“Mmm,” he murmurs.
I’m not surprised by the drop in my stomach watching him get lost in the taste of my orgasm.
“Now, tell me that was mediocre.” He smirks after licking his fingers.
“Get off me.” I push at him, jolted back into reality.
“Not until you admit it.”
“Fuck you.”
“No, fuck you, Holly. Don’t come into my club and think you can play me. You won’t win,” he says, turning, leaving me again after a mind-blowing orgasm. I don’t know what’s worse, watching him leave while I stood naked in my house, or now, fully dressed and feeling like a whore in his club.
Fucker.
***
Pregnant…
“How can I be pregnant?” I ask the doctor two weeks later.
“Sometimes the contraceptive pill isn’t one hundred percent foolproof. Anything as simple as taking your pill a few hours late can mess with the accuracy of it,” he repeats for the second time this morning. I made him retest me twice before I believed him and now I’m freaking out.
Well, shit, I’m going to be a mom. I race to the small sink in the doctor’s room and throw up my breakfast for the fifth morning this week. I knew something was off last week when I started feeling nauseous. I didn’t think this was what he would be telling me though. I expected something more along the lines of a virus.
“I can’t believe this,” I say to myself, shaking my head. How the hell am I going to be a mom?
“We can look at your options, but I’d like to give you all the information and give you a few days to think on it,” he says, seemingly reading my mind.
Shit, how am I going to tell Sy? After our two times together a few weeks ago, we’ve kept our distance. The way we left things should be enough to prove to me there is no way he will ever be okay with this when he can’t stand to be around me. Oh, God.
“Speak to Carla out front and ask her to book you an appointment a week from today. We can then discuss your options,” he says, standing from behind his desk and handing me some pamphlets.
“Thank you.” I nod numbly, leaving the room before I break down. I need to call my mom.
Racing out with my mounting anxiety, I make it to my car and ring my mom before I have a full-on panic attack. I don’t even bother making an appointment. My head is too foggy. She picks up on the third ring.
“Hey, sweetheart,” she answers, her normal happy self.
“Hey, Mom.” I begin to cry, knowing she’ll be supportive but still be worried.
“What’s wrong, doll?” she asks.
“I’ve messed up, Mom,” I say, sniffing into the phone.
“Okay,” she says calmly, not freaking out.
“I’m pregnant,” I croak out, knowing I just have to get it out there. The line goes quiet and for a moment I think I’ve lost her.
“Mom?”
“I’m here. I just had to sit down a moment.”
“I’m so sorry, Mom, for calling you like this,” I cry into the phone, clearly not thinking this through. What kind of daughter just calls their mom and dumps this shit on them?
“Oh, baby, it’s okay,” she says, trying to calm me down as I sob into the phone. This is not meant to happen.
“I don’t know how this happened. I’m on the pill. The doctor said it can happen, but shit, Mom, two times with a guy and I’m pregnant. I was just so stupid.”
“Does he know?” she asks, talking about the baby’s father. Sy, the man who doesn’t even want me.
“God, no,” I respond, drawing in a breath at the thought of telling him. “It wasn’t anything serious,” I cringe at admitting it, but it’s the truth. Even if I wanted more, Sy isn’t the type of man to go there.
“It’s going to be okay, Holly,” she tries to comfort me, but there’s nothing she can say that will take away my unease and fear.
“I don’t know what to do, Mom,” I say, not listening to her reasoning.
“What do you mean, what to do?” she questions carefully.
“You know what I mean, Mom.”
“No, I don’t, Holly.”
“Well, if I’m going to keep it or not,” I explain and hear her suck in a breath at my confession.
“Holly, you know I love you and I’ll support you through anything you decide, but I really think you need to take a breather first. I want you to think this through. You need to discuss this with him.”
“I know. I’m just so confused.”
“And I get that, I do, but don’t make any decisions just yet, okay?” she pleads.
“Okay, I won’t,” I tell her, knowing I need more time.
“Have you told Kadence?” she asks and I cringe. Oh, shit, how am I going to tell her?
“Not yet. I pretty much just threw up in the doctor’s office and flew out of there. I don’t know how I’m going to tell her,” I admit, knowing that’s a copout. She will ask questions I’m not ready to answer.
“Let’s do lunch, tomorrow.”
“That would be good, Mom.”
“Okay, darling. I’ll call you in the morning to see how you’re feeling. I remember when I was pregnant with you. You made me bring up my breakfast for twelve weeks,” she laughs and her voice gets that soft wispy sound it always does when she talks about my brother and me as children. Instantly, my hand goes to my stomach.
“I love you, Mom,” I whisper, wondering if I could ever be as good a mom as her.
“I love you, too,” she says before hanging up.
Taking a deep breath, I rest my head on the steering wheel as the pamphlets the doctor gave me sit heavily on my lap.
What am I going to do? I need to tell Sy before making my decision. I could never keep this from him. The thought alone has my head out the door of the car, heaving up the rest of my stomach’s contents.
He might not be okay with it, but I can’t make this decision alone.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Sy
“Hey, Sy.” Tina walks up to me, her tits falling out of her top. I don’t know what her game is, but I’ve shot her down already tonight. The bitch is clutching at straws. Yeah, I’ve fucked her once in the past, but since Holly walked into my shop, I haven’t been able to sort my shit out. “What are you doing all the way over here?” she asks, sitting her ass down on my bent knee.
“Tina, fuck off,” I say, not in the mood for club pussy. I’m pissed. I can’t get my head around a certain blonde woman. Tina pouts, but knows I’m serious when I nudge her off my knee. Bitch should know not to fucking touch me. She rises in a huff, pissed she’s not getting what she wants and stalks back inside.
“That wasn’t nice,” Jesse says from behind me.
“Don’t give a fuck.”
“Yeah, we all know that,” he laughs, finding the whole thing funny.
“What do you want, Jesse?”
“Just checking in with you, brother,” he says, taking a seat.
“I thought you were on Kadence watch tonight?” I ask, trying to keep up with everything going on in the club. After the club barbecue two weeks ago, shit went down between Nix and his ex-wife, Addison. The blowout happened right after I finger fucked Holly in the hallway. I knew I fucked up when I saw the look of disgust on her face after what I said to her, but I couldn’t go to her. Nix needed me more as Addison went at Kadence and Z. Everyone left soon after the drama, and by the time I was able to talk, she had gone.
“Nah, Brooks is on,” he says, kicking back, stretching his legs out in front of him. “I’m on tomorrow. You?”
“Tomorrow night,” I tell him, hoping like fuck Nix gets his ass home soon. If I could avoid this shit, I would.
“So, Holly,” Jesse smiles and my body tenses at her name. He laughs when he gets a reaction out of me. “What’s the deal?”
“No fucking deal.” I act indifferent while inside my body is humming at the sound of her name.
“Didn’t look like no deal when you were finger fucking her last time she was here,” he jokes and I move fast, bringing him up by the scruff of his shirt, and banging him back up against the wall.