“Oh, God, I want to push,” Kadence screams as another contraction tears through her.
“Yeah, she feels like she needs to,” Sy replies. “Okay,” he says, looking up at Nix “Nix, I’m gonna have to do this brother, unless you want to do it?” he asks, but I can see the struggle on Nix’s face. It’s something between fear and confusion. The poor man is a hot mess.
“Nix, come here. Get behind her,” I order, trying to help him get his head around the fact that his child is about to be born on the living room floor with one of his brother's hands between his wife’s legs. He moves around, sitting in behind her and links his hands with hers.
“Oh, God! It’s coming,” Kadence pants before letting out an almighty scream.
“Kadence, you need to stop pushing. Hold it there,” Sy pauses, listening to more instructions.
“I need to push. I need to push.” Kadence’s voice sounds desperate as she fights off what her body is trying to tell her.
“Breathe through it, Kadence. Like you were taught in our classes,” Nix says, finally coming into the moment.
“I don’t give a shit what they say, Nix. This feels like someone is ripping my vagina apart.” She screams as the next contraction comes on.
“Paramedics are here,” Jesse calls through the front door. I can see the guests, gathering around the door, but I don’t have time to worry about them right now.
“Bring them through, quickly,” I say, watching as she bears down.
“Okay, Kadence. Push just a little, okay?” Sy repeats so calmly that even I find myself relaxing at his composure. She follows his instructions, slowly pushing and breathing.
“That’s it, Kadence,” I say, watching as the top of the head can be seen.
“Fuck, babe, you’re doin’ so good,” Nix says, wiping away tears and kissing her head. The gesture hits me right then and there. Sy and I are witnessing our best friends deliver their child, an amazing experience and beautiful moment right here on their living room floor.
“Hello,” a female and male EMT rush in right on time. “We can take it from here,” she interrupts, coming in to replace Sy.
“She’s almost there,” Sy says, stepping back letting them have room.
“That’s it, keep going, Kadence,” Nix encourages, holding onto her hands as she squeezes through her final push.
“Okay, Kadence. My name is Jenny and we are about to meet this sweet little baby of yours. Give me one more push and we can get you off to the hospital,” she says, spreading Kadence’s legs wider.
“Oh, God. Oh, Goddd!” she screams, making me feel terrible and excited all in the space of a second.
“That’s it. You’re doing great. Now catch your baby, Kadence,” the EMT says as she helps to pull the baby out. The sound of a baby taking its first breath of life is something I know I’ll never forget.
“Holy shit,” I breathe, watching her cradle her baby up on to her chest. It’s one of those serene moments, like seeing love at first sight in slow motion. Tears fall from my eyes watching Nix and Kadence meet their baby for the first time.
“Are you okay, baby?” Sy turns to face me as we step back, letting them have their space.
“Yeah,” I say, shocked at what we just witnessed. “I love you, Sy. You did amazing,” I say through tears, listening to the sound of their baby’s crying.
“It’s a girl,” Kadence exclaims. “We have a baby girl, Nix.”
“Fuck me,” Nix curses, causing us all to laugh.
Sy
“You freaked the fuck out, Nix.” I hear Jesse accuse as we walk into the hospital room. After the EMTs took Kadence and Nix to the hospital, we stayed back, cleaned up and saw everyone off. I don’t know what Holly’s thinking; we’ve both been lost in our own thoughts, but after an experience like that, I know I'm sure as fuck ready to hold our child in my arms and watch him take his first breath.
“You’re here.” Kadence notices us first. She sits up in her hospital bed a little taller.
“Hey,” Holly greets her from next to me. “We had to clean up,” she says, leaning down to kiss her. “How are you?” Holly pulls back.
“Good, feeling great,” Kadence smiles and then turns her gaze to me. “Hey,” she looks nervous for a second, and I realize I just delivered her baby. She might be feeling uncomfortable. I look up at Jesse and Beau, nodding at them to give us a minute.
“Come on, Z. Let's go get something to eat.” They take him out, leaving us alone.
“You saved me again,” she says when they leave us, and it almost chokes me up. Who knew these people would become my family?
“No big deal,” I say, trying to shrug it off when in reality, it feels fucking good.
“It is a big deal to me,” she whispers, looking down at her daughter. “Would you like to hold Harlow?” she asks, smiling. Their little girl’s name is sweet and beautiful. She draws me in closer to the bed.
“Harlow?” Holly asks, smiling down at her.
“Yeah,” Kadence softly replies. Lifting the small baby up, she hands her over to me, and for a minute I panic, not remembering how to hold a baby.
“You can’t hurt her,” Kadence says, placing her in my arms then moving away. Taking a step back, I look down at the little girl, her milky soft skin and dark hair reminding me a little of Keira.
“She’s beautiful,” I say truthfully, looking at Holly and seeing the same sort of emotions flick over her face. We’ve both seen so much pain and loss in our past; it makes today even more emotional.
“Just like her momma,” Nix says, leaning down to kiss Kadence’s forehead.
“You want to hold her?” I look up and watch Holly wipe a stray tear away. I want to comfort her, help her through this, but the perfect little baby in my arms makes it difficult.
“Yeah,” she sniffs, sitting on the end of the bed and holding out her arms. Carefully, I place baby Harlow in her arms and step back, letting her have their own special moment.
“We wanted to ask you something,” Kadence says, sitting up and reaching out, running a finger along her daughter’s brow. “We would be honored if you and Sy would be Harlow’s godparents,” she asks, momentarily shocking me.
“Oh, my God. Yes, of course,” Holly squeals in delight, stirring Harlow for a second. “Oh, sorry, sweet girl,” she coos her back to sleep with a soft rock, while I watch on in awe of her.
“Sy?” Kadence asks when I don’t respond.
I smile at the thought, the poor girl not only has a badass daddy, but she has me and a whole clubhouse full of men ready to protect her.
“As long as you guys return the honor for our boy,” I say, giving our own secret away. I don’t care if they know. It's Holly who wanted to ask them later, but now seems like a good enough time.
“You’re having a boy?” Kadence squeals this time, then starts crying all over the place.
“Yeah,” Holly replies, giving me a stare. “We were keeping it under wraps, but looks like Harlow already has Sy wrapped around her little finger.” She looks at me accusingly.
“Not as much as you do,” I tell her, leaning down to give her a light kiss.
“Smooth,” Holly whispers, pulling back.
“Congrats, brother.” Nix comes forward and embraces me.
“You, too.” I slap his back twice before moving away.
“We would love to, guys,” Kadence says, wiping at her face.
“Okay, now, get the fuck out of here. My wife and baby girl need sleep.” He takes Harlow out of Holly's arms and orders us out.
“Nix.” Kadence scowls but we can see how exhausted she looks. Taking Holly’s hand, we say our goodbyes and leave them with promises to celebrate when Kadence and Harlow are released.
“You did good in there,” I tell Holly when we walk out hand in hand down the hospital corridor and back to the car.
“So did you,” she replies.
“This will be us in a couple more months. Are you ready?” She asks the big question that weighs on my mind. Am I ready? I want to say yes, that I handled holding Harlow and didn’t freak out, but the truth is, I know it's going to be a whole lot different when our own baby comes.