A sound from outside the room had me dropping my arm while reaching for my coat with the opposite one. Holding the cold fabric to my chest, I was barely covered when the door to the hallway opened. I dropped my eyes, afraid I was going to be in trouble for taking too long to dress or being out of bed when Master didn't want me to be. Instead, I heard a choking sound which had my eyes shooting up to make sure the person who'd opened the door was okay.
To my horror, it was John. The man I'd dreamed about. The man I'd masturbated thinking about. It was my turn to choke. Instinctively I took a step back toward the other room even as I tried to think of a way to get my jacket on without flashing him. How would I explain what I was doing nude in such a place? Would he tell the people I worked with? He knew who I was! My cheeks burned as embarrassment flared within my soul.
Before I could even fully process the situation or what I was going to do, he took a step forward and reached for me, and I retreated.
"Wait." It was Master's voice. I spun around to find where he was. He had to have entered the room from the other door, but looking around the room, he was no where in sight. Slowly, I turned back to see if John was still there or if maybe I had imagined him. Nope. Still there, hand still extended toward me. As if in slow motion, his mouth opened and Master's voice left John's mouth. "Precious, let me explain."
I stared in horror and stepped back again from the man I'd fantasized about with the Master’s voice. It couldn't be. The world was too big for the two to be the same. The chances were slim to none. No. It just wasn't possible. When John took another step toward me, my entire body flamed red. How embarrassing. He'd known who I was the entire time. I had told him about my addiction. He'd caught me masturbating at work. He had more than enough ammunition to completely ruin my life, not just make me lose my job.
Holding out one hand, I slowly shook my head in denial. It just couldn't be.
John took another step closer to me and I retreated again. Realizing that I was still mostly naked, I flipped the jacket over my shoulders, uncaring that I gave him a good, clear view of my entire body as I quickly buttoned it closed — or as quickly as my shaking, fumbling fingers would allow. When I lifted my eyes from the buttons, he had moved closer.
"Alix. Please let me explain. Let's talk about this before you run off," John said softly His hand gently rubbed up and down my arm.
Jerking back from his touch, I rapidly shook my head. I couldn't talk. I couldn't even fully comprehend. Dodging his hand again, I darted around him and out the door in my bare feet. I didn't know where I'd lost my shoes. It didn't matter. What mattered was getting the hell away from the most confusing place I'd ever been. The only thing that had happened since I had first entered the club was that every time I walked through the doors my life got even more confusing and messed up. Rushing past the woman at the entrance, I slammed into the door to the outside only to have it not open and pain to scream down my shoulder from the impact.
"I'm sorry, miss. We have to open the door for you and you have yet to retrieve your purse." The woman spoke calmly as if a woman running for the door was a normal occurrence. Maybe it was, but that didn't matter. I just needed out.
Grabbing my purse as she held it out, I attempted to walk much more calmly toward the door, which thankfully was unlocked as I pressed my hand against it. Once the cool air from outside rushed in against my face, I threw my purse straps over my shoulder and clamped it close to my body as I ran for my car. I didn't care how crazy or strange I looked, I just needed to get away before John or Master or whoever he was came after me. I couldn't handle another run-in with him. I just couldn't.
Thankfully I was able to make it to my car without anyone stopping me. I heard those damn creepy footsteps again, but ignored them, figuring they had to be an echo of my own in the half-full parking lot. Locking the doors of my car, I wasted no time backing out of my spot before speeding the entire way home. A speeding ticket wasn't anything compared to the mess my mind was trying to make sense of, but thankfully I didn't get stopped.
At home, I locked the door after entering. Pressing my back against the thick wood door, I slid down it. My vision was tunneling; all I could see was John's face standing there in the dressing room where I'd stripped numerous times for encounters with Master. It didn't make sense. Breathing rapidly, I tucked my head between my bent knees, folding my arms over my head as I tried to calm myself. A panic attack wouldn't help anything. Finally I was able to get my breathing under control, my vision stopped closing in on me and I leaned back against the door with my eyes closed.
Swallowing hard, it all started to click together. Master didn't want me to know his name or face. Why? Because I knew who he was. He knew who I was. It made sense why I would want to hide who I was from him, but I couldn't figure out why he would want to hide who he was from me. I didn't know anything about him. Nothing that he hadn't shared with me in our play room, anyway.
He had been in charge of what I knew about him. It didn't make sense.
After several long minutes I was able to convince myself to get up from the floor. I needed to shower. The smell of Master... I mean, John, was all over me. Normally a scent I loathed removing from my body, it just reminded me of the confusing place I was. Everything was a mess. I had to return to work on Tuesday, which left me an entire day to figure out what I was going to do if I saw him while at work. I would see him, I knew that. He seemed to always be around when I was at work. Maybe not always, but it had seemed like I was seeing him more than I normally did. I had thought it was all me making things up, but after the recent turn of events maybe it wasn't so random or made up. He'd known.
That was the part that kept swirling around in my head and I couldn't get over. He.Had.Known.
All the run-ins. All the looks. It all made sense.
What didn't make sense was why he was so afraid for me to know.
I went through everything that I could remember over and over as I showered and got my clothes ready for the next day before finally falling into bed. There was absolutely nothing that I could pinpoint as being something I could use against him. It was frustrating, but rehashing the same thing over and over wasn't going to help. A good night’s rest was what would.
Lying back in the bed, I tried to relax and convince my brain to shut off so I could find peace in sleep. It didn't happen. Hour after hour passed slowly — one tick of the clock at a time. Eventually my body gave in because it was too exhausted to continue, but all I did was dream of John and Master. It wasn't a sexy mix, but a creepy, frightening mess that had me waking with a scream in my throat and cold sweat running down my back.
After the dream I had, I gave up on getting any more rest. A quick shower with a coffee chaser was the jolt I needed to start my day early. Better to work on my day off than let my mind keep on the path it was going down. No one would question me being in on a Monday. If they did, it was easy to pass off that I was catching up on emails and phone calls. I was salaried anyway, they couldn't complain about overtime since that was a nonexistent dream in my world.
Dressed in a finely-tailored skirt suit, I drove myself to work, cursing traffic and my own horrible idea the entire drive. Once I finally pulled into the hotel parking lot, I breathed a sigh of relief. Work. The one place that was always constant in my life. The one place where I could shut off the overly-critical side of my brain because the creative, artistic side was in demand. It took less than an hour to be elbow-deep in work as if it wasn't my day off. After four hours, I'd nearly forgotten what had happened the night before. Not. It didn't matter how many calls or emails I made or answered, my mind was still partially focused on the events of the night before. Not the pleasurable parts. The parts I wished I could forget. Wash them from my eyes and brain with bleach so I could go back to the mindless, happy pleasure that Master gave me.