Once I got home, I stripped and fell into bed completely naked since I still hadn't replaced the torn panties, which only brought back to mind everything I'd experienced in one short night. Master had given me a collar, which, although slightly odd, made me feel calmer in a way. It's hard to explain what a small piece of leather did for my inner crazy — almost like it was our strange way of saying we were boyfriend and girlfriend or exclusive, although we'd always been.
Groaning, I rolled onto my side, rubbing the cool sheets next to me. The collar was still around my neck along with the chain. I knew I should remove the chain so I didn't end up in a tangled mess as I slept, but I didn't want to remove anything that Master had given me.
On top of the collar, I'd had my first experience with fisting, doing naughty things in front of a crowd that not only knew what was going on, but was blatantly watching. Then to add the cherry on top of the night I got to take Master's beautiful cock into my mouth, my hand, my soul. Okay, maybe that was a bit far, but it was an experience I wouldn't be forgetting any time soon. All that control. All that strength and determination. I had broken through it. Me. Plain, boring, strange me. As much as I enjoyed it and he had seemed to as well, I knew that he wouldn't be letting it happen again anytime soon since he'd fought so hard not to give in.
My body craved getting him inside me. Feeling all that muscle and man on top of me, thrusting that large, hard cock into me. Everything about him was addictive, even the smell of his arousal leaking out of the tip of his cock. The musky scent of his sweat was more like a cologne made exclusively for me. It showed me just how hard he was working and how much he wanted me in return even if the words didn't leave his mouth.
Laying nude in bed with thoughts of Master's hard cock plunging into me normally would've had my hand between my legs, sating that need that was pulsing between my thighs. Oddly though, I felt none of that desire. Mainly because I knew that I'd have to answer for breaking the rules. As often as I purposefully broke or pushed the limits, I was determined not to allow myself to fold on this one. I feared that he would take away all the pleasure he gave me if I gave myself any relief. Not like it was hard to get him to give it to me. He seemed to only ever be a phone call or text message away.
Sighing, I rolled over and picked up my phone from where I'd tossed it on the nightstand when I'd entered my room. No messages. Damn.
I lay in bed for long minutes debating on sending one to Master or waiting for him to contact me. I wanted him to make sure he knew exactly how much I enjoyed our time together, but I didn't want him to realize how much I was coming to need him. If he knew how much I thought about him and everything he did to me, I'm sure he would run screaming for the hills. No sane man wants a woman like that.
Then again, I'd told him about my addiction and he'd handled it in stride, just like everything else. I wish I had a fraction of that control, that confidence in everything I did. Not once had I noticed a hesitation in anything he did to me.
I still didn't know anything personal about him except that he had brown hair and a delicious body hiding under those extremely well-fitted clothes I caught glimpses of. I guessed it was time to start pushing for my questions that he'd promised me early on, but had stopped asking as I grew more comfortable with our situation.
Chapter 18
John
She'd run out after I came... right after. I'd barely rolled over when she'd opened the door to the dressing room. I tried my best not to let her know I was fully awake. Not a chance in hell would I fall asleep after something so amazing. Relaxed? Yes. Asleep? Please. I wasn't that kind of man. I had had plans to give her more to remember the night by — until she'd slipped from the bed and run out. As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, I snatched up her panties before retreating through the door on the opposite side to watch her in the cameras. Watching her, I pressed the button to let the cleaning crew know to clean the room. They moved quickly entering the room almost immediately after I pressed the button. Intrigued, I watched as Alix battled with herself before reentering the room. The cleaning crew had already slipped back out after removing all the bedding.
I wasn't sure what she was looking for, but she'd seemed determined to find whatever it had been. Seeing that the room had been cleaned, she turned to leave. Quickly throwing on my jeans sans underwear, I stalked after her, pulling on my shirt as I went. I was only feet behind her in the hallway; she could’ve easily turned around and seen me, but she didn’t. Once we were outside, she tensed up and I knew she must’ve heard my footfalls. Dodging behind a car and following at a more discreet distance, I made sure she made it to her car safely. With her looking for something, I didn’t want her to go off searching around the club and ending up somewhere she shouldn’t.
Peeking around a car, I watched and waited until she left the parking lot and turned down a side street, disappearing from my view. When I returned to the club, the woman at the front informed me that the cleaning crew found something in the sheets as they were putting them in the wash. As she held up a small, clear bag with Alix's pearl necklace in it, I immediately knew what Alix had been looking for. Pride flared inside me that she cared enough to look for them while at the same time thoughts of how I could return them to her started to fly through my head. Taking the bag from the greeter, I quickly returned to my room and gathered my things before leaving. I was half-tempted to drive by Alix’s house, but I talked myself out of it. Or I thought I had, until I found myself turning down her street. Slowing down so I could get a good look at the house, I assured myself that she had indeed made it home safely. Her bedroom light was on and through the sheer curtains over the window I could see her walking around in the room.
Driving away, I fought with myself; I wanted to stay and watch her, but I didn’t. I went back to my apartment and threw my bag next to the door to be dealt with later. Pulling the bag with the necklace from my pocket, I went to my computer and turned it on. As it booted up, my mind drifted.
I knew that if Alix ever found out about my habit of following her, it would freak her out. I knew I should stop, yet I didn’t. I couldn’t. I’d never followed a woman before. I’d never felt the compulsion, desire, need to make sure a woman was safe. Even though I knew it was wrong and creepy, I couldn’t fight it. In a way, it was why Alix and I were so perfect. We each had a huge character flaw, one that most people would probably have a hard time seeing past, but together we were perfect. I could help her with her addiction and she was my addiction. Having her in my arms every night, in my bed every morning, would calm the beast inside me.
It was simply a matter of making her see the same logic. It was crazy. I was crazy.While I was in complete control of every other aspect of my life, this one woman was my weakness. The more I learned about her, the deeper in her mind I dug, the more I wanted to know, the deeper I wanted to get. It was never enough.
Some of the things I did for her were illegal. I could lose my license. I could get arrested. It didn’t matter — I’d give it all up for her. What exactly it was about her that made me lose my hard-won control, I couldn’t put my finger on. Maybe that was why I was so obsessed. I wanted to know why she was the one woman who had found the way behind my walls. Maybe the obsession would fade once I figured it out.