‘In a sick sort of way I’m going to miss this,’ he said softly.
The tide was high, leaving only a narrow strip of warm, dry sand. Ryan and I had arranged to meet the others on the harbour beach, at our usual sheltered spot under the wall. They were already there, Amy hiding her milky skin in the shade of a beach umbrella, the others stripped down to shorts and T-shirts, basking in the unseasonably warm glow of April sunshine. Connor saw us first. He stared as we walked across the beach towards him.
‘Did you take the bus?’ he asked, checking his watch.
‘I drove us,’ said Ryan.
‘You’re making quite a habit of driving around with under-age drivers,’ Connor said, glaring at me.
Ryan looked from Connor to me and back again.
‘Did you take the bypass or the coast road?’ Connor asked Ryan.
‘The coast road,’ said Ryan. ‘What difference does it make?’
Connor smiled thinly. ‘She hasn’t told you, has she?’
Ryan shrugged one shoulder. ‘Told me what? How can I answer that question?’
‘Shut up, Connor,’ I said. ‘The buses aren’t convenient and Ryan’s a good driver. Anyway, it’s my decision.’
‘Don’t argue, children,’ said Megan.
Matt stood up. ‘We’ve been waiting for you two. The tide is high and you know what that means.’
I groaned.
‘We’re gonna jump off the harbour wall! First jump of the year. Coming?’
‘You go ahead,’ I said. ‘We’ll come down in a minute.’
Matt clucked like a chicken. ‘The tide is high, Eden. It doesn’t get any safer than this.’
‘It’s not just the water, it’s the height,’ I said. ‘And the rocks.’
‘The rocks aren’t dangerous at high tide,’ said Matt. ‘You just have to know exactly where to jump. If you watch where I jump, you’ll be OK.’
‘And if I don’t jump where you jump?’
Matt mimed his head exploding. ‘It’s game over!’
‘Exactly. No thanks.’
He threw a shortie wetsuit towards Ryan. ‘I brought my spare if you want to borrow it.’
Ryan pulled off his jacket and threw it on the sand. ‘I’ll keep Eden company.’
The four of them ran across the sand to the harbour wall. It towered above the water, even at high tide.
Ryan raised his left arm to push the hair out of his face, and the sleeve of his T-shirt rose up revealing a tattoo on his bicep. It was a large, blue sphere and a smaller white sphere cradled in the black branches of a tree.
‘What’s your tattoo?’ I asked.
He glanced at it. ‘It’s a symbol. An environmental thing.’
‘Did it hurt?’
‘Not really.’
‘Can I look at it?’
He held his arm out and I touched the tattoo with my fingers. I expected it to feel different to the rest of his skin, but it didn’t.
‘It’s beautiful.’
Ryan covered it with his sleeve. ‘Thanks.’
‘You sure you don’t want to go with them?’ I said. ‘I don’t mind sitting on my own.’
He shook his head. ‘I don’t want to jump off the wall. I want to spend time with you.’
‘You do?’
He looked at me with a bemused expression. ‘Yes. I like you. You’re interesting.’
I didn’t feel remotely interesting, sitting on the beach, too scared to join in with the fun my friends were having.
‘But you hardly know anything about me.’
Ryan laughed, just as Megan launched herself off the harbour wall with a scream. I watched as she swam towards the shore. From experience, I knew that they’d all repeat the jump four or five times before they tired of it and swam across the bay to Lucky Cove on the opposite headland.
‘Are you going to educate me?’ said Ryan.
I looked at him, lost. ‘What do you want to know?’
‘Everything.’ He was still smiling at me with his big, warm smile, a smile that was amused and friendly and just on the cusp of being flirtatious without quite crossing into it.
‘That could take a while,’ I said, feeling myself blush.
‘I don’t mind.’
I lay back on the sand and closed my eyes, enjoying the gentle caress of the April sunshine on my skin.
‘Everything is a big subject,’ I said. ‘How about you get to ask me three questions.’
‘Like three wishes in a fairytale?’
‘Mmm. Exactly. And then I get to ask you three.’
‘OK,’ he said. ‘Only three questions. I’ll have to make them count. So let’s start with the perfect date.’
‘That’s a good question,’ I said, stretching my arms above my head. I’d never considered it before. My perfect date. I’d never been on any kind of date, good or bad. ‘I’d like to drink cold champagne and eat warm, sweet strawberries while the sun sets over the sea.’ I’d never had champagne before, but I liked the way it sounded.
Ryan laughed. ‘Very romantic.’
‘I hope so. I mean, for it to be the perfect date, it would have to be with someone I love.’
‘That leads on perfectly to my next question. Have you ever been in love, Eden?’
Both the question and the way he said my name made my heart stall. I was pretty sure my blush must be in full bloom by now, from chest to forehead. I put my hands over my eyes to shield them from the sun and my embarrassment, and then parted my fingers slightly so I could look up at him. He was looking down at me, the sun weaving through his hair and lighting up his face.
‘No,’ I said, although I was beginning to wonder if the acute mixture of nerves and embarrassment I felt whenever he was near might be one of the symptoms.
He held my gaze, a half-smile on his face. ‘What are you afraid of?’ he asked.
For a moment I thought he was still talking about love, but then I realised that this was question three.
‘Heights,’ I said. ‘Deep water. And missed opportunities.’
‘Missed opportunities,’ he repeated. ‘I agree. OK. Your turn.’
I thought for a moment, unsure what I most wanted to know about him.
‘What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?’ I asked in the end.
Ryan exhaled slowly. ‘Whoa. Right in with the serious stuff. How about a gentle warm-up question first to help me relax.’
‘I only have three questions.’
‘You’ll probably be disappointed by my answer. I haven’t done anything really bad. I guess the worst thing I’ve ever done is pretend to be someone I’m not so I could fit in with a group of people.’
I couldn’t imagine Ryan struggling to fit in. It made him sound vulnerable in a way that didn’t add up.
‘Second question?’ he asked.
‘What do you want to do when you grow up?’
‘I don’t know,’ he said, shrugging one shoulder. ‘Probably something with the environment. With animals or plants. Study ecosystems. Protect fragile habitats.’
‘Like a job at the Eden Project?’
He smiled. ‘Something to do with Eden. Yeah. That would be perfect.’
‘Last question,’ I said. ‘Who is your hero?’
Ryan chuckled. ‘Connor.’
I looked up at him through my fingers. He was laughing of course.
‘Connor?’ I asked.
‘Why not? He’s smart, he’s independent, and he doesn’t care what anyone thinks. And he has you for a best friend.’
‘Be serious.’
‘Fine. I don’t have heroes. I don’t believe in them.’
‘Why not Gandhi or Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King? Surely they’ve done more to earn your admiration than Connor?’
Ryan said nothing. Out of nowhere came the memory of Matt telling me that Ryan had never heard of Hitler. I sat up. ‘You have heard of Gandhi and Mandela?’
‘Of course,’ he said. He dug his heel into the sand and frowned.