First there were his older siblings, some born to Ahajas and becoming more Human, and some born to Lilith and becoming more Oankali. There were also children of older siblings, and finally, frighteningly, unrelated people. Akin could not understand why some of the unrelated ones were more like Lilith than Joseph had been. And none of them were like Joseph.
Dichaan read Akins unspoken confusion.
The differences you perceive between Humansbetween groups of Humansare the result of isolation and inbreeding, mutation, and adaptation to different Earth environments, he said, illustrating each concept with quick multiple images. Joseph and Lilith were born in very different parts of this worldborn to long separated peoples. Do you understand?
Where are Josephs kind? Akin asked aloud.
Now there are villages of them to the southwest. Theyre called Chinese.
I want to see them.
You will. You can travel to them when youre older. He ignored Akins rush of frustration. And someday Ill take you to the ship. Youll be able to see Oankali differences, too. He gave Akin an image of the shipa vast sphere made up of huge, still-growing, many-sided plates like the shell of a turtle. In fact, it was the outer shell of a living being. There, Dichaan said, youll see Oankali who will never come to Earth or trade with Humans. For now, they tend the ship in ways that require a different physical form. He gave Akin an image, and Akin thought it resembled a huge caterpillar.
Akin projected silent questioning.
Speak aloud, Dichaan told him.
Is it a child? Akin asked, thinking of the changes caterpillars underwent.
No. Its adult. Its larger than I am.
Can it talk?
In images, in tactile, bioelectric, and bioluminescent signals, in pheromones, and in gestures. It can gesture with ten limbs at once. But its throat and mouth parts wont produce speech. And it is deaf. It must live in places where there is a great deal of noise. My parents parents had that shape.
This seemed terrible to AkinOankali forced to live in an ugly form that did not even allow them to hear or speak.
What they are is as natural to them as what you are is to you, Dichaan told him. And they are much closer to the ship than we can be. Theyre companions to it, knowing its body better than you know your own. When I was a little older than you are now, I wanted to be one of them. They let me taste a little of their relationship with the ship.
Show me.
Not yet. Its a very powerful thing. Ill show you when youre a little older.
Everything was to happen when he was older. He must wait! He must always wait! In frustration, Akin had stopped speaking. He could not help hearing and remembering all that Dichaan told him, but he would not speak to Dichaan again for days.
Yet it was Dichaan who began leaving him in the care of his older sisters, letting him begin to investigate themwhile they thoroughly investigated him. His favorite among them was Margit. She was six years oldtoo small to carry him long, but he was content to ride on her back or sit on her lap for as long as she could handle him comfortably. She did not have sensory tentacles like his Oankali-born sisters, but she had clusters of sensitive nodules that would probably be tentacles when she grew up. She could match some of these to the smooth, invisible sensory patches on his skin, and the two of them could exchange images and emotions as well as words. She could teach him.
You should be careful, she said as she took him to shelter in their family house, away from a hard afternoon rain. Your eyes dont track a lot of the time. Can you see with them?
He thought about this. I can, he said, but I dont always. Sometimes its easier to see things from other parts of my body.
When youre older, youll be expected to turn your face and body toward people when you talk to them. Even now, you should look at Humans with your eyes. If you dont, they yell at you or repeat things because theyre not sure they have your attention. Or they start to ignore you because they think youre ignoring them.
No ones done that to me.
They will. Just wait until you get past the stage when they try to talk stupid to you.
Baby talk, you mean?
Human talk!
Silence.
Dont worry, she said after a while. Its them Im mad at, not you.
Why?
They blame me for not looking like them. They cant help doing it, and I cant help resenting it. I dont know which is worsethe ones who cringe if I touch them or the ones who pretend its all right while they cringe inside.
What does Lilith feel? Akin asked only because he already knew the answer.
For her, I might as well look the way you do. I remember when I was about your age, she would wonder how I would find a mate, but Nikanj told her there would be plenty of males like me by the time I grew up. She never said anything after that. She tells me to stick with the constructs. I do, mostly.
Humans like me, he said. I guess because I look like them.
Just remember to look at them with your eyes when they talk to you or you talk to them. And be careful about tasting them. You wont be able to get away with that for much longer. Besides, your tongue doesnt look Human.
Humans say it shouldnt be gray, but they dont realize how different it really is.
Dont let them guess. They can be dangerous, Akin. Dont show them everything you can do. But
hang around them when you can. Study their behavior. Maybe you can collect things about them that we cant. It would be wrong if anything that they are is lost.
Your legs are going to sleep, Akin observed. Youre tired. You should take me to Lilith.
In a little while.
She did not want to give him up, he realized. He did not mind. She was, Humans said, gray and wartymore different than most Human-born children. And she could hear as well as any construct. She caught every whisper whether she wanted to or not, and if she were near Humans, they soon began to talk about her. If she looks this bad now, what will she look like after metamorphosis? they would begin. Then they would speculate or pity her or condemn her or laugh at her. Better a few more minutes of peace alone with him.
Her full Human name was Margita Iyapo Domonkos Kaalnikanjlo. Margit. She had all four of his living parents in common with him. Her Human father, though, was Vidor Domonkos, not the dead Joseph. Vidorsome people called him Victorhad moved to a village several miles upriver when he and Lilith tired of one another. He came back two or three times a year to see Margit. He did not like the way she looked, yet he loved her. She had seen that he did, and Akin was certain she had read his emotion correctly. He had never met Vidor himself. He had been too young for contact with strangers during the mans last visit.
Will you tell Vidor to let me touch him when he comes to see you again? Akin asked.
Father? Why?
I want to find you in him.
She laughed. He and I have a lot in common. He doesnt like having anyone explore him, though. Says he doesnt need anything burrowing through his skin. She hesitated. He means that. He only let me do it once. Just talk to him if you meet him, Akin. In some ways he can be just as dangerous as any other Human.
Your father?
Akin
All of them! Havent you explored any of them? Cant you feel it? She gave him a complex image. He understood it only because he had explored a few Humans himself. Humans were a compelling, seductive, deadly contradiction. He felt drawn to them, yet warned against them. To touch a Human deeplyto taste onewas to feel this.
I know, he said. But I dont understand.
Talk to Ooan. It knows and understands. Talk to Mother, too. She knows more than she likes to admit.