“I want the Blu-ray special edition, and a stack of old-school Jenna. Please and thank you,” he says, waving his beer in my direction, in total understanding of my offer.
“Fine. As soon as you get these, you are leaving, understood?”
“Scout’s honor,” he says, flipping me off, which is his version of the scout salute.
It’s good enough for me, and I race to my bedroom, hoping like hell I find these suckers asap because I haven’t watched them in a long time—a small perk of having Juliet on call, but honestly, I would much rather the porn.
Rummaging through my cabinet, I find a stack of Jenna oldies, but for the life of me, I can’t find Debbie Does Dallas. Grabbing a stack of discs, I look over at the clock and see that it’s 6:50 p.m. Madison will be here any minute, which means I need Hunter gone in seconds. These discs will have to do, but let’s face facts, it’s porn, and any porn will do.
“I can’t find Debbie, but will Riding Miss Daisy and Legally Boned do?” I ask, blindly walking into the kitchen and holding up the discs so I can read the titles off the covers. “Hunt?” I say, when he doesn’t reply.
I’m completely distracted looking at the picture of the busty blonde on the front cover, and it’s only when I hear a throat clearing that I raise my eyes to see what’s going on. The moment I see who’s standing in front of me, the discs go flying behind my shoulder and into the living area because Madison is standing before me, looking beyond embarrassed, while Hunter is standing beside her, looking beyond amused.
“Madison…Hi. Hello,” I say with a stiff upper lip, eyeballing a grinning Hunter. “You’re early.”
Madison nods, her cheeks flustered and blistering a bright red. “Hi, um, yeah. Sorry if I…interrupted,” she says, fiddling with her backpack shoulder strap.
Hunter coughs to cover his laugh, while I continue glaring at him.
“It’s fine, you weren’t interrupting anything. Hunter was just collecting his belongings, which he asked me to mind while his house was, er, getting renovated. They are in no way mine, nor have I watched them,” I lamely explain, and Hunter coughs louder.
Madison nods, but thankfully doesn’t address my obvious lie, nor does she go running for the door, afraid to spend the night at a porn fiend’s house.
“Here, let me take your bag,” I offer, and extend my hand so I can take the backpack from her shoulder.
“Thanks,” she says, and the moment my fingers brush over her skin, my body hums in exhilaration, thrilled that she’s spending the night.
“This is Hunter, by the way,” I say, nodding my chin to my friend, who is smiling from ear to ear.
“Oh, the Hunter?” she replies with a wink that only I can see.
“The one and only, sweet cheeks,” he replies with a confident swagger as he shakes her hand.
Madison laughs while I sigh.
“That wasn’t a compliment, you moron,” I declare with a grin, and Hunter looks at Madison, who nods, playing along with my ploy.
Hunter’s poise falters and he backtracks. “I’m not sure what he told you, but I can assure you, it’s all lies.”
Madison looks like she’s playfully observing him as she raises an eyebrow and replies, “I don’t think so. I think he went light on you, actually.”
“Oh yeah?” he rebukes.
“Oh yeah,” she confirms with a mischievous smile.
Hunter looks to be totally engaged by her and I shake my head, leaving them to it, as I have a feeling Madison can handle herself around my friend.
Stepping into the hallway, I quickly gather the pornographic evidence and toss them into a drawer as I enter my bedroom. I place Madison’s bag by my bed, and take a small breath, as the past twenty minutes have left me winded. The evening has not gone to plan, what with Juliet’s impromptu visit, and now Madison thinking I’m some sick porn collector. I can only hope it gets better from here on in.
As I hear Madison laughing in the kitchen, I quickly compose myself and head back out there because she is alone with Hunter, and God knows what he’ll say unsupervised.
“What did I miss?” I ask, attempting to appear casual.
Hunter looks incredibly proud of himself, while Madison is still chuckling.
“Madison and I share something in common,” he says smugly, and I look at Madison for confirmation.
She nods, her hand covering her mouth to contain her laughter.
“This I gotta hear,” I say, opening the fridge and grabbing three beers.
Passing Madison one, she accepts with a smile, and Hunter reaches for the other. However, I slap his hand away and shake my head. “I have a feeling I’ll be needing this,” I clarify, and Hunter seems to weigh up my comment for a second before nodding, obviously agreeing with me.“So, what on earth could you…”I point my bottle in Hunter’s direction. “Have you in common with Madison? I mean—”
But Madison cuts me off, clearing up my puzzlement. “We’ve both got a nickname for one another,” she says happily, taking a sip of beer.
“Oh?” I reply, as this cannot be good.
“Yup. He accidentally called me Cherry Pie.” The moment the words leave her lips, I blanch and internally visualize ripping off Hunter’s arms and beating him to death with them.
But I remain composed and arch an eyebrow. “Why ever would he do that?” I ask, glowering at Hunter, who laughs.
“Well, he said my top reminded him of cherry pies.”
I look down at her tight red tee, checking out her amazing rack along the way, and see the color is cherry pie-ish.
“How very observant of him,” I sarcastically reply, but I should be thankful he didn’t reveal the real reason behind her nickname.
“Yeah, but anyway, I have a little…quirk, I guess you could call it, where I use stupid nicknames for people, too. I’ve been doing it since I was little, ever since I nicknamed Mary ‘Lamb’.”
I nod, as I briefly remember her mentioning this during our texting marathon. We all have our little eccentricities, and this just happens to be Madison’s.
I’m afraid to ask what pet name she has given to Hunter, but I bite the bullet. “Let me guess, you’ve dubbed Hunter, ‘PITA’,” I say, and Madison raises an eyebrow, confused. “Pain in the ass,” I clarify, and she bursts out laughing.
“No,” she replies, still chuckling. “Debbie.” I almost spit out my beer.
Hunter cackles loudly and shrugs. “Hey, I like it. I’m totally down with being Debbie.”
“Yeah, you would,” Madison and I both reply at the same time, which sets Hunter off.
“Dix, I love this chick. Can we keep her?” He laughs, interlacing his fingers into praying hands, while Madison devilishly joins in with his laughter.
I still can’t believe we’re talking about porn in code, in my kitchen, with Madison. But I should have known, never underestimate this little…diavolo.
23
It’s Not You, it’s Me
DIXON
As Madison excuses herself to use the bathroom, Hunter lunges forward and pokes his finger into my chest.
“If you do not have sex with that girl, then I will.” I slap his hand away and dodge his pokey pointer before he decides to get another case of the crazies.
“Okay, whatever, Debbie,” I retort, rolling my eyes.
“Hey, only Maddy gets to call me that. I think she’s sweet on me,” he teases with a grin.