d watched as she slowly pulled herself together enough to drive. The vibrant, full-of-life beauty I knew wasn’t the one that was going to be showing up at the club. Leaving seconds before her, I parked behind the club and barely beat her to the room.
When she started to babble about her addiction, it gave me an idea to make her mine in more ways than she would even realize. I hadn’t wanted to be an ass to her, but I wanted to shake her out of her pity-filled head. I knew a few harsh words would do it, anything to spark that anger I knew she held inside. It pushed back that weak, powerless part of her that the addiction preyed on. She'd nearly spit fire at me and my dick jumped and grew in my pants at her attack. Until she'd reached for that damn blindfold. I hated that damn thing and loved it at the same time. It would have to go soon because I wanted to look into her eyes while I fucked her senseless. There was still time for that. There were other more pressing issues than getting my cock in her tight pussy. I'd known she wasn't fucking around. I'd been watching her entirely too closely for her to be able to have a fuck buddy.
First, she needed to learn her lesson for masturbating at work. Didn't matter that she'd been looking at me while doing it. She needed to learn to control the impulses and push past them without giving in. If she wanted to play with her pretty little pussy while looking at me, then she could do it while I watched.
"Stand," I instructed her.
"Then why did you just make me kneel?" she spat at me.
Smiling, I grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head back, causing a moan to slip from her lips. "You will not talk back to me."
"Yes, sir." Her voice cooled to her normal, calm tone. I quickly slipped the blindfold over her eyes before I got too wrapped up and forgot to put it on.
"Now, stand and strip." I let go of her and stepped back so she could fumble through undressing alone. Once she'd undressed to her panties and bra, she lowered her hands to her sides and waited for further instructions. The strand of pearls I’d given her rested against her chest. The sight of them made something in my chest squeeze tight. "I didn't say to stop undressing."
"B… but..." She hesitated. After a moment of not getting a response from me, she sighed and slipped out of her bra and panties. "There. Happy?"
"Are you sassing me?" I asked, and landed a palm firmly against her red, welted cheek. She jumped, but didn't make any other outward response to the slap. "I asked a question."
"No...sir." She curled her lip, earning her a firm slap to the other cheek. Again, no reaction. "Do you like making me hurt, sir?"
"Yes. And you like when I do it." I pressed against her back, letting her feel the hard ridge of my erection. "I bet if I slip a finger in your pussy it's dripping wet for me."
"Why don't you find out?" she challenged.
Moving quickly, I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to the bed. I let go of her a few inches above the mattress, making her feel like I dropped her. Climbing on top of her, I pushed her arms above her head, clasping both her tiny wrists in one hand while shoving her chin up with my other. "You want to play rough? Let's play rough."
I had intended to take it easy on her since she'd already had a long, tough evening. Obviously that wasn’t what she wanted or needed and that was perfectly okay with me. Using the straps that were already attached to the headboard, I restrained her wrists above her head before moving to restrain each ankle. I paused to admire her fully nude body as it was stretched out on the bed. Straddling her hips, I leaned forward and planted my lips on hers.
Her soft, pliant lips parted instantly, accepting my kiss. Unrestrained, her tongue and lips ate at my mouth.
I pulled back, both of us breathing fast and hard. How easily a soft, tender kiss had turned into a fiery exchange. Leaving a trail of kisses down the column of her neck, I made my way down her luscious body until I made it to the swells of her breasts that heaved with her rapid breaths. Her pebbled, pink nipples begged for attention and I sucked one into my mouth, giving it all that it could handle.
Alix moaned and rotated her hips under me. Pleas for more filled the air, but still I teased and tormented the little bud. Pulling a little metal clamp from my pocket, I placed it on her nipple, clamping down hard on the pleasure-filled bead. Instantly, Alix arched her hips and threw her head back. Repeating the same torment on the opposite nipple, I left it only after placing a twin clamp on it. A thin chain linked the two silver clamps.