“If you have any pride, you’ll leave with your head held high,” she smartly says, repeating my parting words to her.
“Fuck you.”
“Oh, I plan to,” she replies arrogantly.
She throws me a wink over her shoulder, before casually sauntering off like she didn’t just blackmail me into being her lapdog.
I need to get out of here, as I’m seconds away from losing my shit, and before I do anything rash I need to think. I charge toward the staircase, needing the physical burn of twenty-two flights of stairs to assure me that I’m still human.
What did I just agree to?
I just signed my soul over to Lucifer herself, and I don’t know what to do. There is no way I can do what Juliet is proposing. I can’t. I can’t touch her the way she wants me to because I’m no longer that man. Madison has changed me, and I’ve never felt so alive. But what other choice do I have?
Juliet has the power to destroy my personal life and my career. Even if her claims fall on deaf ears, they’ll plant the seed of doubt, and once planted, my reputation will be ruined. This is not a forgiving world we live in, especially when you live amongst rich, judgmental pricks.
At floor fourteen, I realize I’m fucked.
My sordid past has come back to bite me in the ass, and I’ve got no one to blame but myself. I could blame Lily, or my mother’s death, for behaving like an immoral whore, but that would be a cop-out, an excuse. I did the things I did because I liked it. If the tables were turned and I was the one facing the judgmental chair, I would diagnose myself as being an addict of the worst kind.
I’m addicted to sin.
My body is dripping in perspiration and shaking in rage as I shoulder open the door and frantically search the foyer for Madison. The moment I see her, my heart sinks in regret because I see her leaning against a wall, crying.
Has Juliet had second thoughts and gone ahead and told her what a filthy bastard I really am?
“Madison?” I anxiously call, charging over to her.
She quickly turns my way and I hold my breath, unsure of what I’ll see reflected in her eyes. But I exhale softly when I see only relief and happiness flash across her troubled face.
“Dixon,” she cries, meeting me halfway. “Did you take the stairs?” she sniffs, looking at my disheveled state.
“Ah, yes. The elevator was taking too long, and I couldn’t wait to see you. Why are you crying, angelo?” I ask, brushing away a tear away.
She lowers her face, and I raise her chin with my fingertips. “What’s wrong?”
“I…I thought you had second thoughts.”
“About us?” I ask, horrified.
“Yes,” she confesses, a tear spilling down her cheek.
“Why on earth would you think that?” I coo, wiping away her tear.
“Because of Beth,” she sadly admits. “She’s toxic, Dixon. Everything she touches turns to shit.”
“Well, you’ve got nothing to worry about,” I affirm, pulling her into my arms. “She will never touch me,” I conclude, meaning every word.
“What did she want to talk to you about?” she muffles against my chest.
“It’s not important. The only thing that matters is you. It’s been a big night, I’ll take you home,” I say, needing to get as far away from Juliet as possible.
“Can I stay at your place?” she asks, nervously.
Normally, I would be overjoyed at her confidence, but now, I just feel undeserving. But how can I say no? “Of course,” I reply. “I would like nothing more.” Still in my arms, I can’t help but ask her, “Why Beth?”
Madison sniffs, wrapping her arms tighter around my waist. “Apparently her mom named her after Juliet Capulet. The reason for this, according to Juliet, was because she was exceptionally beautiful and would capture the heart of any man. Friend or foe,” she adds, and I can’t help but snicker at Juliet’s arrogance.
“Anyway, Mary and I decided that Macbeth was a better-suited Shakespearean character for her. And when I say Macbeth, I mean Lady Macbeth. Lady Macbeth is ambitious, manipulative and evil. And she’s also in cahoots with the witches. Therefore, Beth stuck, as it’s better suited than Juliet.”
“I think you’ve chosen well,” I spit, while Madison pulls away, looking up at me curiously. I don’t elaborate. I do, however, ask her, “What’s my nickname?”
She thinks about it for a moment and smiles. “You’re just Dixon.”
“Really? I don’t get a special name?” I question with a staged frown.
Madison reaches up, and lays her palm against my cheek. “Your name is special enough,” she sincerely confesses, while my heart shatters into two.
Act V
35
Choose Wisely
DIXON
In life, you’re given a choice to do good, or to do evil. And whatever choice you make, impacts your entire future.
If I knew then what I know now, would I have chosen differently?
Looking down at the sleeping angel beside me, I know the answer is yes. I would have done so many things differently. But that’s the thing about hindsight: no one has a crystal ball to predict if your decision was the right one to make. You simply have to live with the consequences and deal with the life you’ve chosen to live.
So choose wisely, my friends, because once you’ve chosen…there’s no turning back. So, what choice did I make?
There was only ever one choice to make.
My hand was forced and now…I’m driven to sin.
What greater punishment is there than life when you’ve lost everything that made it worth living?
Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare.
A letter from Monica
Thank you, merci, danke, toda, grazie, obrigado, salamat po, and arigato! No matter what language, I wanted to thank you so very much for reading Addicted to Sin.
I am honestly so blessed to have incredible readers such as yourself welcome me and my characters into your heart and home. There are so many amazing components to writing, and one of my most favourite parts is to read what YOU the reader thought. I’m constantly wondering if you laughed, cried, swooned, and let’s not forget, almost dropped the book and screamed NO HE DIDN’T when I did. If you loved Dixon and his sinful gang, I would absolutely love to hear from you. Sharing is caring as they say, so I would be so very thankful if you could take a few moments and leave a short review. And just between you and me, so would Dr. Mathews ;)
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Thank you once again for reading my book, and stay tuned for Book 2: Driven to Sin... coming soon.
If you thought Dixon Mathews was deliciously bad in Book 1, you better strap yourself in because we’ve only skimmed the surface, my friends. In the words of Dr. Mathews, “Who wants to be good, when it feels so good being bad?”